The Layers 2

Prelude - Impossible Layers 

Multifaceted, multi-colored, blended so well together that the pigments are invisible... a dot of disappointment, a spec of joy, a blotch of anger, a splash of mistakes... the layers come together over the course of time. The layers bleed across the surface and form one colorful mess of a situation. Each dot, spec, blotch that forms can almost always be prevented... but once the layers form, they can be difficult to break apart again.

The sadness, the despair ... the downright confusion that is caused by the layers can almost always be prevented. But we usually don't prevent them do we? Maybe we don't even realize that this tiny spec of anger, this insignificant piece of doubt will begin to run down the pages of our lives and bleed together with other tiny instances and form these impossible layers.

But I'm not only talking about the layers that come from the situations and circumstances in our lives...and how we handle them, sure...  I'm talking about the layers of ME.. the layers of YOU..  the things that have come together to make who I am - the layers that make me tread lightly, fall hard, love deeply, give sacrificially, act selfishly.. the layers that sometimes even contradict each other and pull me in different directions.

The layers that make me want to be different people at times..  each one having a different piece to the puzzle of my personality. The clumsy girl, the introvert, the performer, the writer, the jokester, the dork, the friend, the lover, the relentless fighter... the dreamer.

The layers, they are just me.

I'm not Normal ...

Recent pic on my Instagram :)

Lately, I've been struggling with the three words in my title... "I'm Not Normal." Have you ever felt that way? Maybe in a particular circumstance or season of life? Well, I have always, always, felt that way... and I am starting to really question why.

I remember being in second grade and sitting at a lunch table with my classmates. I had a moment of feeling so displaced ... "I am not like these other kids" I had thought to myself... and it was bad, it was so bad. Second grade, can you imagine that?

The feeling of being different and not quite knowing why is pretty tough as a kid. I always thought that it was because of the bad things in my life... a Dad with alcoholism, parents with a tumultuous marriage, the constant moving from place to place and school to school. I was different and it wasn't good. How could being different be a good thing? I just want to be normal.

Eventually, as things in my life started to iron out - a move across country (permanently), my mom found the courage to move on, I found my faith and relationship with Christ, I was able to heal from so many of the negative things in my past... but ya know what? I still continued to feel "not normal."

And don't get me wrong, I had friends, I had great relationships... God really came through for me. He gave me a father figure and stability and I was happy... but normal? No, I was not normal.

I guess my question is -- who is normal? Are you? I have always wondered if there are people who feel completely part of the group and never singled out for any reason.

Since my Grandfather passed away, I have started to really focus in on my purpose in life. Why am I here? I think I know now... and I don't really know what to do with that information. I am scared you guys... and I am excited and I am overwhelmed ...

Oh, and I'm sorry! LOL I'm sorry if this is not clear or if I am rambling on but writing is my therapy so here I am. I told you I wasn't normal !!

That's all for now... I love you my readers... I count on your prayers as I figure this out.

XO,

I Heart Local Business: A Restaurant Review

I went to business school (Fordham University CBA) and while I can't say that joining corporate America is my "calling", I can say that my education and business experience (I've worked in advertising for 8 years) has given me certain roots in organizational leadership and the passion for making things better. While I am still trying to figure out how to blend career with calling and use my talents to "make things better" I am extremely grateful and supportive of organizations that start with one person's idea to simply -- make things better.

I love small businesses and as a consumer, I make an effort to support local restaurants and shops by choosing them over a big chain. I think it is important for so many reasons... especially because I live in the Bronx and it is the 1 borough in New York City that is so underrated. People always seem so surprised when I tell them I live in a safe, family oriented, awesome neighborhood. Morris Park in the Bronx is a great place to live! Playground, public library, lots of local shops and .. RESTAURANTS. Really, really good restaurants I might add.

A new burger shop opened up in the area called "The Stand" and my husband and I could not wait to try it! Our first visit did not really go so well and because I really do care about local business, I followed up with a review on their Facebook page. I hoped that this was an isolated incident and said as much in my review. To my delight, the owner of The Stand immediately contacted me via Facebook.  To help make the situation right and keep me as a customer, the owner offered me and a guest a complimentary meal.  I immediately decided to give it another chance and brought my camera along this time to post a new review:

I got the classic cheeseburger with cheese fries, chicken strips for Aiden and bacon cheeseburger for the hubster :)

Seriously guys, it was cooked to perfection!

It really meant a lot to me that the owner invited me for a free meal... it showed that my business meant something to them and I thought it was really cool of them to do that. I have to say, that I do not regret giving The Stand a second chance. The food was divine and the service was great! The staff is friendly and helpful and I love the overall "feel" of the place:

Really fun vibe in decor

Front of the restaurant

Front counter

Would I go back to The Stand? Absolutely! And I will... many, many times! I am so glad this place is in my neighborhood!  So.. if you are in Morris Park, Trust me when I say -- GO TO THE STAND! You won't be disappointed :)

Crappy

You'll have to forgive me if I am not in an inspirational mood today. My perspective is a little different and this is all about the good AND the bad so here it goes:

How crappy does it feel when someone is your friend and supports you only when in their eyes you are doing "the right thing"? Do the wrong thing though.. and their support is pulled out from underneath you because strings were always attached to their friendship anyway.

How crappy does it feel when you are in a very difficult life moment and someone turns their back on you?

How crappy does it feel when you are about to jump off the ledge and rather than "talk you down", someone just gives you a good, hard, kick?!

How crappy does it feel when you know you have made a mistake and someone verbally and emotionally abuses you because they can't get over their own disappointment and think for a second about how you must be feeling?

I'll tell you... it feels supremely, utterly, enormously, CRAPPY.

