The fall is also my 2nd favorite season (summer is #1) because it reminds me of the most important day of my life aside from the day I had my son; my wedding day! October 5th will be my 3rd wedding anniversary and apparently my hubby is planning our celebration... stay tuned for that bit of news and I'm sure I will walk you all down memory lane sometime soon.
Marriage has really been an amazing experience and I'm really grateful to have a partner in this thing called life. It's nice to know that no matter what, you are not alone and I have been in some really awesome company. Still, it's always a challenge when trying to unite two different people and the first years of marriage are all about getting that blend going.
Becoming one is not just something that magically happens on your wedding day... it is a process and like every process it isn't always easy. We have to make our own decisions as a couple, decide how we want to live, and create our own traditions. Now that we have a child, the challenge of these decisions has only intensified and we are learning to put aside the notion of "my family does it like this" and ask "how will OUR family do it?"
Thankfully, we go to a pretty awesome church that has a marriage connection group meeting once a month. It's nice to sit with other married couples in various stages of their relationships and feel that support. Last month, we took Dr.Gary Smalley's personality type quiz to learn which animal we identify with -- Lion, Golden Retriever, Otter or Beaver. If you get a chance, head over to the website and take the quiz for yourself, the results are so accurate it's crazy!
The idea here is that many times, opposites seem to attract and there is a reason for that. Husbands and Wives, we are supposed to be a team right? So we are supposed to compliment each other. Most times, our opposite attributes tend to frustrate one another but once we can get a better understanding of our partner's personality type, we can use our differences to make the most of our relationships... as in, "use powers for good and not evil".
In the personality test, I found out I am a "Beaver" while my husband is an "Otter". I can totally relate to the traits of the beaver. I am kind of Type A-- I like things done in a very specific, organized manner... this has really gotten me far as a student and in my professional life... but in relationships it can get a little intense. Okay, okay, A LOT intense. It annoys me when people say things like "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" or "let it happen naturally". I see that as laziness and people with this philosophy just seem unmotivated or disinterested to me. I'm a planner, I
make lists, I obsess over the details... it drives my husband crazy! Here are the traits of the beaver:
task-oriented
worker
orderly/organized
neat
scheduled
serious
quiet
talented
musical
artistic
intense
creative
like to research
good student
high standards
hard on themselves
can get depressed easily
avoid noise and confusion
A lot of these really stand out to me! Both the strengths and weaknesses of these traits. It's especially true that I do not like noise or confusion, am hard on myself and can get easily depressed. When in large gatherings or parties, I tend to retreat to a quieter area and tune out the rest. I love to have fun and love people but it can overwhelm me after a while. I do not like being the center of attention. I'm a perfectionist and I chase my goals carrying them out exactly as I envision them. No one is harder on me than ME. I research anything and everything, I am artistic in the musical and literary sense (can't draw or paint for beans) and very task oriented.
My husband is the Otter. He is opposite in that he is usually the more playful, fun, life of the party kind of guy. He doesn't mind being the center of attention, he is very social and outgoing. His views on things are much more care-free and light. Here are the traits of the Otter:
worker
orderly/organized
neat
scheduled
serious
quiet
talented
musical
artistic
intense
creative
like to research
good student
high standards
hard on themselves
can get depressed easily
avoid noise and confusion
A lot of these really stand out to me! Both the strengths and weaknesses of these traits. It's especially true that I do not like noise or confusion, am hard on myself and can get easily depressed. When in large gatherings or parties, I tend to retreat to a quieter area and tune out the rest. I love to have fun and love people but it can overwhelm me after a while. I do not like being the center of attention. I'm a perfectionist and I chase my goals carrying them out exactly as I envision them. No one is harder on me than ME. I research anything and everything, I am artistic in the musical and literary sense (can't draw or paint for beans) and very task oriented.
My husband is the Otter. He is opposite in that he is usually the more playful, fun, life of the party kind of guy. He doesn't mind being the center of attention, he is very social and outgoing. His views on things are much more care-free and light. Here are the traits of the Otter:
playful
love people
love attention
life of the party
fun loving
hate isolation
love to entertain
love to talk
energetic
disorganized
For me, it means that he is disorganized and that is a criminal offense in the world of April. On my birthday he planned a get together and didn't even bother buying paper ware or plastic cutlery. We cut the cake and he realized "oh, there are no paper plates" and it was no big deal. He would have a good time regardless while I agonized over the travesty of it all. In all honesty, I wish I was a lot more like my husband... he is optimistic and seems to always have peace in even the most uncertain circumstances. And I don't mean denial either! Some people claim to be optimists but they just ignore reality and he isn't at all like that.
love people
love attention
life of the party
fun loving
hate isolation
love to entertain
love to talk
energetic
disorganized
For me, it means that he is disorganized and that is a criminal offense in the world of April. On my birthday he planned a get together and didn't even bother buying paper ware or plastic cutlery. We cut the cake and he realized "oh, there are no paper plates" and it was no big deal. He would have a good time regardless while I agonized over the travesty of it all. In all honesty, I wish I was a lot more like my husband... he is optimistic and seems to always have peace in even the most uncertain circumstances. And I don't mean denial either! Some people claim to be optimists but they just ignore reality and he isn't at all like that.
The personality test and the talk we had at our marriage connection group was really helpful and I'm really glad we did it. I'm learning so much more about myself and becoming a better me a little more every day.
Overall, I'm learning to appreciate our differences as we balance each other out a little more. I'm grateful for how far we have come in our relationship and hopeful for many, many years of wedded bliss ahead :)
So... which animal are you?
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