If you want to be a judge, go to freakin law school and invest in a gavel... otherwise, LEARN HOW TO LOVE because I guarantee you will find yourself in a position one day, where you will need to cash in on some love and support in your darkest times.

End of rant. We can now resume our regularly scheduled programming and be inspirational and positive for the remainder of the day.

*curtsey*

Perspective

per·spec·tive  

/pərˈspektiv/

Noun

A picture drawn in such a way, esp. one appearing to enlarge or extend the actual space, or to give the effect of distance.

I've always loved the arts... I love to spend my time immersed in music, theater and literature. I love a good story and whether I am listening to a favorite song or reading an exciting book, it's all about the good stories. That's probably why I love to write.. I need to write... because there's always a story to tell. While I appreciate fine art and love to visit museums to look at paintings and drawings, I have no artistic talent whatsoever. Just ask my Sunday School students -- I am known for silly stick-figures. 

I have to admit that drawing and painting is something I've always wished I could do. When I think about perspective, I actually envy artists. The ability to paint a picture in such a way that actually changes the way the eye will view it... I think that is an amazing ability. I wish I could pick up a pencil and do that... I wish I could change perspective not just on paper, but in life. 

Because really... it's all about your perspective isn't it? Whether you choose to count your hardships or count your blessings, whether the glass is half full or half empty, your own personal vista of the world and life around you. Vista... I think that will be my word for 2013.

There is a God who loves me...

Grace like rain ... I can dance in it, I can play in it, I am constantly washed with it.. Hallelujah!

 I have an unconditionally loving partnership with the world's best husband... 

I have a small, tight circle of friends who support me even in my darkest hours... 

I have a roof over my head, a warm blanket to hide under at night, and food on my table... 

I have a job in this crazy economy and a generous employer who God has used to supply all my needs... 

I have coffee... every day.... yes, it is a big deal. 

I have a happy, healthy little boy who is home safe...

I simply cannot find the strength to write an entire blog post about this, but when reading about the devastating loss of 20 BABIES in Connecticut this week, I find it hard to complain about any of my own hardships. This weekend I got to ride the carousel with my baby. He lit up as soon as he saw the thing... he was so happy! After his ride he got a stamp on his hand of a horse and even now (days later) he runs up to show it to me with pride. What a blessing that I am able to enjoy my sweet, innocent, perfect little baby. My heart is heavy and I am praying for those parents who have had to say goodbye to their babies. 

Even as I face some of the hardest times I've ever had to, as I cry and try to pick up the pieces of so much brokenness,  I simply cannot change my perspective..

My perspective... my vista...  life is pretty blessed... pretty full... pretty amazing and I won't stop feeling grateful for it. Through it all, I am glad to have some perspective because there are so many reasons to smile.

XO,

Impossible Layers

Have you ever gotten to the point where sadness constantly lingers and your heart aches but you can't pinpoint exactly why? I'll tell you why... it's the layers...

And when I say layers, I mean the events, the words, the actions that hurt and were then buried over time... in hopes that they would go away but they don't. They build, one on top of the other like the sedimentation of rock and minerals at the earth's surface. The result is a strong, sturdy bed of rock that although looks and feels like one solid piece... was actually built in layers.

Impossible layers...  layers that have come together so well and you can't figure out how to break them apart. Layers that overwhelm and confuse you to the point where it just doesn't feel worth it to get out of bed in the morning. Sadness is all about the layers.

I was reading the bible this morning because these layers are just impossible. The only thing that has a fighting chance of penetrating them are the very words of God himself. The words that are quick, powerful, sharper than a two-edged sword that pierces into the dividing asunder of the soul and spirit...  piercing...the very thought of that piercing is like a rope slowly being lowered into a hole of blackness. That powerful, sharp piercing that can make it through even the most impossible of layers.

Maybe they aren't so impossible after all...

 Matthew 19:26 - Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Free Haircut - shortest of my life!

I just needed to quickly take to my blog because today I got a SHORT haircut!  It was part of a class being offered for hairstylists at the L'Oreal studio in Soho. I saw a Facebook post a few weeks ago, that the studio was looking for hair models. You basically volunteer to come sit, let a stylist go scissor happy on your hair and in return you get a free haircut and a goodie bag of products. I sent my picture in to be considered and what do you know... they picked me!

It's kind of silly because I was conflicted about this all weekend. I have never had my hair shorter than my shoulders and I just knew they were going to want to go short with it. I've always wanted to try a shorter style but have never had the guts to go above the shoulder.

The instructor of the class was very convincing... very British... and very fabulous. He basically went around to each hair model and informed us what type of style would go with our face. He terrified me! LOL

But I decided that if I signed on for this experience, I would go with the flow and let them do their thing. I  had an amazing stylist who was from Philadelphia and he made me feel very comfortable. He kept asking me throughout my haircut "are you okay?" because I continued to fidget nervously in the chair as he snipped away.

It took about 3 hours which was annoying but overall, a really, really, fun experience and I would so do it again! I love my haircut too! 

Shameless self pic in the bathroom =)

 I am signed up to their mailing list for future events... interested? Hit me up!

Happy Monday people!

The truth is never easy

Ya know, I am far from perfect... and at times, I am far from honorable, or good.... but there is one thing I simply have never been able to stray too far from... the truth.

I have always been true to who I am and true to how I feel. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, I don't pretend anything actually. Pretending is just too hard and I don't honestly understand why people do it. Why sweep things under the rug and pretend that everything is dandelions? That kind of life must be exhausting. I just can't do it. And honestly, I find it very difficult to respect people who do. Scratch that, I DO NOT respect or trust people who do. Sorry.

The truth is never easy... and I get why sometimes we just don't want to face it. But sitting down and speaking truthfully (though painful as it might be at times) is a stepping stone to something even better - to wholeness. And isn't being whole... and I don't mean being "civil" or being "courteous" I mean being truly whole again... isn't being whole so much better?

I may be a lot of things.. and trust me, I am not always good things... but fake... fake is NEVER one of them.   The truth is never easy.... but easier is not always better. Actually, it hardly ever is.

~A

Babies: The New Fashion Accessory?

ac·ces·so·ry/akˈses(ə)rē/

A thing that can be added to something else in order to make it more useful, versatile, or attractive.

In a society that values appearance and how much of something we have, it can be very easy to get caught up in the need for more. We want all the latest and greatest accessories to add to our lives because everyone else has them too! From gadgets, to fashion, to homes, to cars, to .... even babies? 

Lately, it feels like babies are the hottest new accessory and I simply cannot find all the words that describe how uncool with that I am. Pregnancy and babies are all over in the media - celebrity babies are constantly on magazine covers and the whole "getting pregnant and having a baby" thing is glorified to the umpteenth power. Now, please don't get me wrong - having a baby is a beautiful, amazing, glorious thing but it almost feels like it is also the TRENDY thing to do. When did the decision to bring a human being into the world become a trend? 

Some popular celebrity baby magazine covers 

 And please, again, don't get me wrong - these celebrities have the right to celebrate their babies... by all means, go ahead and celebrate! But could this be a fad? Could it be that babies are popular right now, celebrities are interesting so 1+1 equals a gazillion magazines sold?  People even has a whole section of their magazine called celebrity babies where you can see who is due next in a handy dandy calendar. I mean, come on people!

My problem with this - is just like any "must have" accessory that is splashed all over magazine covers, young women everywhere are falling for it and caving into the pressure to get pregnant BEFORE THEY ARE READY. 

Parenting is a lifetime responsibility... the decision to bring a child into this world that you will be providing for - a child who needs to eat (whether you have eaten or not), needs an education (whether you have one or not), needs healthcare (whether you have sick days or not), needs a roof (whether you have a place of your own or not) and unconditional love (whether you are having a good day or not) is a heavy decision to make! 

When I found out I was pregnant, I had been married for almost three years... I was in a healthy, thriving marriage Thank GOD with a wonderful man who works hard and is intelligent and responsible. I had my college degree, I had a stable job, I had a good support system --- I was terrified and did not feel ready.  My plan was to wait until I had been married 5 years, to travel, to do a few things first but Aiden was coming regardless. 

Aiden has been the most wonderful surprise of my life... he is better than any plan I have ever made and then some... but parenting is hard, hard work. I  have not slept an entire night in 14 months, I have a little person who constantly needs me, and I hardly ever get a moment to myself. Sometimes I cry out of exhaustion and my mommy friends can all attest. It ain't easy! 

I wish that teenagers and young people who read magazines would really think about the severity of becoming a parent before deciding to do so. Being pregnant is "so cute" and babies are treated almost like little dolls and it truly sickens me. I know that sounds severe but when I am constantly hearing news of pregnancies and babies...I can't help but wonder - "do they know how hard it is?" 

Getting prepared for a baby is more than buying a pack-n-play and diaper genie. Getting prepared means being emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially ready to take on this huge responsibility. The biggest job of your life! Being married and self-sustaining, I have found it to be the hardest (and yes, most rewarding) thing I have ever attempted. I could not imagine doing it without a supportive partner, without an income, without a drinking age ID card! 

Disclaimer: I know that teen pregnancies happen... I know many amazing young women (some of my own relatives) who have come up strong from a teen pregnancy, who have been successful, outstanding mothers and have learned from the experience. This is not what I am referring to in this blog post. I am talking about young girls who intentionally make the decision to get pregnant because it is the trendy thing to do.This also does not only apply to teenagers.

There are so many things that can fill our lives... that can be added to our lives (accessories) to make us have a more rich life experience. But a baby? No, a baby is NOT an accessory. Think about it people, please... just think about it. 

On a lighter note -- No, he is not a fashion accessory but he is cute huh?! LOL

Sounding Off: Ask me what I REALLY think about "Attachment Parenting"

Recently, TIME Magazine had a story about Dr. Sears and attachment parenting... you know the story, the one with "the cover" showing a mom breastfeeding her three year old son while standing on a stool. The image has been plastered everywhere but just in case you haven't seen it..

I read the article and it is not only about breastfeeding but "attachment parenting". Breastfeeding is one aspect of the attachment parenting method and it is obvious why they chose to play up this particular part of it. My friend Quiana recently posted a blog titled "Are you Gullible Enough" which really hit the nail on the head as far as describing what my feelings were about the cover. For weeks I've just been sharing her post and did not want to get into anything here on my blog... but those days are over folks!

Recently, Anderson Cooper had famous moms Rebbecca Romijn and Mayim Bialik on his show to discuss this cover and attachment parenting. I thought his show was very informative and it really brought to light the misconceptions about both sides of the "mommy wars" this cover has sparked. So what is attachment parenting? According to Dr. Sears' website, it is practicing the "7 Bs" -- Birth Bonding, Breastfeeding, Baby-wearing, Bedding Close by, Beware of Baby Trainers and Balance. Sounds simple enough right? Wrong! Moms everywhere are going nuts over this thing called attachment parenting.

Here's what I think -- labels.. I truly hate labels. Why do we as a society feel like we need to label everything and store it neatly in air-tight containers? Especially when it comes to parenting, this is just impossible! I happen to love Dr. Sears' website and it has been an incredibly useful resource for me since I was pregnant with Aiden but by no means do I put myself in the "attachment parenting" category. I am just a mom who tries to follow her instincts and make informed decisions for my son.  I read, I research, and at the end of the day I do what I FEEL is right for us. Sometimes, that includes aspects of the attachment parenting method and sometimes it does not.

I recently was having a conversation with someone and she chose to make some ignorant comments and pass some pretty mean judgments about my son. Nothing makes you "see red" as a mother more than when someone is speaking negatively about your child and/or your parenting method. Why do people feel they need to tell moms what they are doing wrong and more importantly, why do they need to make it a competition? You get to raise your kids, and I get to raise mine.

Yea, that's right I AM Mom Enough!

That is exactly what TIME magazine did with this cover -- "Are you Mom Enough?" They made it a competition about how to be the better mom and the sad thing is that moms all over the country fell right into that trap. The picture itself is very misleading about breastfeeding a toddler. The way his hands are dropped down to his sides, his facial expression and the awkward position he is standing in do not correctly represent extended breastfeeding in my opinion. I also think that the way the camera is angled, the way he is standing on that stool and even the clothes he is wearing were all intentionally done to make him look even older than he is.  He is 3 years old!

For me, I cannot see myself breastfeeding Aiden at 3 years old. My hope is to be completely done with it by his 2nd birthday and that is not because I think it is weird or gross... I simply feel that I selfishly want my boobs back.. I want some freedom, some space and it really is a decision that is all about ME rather than Aiden. And I am OKAY with that. I want to do what is best for him but I will not be a martyr mom either. Sometimes I will do what is best for ME too. Other moms feel just fine with breastfeeding well beyond the 2nd birthday and that is just wonderful in my opinion! There are so many benefits to both mother and baby with extended breastfeeding and if you still think that is crazy than you haven't done enough reading. The longer a mom can breastfeed, the better and baby-led weaning is actually proven to be the more natural, beneficial route. I hope Aiden weans himself but if it doesn't happen by the time he is 2, there will be some "mommy-led" weaning. Ha!

So here's what I REALLY think about the different aspects of attachment parenting:

1) Drug free birth -- Personally, I think it is kind of insane that women put so much pressure on themselves to labor completely free of pain medication. If men were the ones who gave birth this would never be an issue.. they would take the drugs! But us women, we are a different story. I say, if you can have a drug free birth and feel that is right for you, then go for it! But if you (like me) want to get an epidural, then take care of YOU mama! Delivering vaginally was more important to me than going drug free so at 2am when I was in so much and needed sleep, I got that heavenly epidural. I got some much needed shut-eye and in a few hours I was well rested and ready for the 2 hours of pushing (yes, that's right I had to push for 2 hours) it would take to deliver my child. I truly believe that had I not rested, I would have not had the strength and ultimately been taking in for C-section. I AM GLAD I got the epidural and I would do it again.

2) Breastfeeding -- this has truly been the best experience of my life and my proudest accomplishment. It was not easy and there are so many times I wanted to quit. For something so natural, it is also very, very difficult to get the hang of... I really think that every mom should at least try it and really commit for the first several weeks to trying.  Breast milk is the ideal food for babies, not man-made formula. Babies find the best possible nourishment and also comfort at the breast. Comfort in my opinion is just as important as nutrition so I do not agree with taking that comfort away from an infant who requires it. We value independence as a society way too much in my opinion. Infants are dependent on their mothers .. toddlers too... and small children... why the rush to make them independent? to make them self-soothe? I truly believe that they will learn that naturally and with time and most importantly at their own pace! Aiden will one day not need me for comfort but I do not think that I need to rush him. 13 months, we are still breastfeeding and I am okay with that.

3) Sleeping arrangements -- Mammals sleep close to one another. This goes again with what I stated above about independence. Every child is different, every child has different needs and the best I can say here is -- follow your instincts. I will not put my child down to sleep and let him cry in a room alone. Does that make him spoiled? Again, if you want to label it then go ahead... but I am confident that if he is nurtured and comforted in the way he needs to be, he will eventually grow to be a strong, independent person. He won't be 18 years old and sleeping with me and Daddy..  co-sleeping facilities breastfeeding and I personally could not do one without the other. Wake up, turn the light on, walk across the hall and breastfeed in the middle of the night? NO WAY.. with co-sleeping I barely need to open my eyes to get feedings done. This arrangement benefits us both.

4) Baby-wearing -- I love wearing Aiden in his Moby wrap.. I love cruising him around in his stroller. I don't think wearing him in a sling constantly is necessary and I certainly put him down when he was newborn. I picked him up, snuggled, him, let him sleep on my chest and all that good stuff but I also put him down. Now that he is walking, he doesn't want to be held period ("Give me freedom!!") and we love that about him. That kid will not be confined!  I think the idea of wearing your baby in a sling while doing household chores for example is kind of unnecessary unless of course your baby is hysterical when you put him/her down. Then, I totally get it. Aiden has had moments where he does not want to be put down and rather than let him scream his head off, I will pick  him up. I believe in acknowledging his needs and responding to them. It may not be the biggest dilemma in the world but in HIS WORLD it is the biggest thing. I'm going to give that the attention it deserves. I hope I can continue to give him that when he gets made fun of at school, when he doesn't get picked for a team, and when he goes through his first heart break.

5) Gentle Discipline -- we aren't really there yet with discipline because a 13 month old just isn't ready to be disciplined but we are starting to teach him about certain boundaries. I want him to know he is safe and that boundaries are necessary to keep him safe. I want to MODEL good behavior so that things like "saying please and thank you" are second nature to him. I do not play to tell him to "sit down and shut up" nor do I plan to spank him. I do not see how hitting a child teaches him not to hit others and I know for a fact that hitting children leaves emotional wounds that last well into adulthood. I cannot tell you the number of  adults I have spoken to, who recount stories of being hit as a child and the pain (emotionally) that is caused them. I realize this is controversial and I am not saying that all spanking is child abuse, but I just know so many people who have told me their story of a "spanking" gone too far. I think adults need to learn to be adults and deal with their frustrations...not expect a child to bear the burden of those frustrations.  Discipline is about learning and as Aiden gets older I know we will figure out a gentle form of discipline that works for us.

6) Balance -- Last but not least! I think this is the key point here. Parenting is about learning how to balance... you read and you get advice and you observe the needs of your child and then you put all of that information through a giant filter and work out what is best for YOUR child. No one knows your child better than you and Mrs. Smith from down the block may swear to you that "if you just get him used to it" or "if you keep trying" that your child will adapt and conform to what you want him to do... but YOU as the parent know better. You know your child's personality, you know your own needs, and you know the culture of your family.  If your child is a heavy sleeper, then go ahead and take him out for errands while he naps on the go, if your child is a light sleeper, then go ahead and give him a quiet place to sleep. Don't forget about your needs as a mom, don't forget to take some time for yourself and don't worry about what other people think.

No matter what TIME magazine says, or what Dr. Sears says, or what Mrs. Smith from down the block says...  YOU ARE MOM ENOUGH and so am I :)  So there it is folks.... what I really think about some hot topics in the mommy world lately. Your thoughts/comments are always welcome!

My Mother's Day!!

 I am going to make this post short and sweet but I needed to write about my Mother's Day! I enjoyed a Guatemalan breakfast and a beautiful church service. I got gorgeous flowers from my hubby and adorable paper flowers at church. I got an awesome Android Tablet from my Mommy and new Converse from my hubby.  I spent the day surrounded by LOVE... it was amazing.

Here are the top 10 reasons my Mother's Day was PERFECTION:


1) Because I woke up late (9:30am) to smells of freshly brewed coffee and a yummy breakfast being prepared... to a baby who had been changed and was playing happily.

2) Because a good friend stood over the night before and we stood up chit-chatting until 2am. She was the maker of the yummy breakfast on Mother's Day morning.

3) Because my amazing, hero of a man woke up early with the baby and kept him occupied and entertained while I caught some much needed Z's.

4) Because that same man got me beautiful flowers, a heartfelt card and a new pair of converse! God bless him for knowing the way to my heart.

5) Because I got all dolled up for church and spent the morning worshiping my savior and hanging with my extraordinary church family.

6) Because I spent the evening with my sweet boy, and my beautiful mother and grandmother. We had a wonderful visit!

7) Because I got so many thoughtful, warm wishes from friends and family ... and they all made me feel so loved and appreciated.

8) Because I spent the day EXACTLY the way my heart desired. Around amazing people who lift me up, encourage me as a mother, and constantly bless me with their positive words and genuine care.

9) Because I had a day that was care free.. for that I thank my husband who took all my cares into his hands and let me do whatever would make me happy.

10) Because I chose to not care about anyone's expectations for just one day. I did what I wanted and what I felt was sincere. I just LET GO of all worries and things "I need to do" or people "I need to see"... I did exactly what I wanted and it felt sooooo good.

AND those are the ten reasons why I had the perfect Mother's Day. Sadly, I did not take any pictures because I was too busy having an awesome day. I know that makes me a bad blogger, sorry friends!

I hope all the Mommies had an amazing day too - it isn't an easy job and you are all so loved and appreciated!!

XO,

I'm NOT a "shoe girl"...

Most of my blogging tends to cover topics like - marriage/babies/family, spirituality, friendship, current events, literature, film, and the occasional (not so occasional) rant about whatever frustrates me at the moment. Blogging is an excellent way to just get things off my chest or work through something I am pondering ... lately, I have not had much time to take to my blog and for those who follow and have missed me - I apologize! I have been very, very busy with work and with life and I have not had a moment to sit down and write about life. So I am making some time right now and guess what kind of post I have for ya? It is a post about SHOES. I know, I know, I hardly ever write about fashion except for saying that I wish someone would nominate me to be on "What Not to Wear" (Go ahead, sign me up I won't be offended)

Thing is, I am really not very fashionable... I don't have "a style", I just kind of wear what makes me feel comfortable. I have had some of my clothes for far too long and since I fluctuate so much between sizes 2-4-6-8 (who do we appreciate!!) nothing seems to fit me properly. This is why I DREAM of being on What Not to Wear. I want Stacy and Clinton to make me throw out all the crap in my closet and really set me straight. After my pregnancy, I have lost a bunch of weight and am actually thinner than I was pre-pregnancy so now I have no idea what to do. I have a bunch of old clothes and nothing really fits right. I need about 5 pairs of new jeans at least and thanks to breastfeeding, most of my tops are stretched out so it is time for a whole new wardrobe.



Since I don't have that kind of money, I have decided to slowly purge my closet of items that are just plain useless and buy a couple key things that might make me feel better. I will try to update on how that is going since I completely lack fashion sense but when going through my closet last night, I realized that even OLDER and outdated than my clothes are... MY SHOES!

I am just not a shoe girl... most women I know just LOVE to buy shoes and I actually kind of dread it. I don't enjoy the process of trying shoes on and pairing them with outfits.. and most of all, I hate to be uncomfortable in my shoes and it seems like the only shoes that are pretty are the uncomfortable ones. I inherited the "bad feet jean" from my grandmother and have always struggled with pain in my feet. I've got no arch (flat) feet and that has caused a bunch of other issues and I really, really just wish I can go barefoot.

For someone who prefers comfortable shoes you would think that I live in sneaks right? WRONG. I also do not like sneakers. Most sneakers just feel so heavy on my feet but more than that, I was raised wearing dresses/skirts every single day and never really felt like sneakers went with my dresses. This was before I discovered how much I love Converse sneakers which I think totally go with dresses. I still regret not wearing a pair of sparkly Converse slip-ons for my wedding.

I have a shoe dilemma don't I? but please, don't get it wrong - I DO WEAR SHOES. Here are some of my favorites:

Ballet flats! I actually have a polka dot pair just like these from J.Crew 

Loafers! I have a really cute navy pair from Delia's that I love

Gladiator Sandals - I have a few pairs in different colors 

My 2nd favorite type of footwear... FLIP FLOPS! I mean, come on, they are so easy and I love getting all colors from Old Navy. 

As you can see... comfort is  my main thing when it comes to shoes... so if flip-flops are my second favorite type of footwear, what is my first?? I'm surprised you haven't guessed it by now ---

UGGS!!! I don't care if you think they look ugly.. lol.. they are cute. Recently Victoria Beckham said she would never be caught wearing Uggs in public and I wanted to send her all kinds of hate mail. Listen Victoria, they are comfy and functional and lots of beautiful ladies wear them. 

Megan Fox.. yep, that is the hot chic from Transformers

SJP! Can you say "Sex and the City"??

Tina Fey - there is no one cooler than her

So now let me get back to the reason I started writing this post. I just bought myself a new pair of shoes and I THINK they might soon take a place in April's top 3 choices for footwear. They are comfy, they are adorable and they are available in all colors. They are the perfect "non-shoe girl" shoe and I am so excited...

TOM's! I ordered a black pair

I will test these Tom's shoes out and see how they measure up but so far it is looking good!

My Birthday: the first recap of many!

I have had no time to blog! There is so much going on in this little life of mine that I am just dying to write about... I wish I could just put the universe on hold for a while and finish up all of the drafted blog posts in my queue. Now that I am over my birthday and Easter, I am on full out - 1st Birthday planning mode for Aiden. We have two weeks! But before that, let me fill you in on how my birthday went... I will hopefully post about Easter too because it was AMAZING but that will take a completely separate post. By the time I get to that, Aiden's party will probably have passed and I will also include a recap of that. So I guess, instead of blogging in real time I will be the "Recap Queen" for the next few weeks. Not my first choice, but I'll do my best. Here is the first recap of many:

My Birthday
I turned the big 2-7 on April 1st! Yes, that is April Fools day *insert joke here* ... can we move on now? ready? LOL okay... so I had a really, really fun birthday. I had really specific ideas about how I wanted to celebrate this year. Last year I was very, very pregnant and only my husband's sneakers fit me. Needless to say I did not want to go out dancing.

I did want to meet up with some friends - specifically my female friends because those relationships have grown to mean so much to me. I have had lots of ups and downs in my friendships and have learned a ton about myself for it. My beautiful friend Lacy organized a little birthday brunch for me at her place and we went out for manis and pedis. The husbands stood home!  We had cupcakes, scones, egg bake, bagels.. it was so yummy! Lacy is super creative and she really did her best to make the day special for me. She is also a super talented person all around so I didn't expect anything less than AWESOME. Check out Lacy's website here.

The coolest part about this for me - all of the girls in my life were able to make it. I have been friends with many of them for a while and it has been a goal of mine to get all these ladies together.. I was so happy it finally happened. A few of the girls really seemed to hit it off which was great. I sat in the room and had so many "aha" moments... There is so much love around me and I am so, so, so, grateful for it. It was a really fun time!

Since my birthday fell on a Sunday this year I would spend the actual day with my church family  and then with my family in the evening.  My husband brought a cake to church and I was surprised with the whole church singing Happy Birthday to me. I really, really love my church family so it was so appropriate to spend my birthday with them.

On Sunday evening we went to my mom's for dinner. She got me beautiful flowers and my aunt came over and cooked my favorite foods. I got another cake there and it was just a very relaxing night with the family.

Overall, I had a great birthday - check out some pics from my girlfriends brunch below:

Lacy's Apartment all decorated for ME.. Thank you friend.

Those are chocolate cupcakes w/ blackberry frosting and homemade blueberry scones!

Thank you all so much for being there for me!

Never Easy

Mondays are like a car that has been sitting out in freezing temperatures for two days and then suddenly, a key is turned and the car is started and warming up is going to take a while... and nothing is ever easy.

Birthdays are like a cake that has been baking in the oven for almost the right amount of time. If you pull it out too soon it won't be very good, if you pull it out too late it won't be good either...  it has to come out at just the right time to be satisfying, warm, ready to eat cake and somehow that never quite happens. The cake is usually good, edible, acceptable.. but not exactly as it should be. Nothing is ever easy.

Careers are like a huge shelf full of books - different genres, different stories and sometimes one is the best you've ever read and other times it is another. I guess the problem is that I cannot pick just one. Fiction and Memoir and Biography - I love them all and I cannot live without any of them.  I am good at reading all of these and I am good at doing many things. Today I can find healthy challenges and fulfillment in my career and tomorrow I could be bored out of my mind.  Nothing is ever easy.

Parenting is like your favorite roller coaster at the theme park. You get on and feel the biggest rush you have ever felt. You laugh so hard that you cry and you are so in the moment that nothing preceding or following that ride even matters. Then suddenly, that very same roller coaster that brought you such joy makes you sick to your stomach and your world is spinning and you just need to lay down... just lay down for a second.. because it just isn't easy.

Marriage is like the huge mansion on the hill that you pass by and wonder about day after day. You see the huge pillars, the breathtaking fountain in the front garden, the stone pathway to the front door and the bay windows. You wonder about the parties and formal dinners they must have inside... You wish that this was your house and you would call the butler for everything you needed and request your favorite meals from the cook.. But then you get inside that mansion to find that there are just rooms like any other house.. and that even all of the extra amenities can't make you happy. That there is still work to be done - beds to be made and knick-knacks to be dusted... so maybe this big mansion isn't going to make you happy at all... because nothing is ever easy.

And maybe I just want things to be perfect and that is really my own problem... but just one time, if only for today, I would just like something to be easy.

Ta-Ta,

When art conveys emotions better than words...

Yep! That about sums it up...

Mompetition & Stupid Comments

What is it with moms and this whole "mompetition" thing? I get that it is helpful to compare notes and it feels great to have some support from other women who understand, but why can't people just accept that every child, every mom, every family has to do what works for them and that is just fine?  It really grinds my gears when another mom talks about her baby and her way of doing things like it is doctrine or something.

It can just be really discouraging to hear certain comments... and it can be difficult to not let myself get sucked in to thinking or feeling like I am not doing the right thing as a mom. Today, my co-worker boastfully told me that at bedtime, she "gives her 4 month old a kiss, lays him in his crib, turns out the light and walks away."  Then she added that he sleeps through the entire night and if he cries, she just lets him CIO (cry it out) until he falls back to sleep on his own. "If you keep letting him sleep in your bed, he will never leave" she told me... "He is almost 1, aren't you going to stop breastfeeding now?"  Ohhhh and my favorite "Don't you think it's gross when women keep breastfeeding up until 18 months?!"

Aiden is almost 11 months old now and personally, I think he is doing great. He is so smart and physically strong. He is cruising all over the apartment using the walls to hold on to... I know he is going to start walking very soon. He can do the sign for "milk" and he also says a few words: Mama, Dada, Up, No, among others. He eats all different types of foods and he drinks water from a cup. He loves to dance and he loves to play "mama's gonna get you" and run away from me. He gives kisses (besitos) and hugs (tantos) and he is just a super happy, smart, and loving baby. I am so proud to be his Mama and I am blessed with other mom friends who celebrate these things with me...as I celebrate their kids with them and we encourage each other... so why do some moms feel the need to try and rain on my parade?

The sleeping thing has been honestly the hardest part of my last year as a new mom. I thought for sure that my baby would be sleeping through the night by now... but he isn't and honestly, I don't know how close we are to that.

Ever since he was 3 months old, I tried to establish a bedtime routine. He gets a warm bath, a massage with lotion, PJ's on and then we sit in the rocking chair and listen to bedtime music. He nurses for a while and then usually will drift off to sleep by 8pm.  I put him down in his crib and he stays there until around midnight when he wakes up to nurse. At that point, I am already asleep so my husband usually goes in to his room to get him and brings him to our bed. Then he stays in bed with us for the rest of the night.

My sweet boy in his crib with his stuffed monkey :)

We actually love to wake up to Aiden in the mornings. He is so happy and it is probably the best part of my day. It is also really nice to get time with him since I am away working 40 hours a week plus 10 hours of commuting. Nursing and bed sharing has been our way of bonding and I am grateful for that.

Now let me just say -- Aiden is getting bigger and he is starting to really take over our bed. He moves all over the place and kicks Daddy in the back so we realize that it may soon be time for a change... but I don't have it in me to just put him in his crib and let him cry it out.  All I can do is create a soothing, relaxing environment for sleep and try to remain as consistent as possible. I am also trying to create other associations for him when it comes to sleep that are not my boobs. His night time music, his stuffed monkey etc.  And I'm not saying that anyone who practices CIO is cruel, I'm just saying that it won't work for my family. There is loads of research out there in favor of cry it out and against it.. and both sides have convincing arguments... but CIO for me, goes against my instincts and I am committed to following my instincts as a parent.

I had to just walk away when my co-worker was talking to me today... especially when she said "why don't you just give him formula so that he can sleep all night?" .. because what I REALLY wanted to say was -- "it takes babies longer to digest formula so that's why formula fed infants go longer between feedings."  But I didn't say that... I won't return judgment with judgment... I won't get sucked in..  Woooossaa!

I know that eventually we will figure out how to get Aiden sleeping in his own bed and when it is the right time for him... In the interim, I pray that God gives me the patience and strength to do what is best for him. Do any of my readers have baby sleep advice? How about advice for handling stupid comments from other moms? LOL

1st Birthday Party: Becoming the crazy lady

A few years ago, I was helping my friend plan her wedding. We went out to take a look at some different venue options and ended up choosing a beautiful catering hall in Jersey City. I remember walking into that place and just saying "WOW" because it was pretty impressive. From the extravagant garden outside to the candlelit lounge area complete with a baby grand piano ..I loved it! That day, we went into the manager's office and my friend signed a contract to make it official - this was the place she would have her wedding! The manager showed us all of the rooms available and in the "grand ballroom" there was another party being set up. We were allowed to go inside and to my surprise the hall was adorned with zoo animals and different color balloons. I was kind of shocked when I looked at the three tier cake with a huge #1 candle on it -- this was some baby's first birthday party!

Of course, this was before I had a child of my own so I vowed never to go crazy and throw my future son or daughter a big 1st birthday party... after all, they aren't even going to remember it right?!  I would never, ever, turn into that crazy mom who spent hours curling ribbon and obsessing over every single detail of her child's birthday party... not me... never... ha, crazy lady!

Well, fast forward a few years and we are coming up on Aiden's very 1st birthday party!  I mean, it is a once in a lifetime, special experience for him -- he will be the birthday boy for the very first time! He is going to get to try cake and be the guest of honor.. of course I need to make it amazing for him!  And do we really have proof, and I mean HARD evidence that a child doesn't remember their first birthday party? What if the memories of our first birthdays linger somewhere in our subconscious and were a part of shaping who we turned out to be? LOL okay maybe not, but still this is important!

Aiden's party is quickly approaching and I will admit, I am becoming the crazy lady! We are doing a "Wonder Pets" theme since that is his favorite show and I am sooooo excited about it. I ordered invitations with his picture on them and I would totally post a pic of them here but I don't know how to crop out the address and I can't have you all showing up to the party... we won't have enough food!

The Wonderpets are kind of like super-heroes :)

And speaking of food I am so excited to plan this menu. Aiden is going to get applesauce cake since it will be his first time having something so sweet and I want to limit his sugar. But I have lots of healthy snacks planned for the kids like - ants on a log, nutella and banana sandwiches, veggie sticks and fruit kabobs!  I have even been singing "Happy Birthday" to Aiden in preparation and am trying to teach him how to blow out his candle. He woke up a few mornings ago and started blowing on my face... LOL .. we'll see!

Anyway, I've gotta go but say a little prayer for me that I don't really become the crazy lady and still manage to throw my boy a really fun and special 1st birthday party :)

XO,

When Mean Girls Grow Up

It is only after much soul searching, praying and reading that I feel ready to write my thoughts on this subject. As a general rule, I try to do those 3 things (pray, read, reflect) before I write about any subject but especially one that I may feel emotional about. This is one of those.

Mean Girls is one of my favorite movies and the cast is AMAZING. Tina Fey, who happens to be one of my favorite writers (she is amazingly talented) put this incredible screen play together based on a book called "Queen Bees and Wannabees" by Rosalind Wisemen. It is funny and charming and most of all it really sends a good message. It's one of the movies I can watch over and over again... and thinking back to middle school and high school days, it is one that I can definitely relate to.

Female relationships have always been challenging for me. For as long as I can remember, it is by female friends that I have experienced the most rejection, betrayal, hurt, and ironically enough the most joy, sisterhood, and fun. It is precisely because the relationships between girls can be so rewarding, that they can also be the most challenging. It is for some a great mystery (especially men) and I assure you, I have worked hard to wrap my head around it and prayed hard to overcome it.

The movie Mean Girls is probably the last thing you would think of regarding friendships between intelligent, professional, mature adult women but I will say right here and right now (from experience) it is not too far fetched. Sure, we aren't parading down school hallways anymore, but we are in offices, houses of worship, mom groups, and social gatherings. The mean girls - the Queen Bees and Wannabees have GROWN UP and now they are just mean women.

I've been reading excerpts of the book "Mean Girls Grown Up" by Cheryl Dellasega and it is incredibly thought provoking. So much of what she has to say resonates with me that I don't know where to start but let me start here: Cheryl says that these "mean girl" behaviors are called female relational aggression or RA. She calls RA "the subtle art of emotional devastation that takes place every day at home, at work, or in community settings. Unlike openly aggressive men, women learn early on to go undercover with these assaults, often catching their victims unaware."

What is RA? (from chapter 1)

Whether or not you're a mother, you probably understand these scenarios intuitively: the girl who gets excluded from a crowd she previously belonged to; the newcomer who fails to be accepted by other girls no matter what she does; the girl who is somehow different and targeted for that reason; or the popular Queen Bee, who buzzes from place to place spreading discomfort and manipulating others with her words. Sounds pretty juvenile, doesn't it?

She classifies women into three categories and explains that they can switch between these three at different times or circumstances in life.

Queen Bees
These women are at the top of the RA chain, exerting their authority and jealousy protecting their power. At some point or another in life, we have all taken on the role of  Queen Bee. Deciding who and who NOT to include when planning a party, "venting" to a friend or two or three about another female friend, rallying the support of others when we feel threatened by someone. These behaviors come from all different places but I assure you, the "Queen Bee" is the most insecure of them all. She is not sure of who she is or where she is in life ... she subconsciously pushes other women down, emotionally excludes them and it makes her feel just a little better about herself.

Middle Bees
In my opinion, these are the most dangerous of the bunch. Often the Middle Bee is the woman who gathers information and spreads gossip, and sometimes she simply does nothing to stop the aggression she witnesses. "The Middle Bee's position of non involvement can be used… to turn her into an accomplice." This is my blog so I will be honest -- I have encountered many, many Middle Bees in my life. It's the girl who says nothing when others are gossiping about me, offers neutral comments or changes the subject. She is not technically participating in the slander but she does nothing to stop it. This is the girl I have the most difficulty trusting. It is also the girl I have many times allowed myself to be. Here's what I've learned -- if you are speaking negatively about one of my friends, I will kindly ask you to stop. Not in front of me, not around me. She is my friend and I care for her..  I will not aid gossip by my actions or non-actions.

Afraid to Bees
We have definitely all been here! The 'afraid to bee" is the victim in the particular situation. Victimized women are afraid — afraid to speak up, afraid to remove themselves from unhealthy situations… too frightened to allow their real potential to be realized. It is being in this role that has probably taught me the most about myself and though it can be very rough, I am grateful for it. When I have been victimized by "Mean Girls or Mean Women" it honestly brings me back to other instances when I have done the very same thing to others. It makes me look deep within myself (once I can get past the initial sting) and it reminds me of who I want to be. I have learned that when a woman uses RA against me, it is not because of me but because of herself. I have learned that sometimes all I need to do is set up healthy boundaries and I have learned above all that I want to be a kind, loyal, and true friend.

Out of my longtime group of "girlfriends" I was the first to get married, the first to have a child, and many times the first to be isolated from the group. Suddenly, the focus went from "friends hanging out" to "single friends hanging out" and for whatever reason I could no longer be included. I tried stomping my feet about it, I tried crying about it, I tried to retaliate and hurt right back... and I will even admit that I tried to downgrade my happiness in my marriage so as to gain acceptance again. But eventually I learned to move on... I learned to make new friends and I strive every day to allow myself to grow closer and form trust bonds with new women.  I learned with much effort, to forgive too. I realize now that I can only control me and I feel pretty great about that.

The bottom line here is us women need each other... we need to support one another and stop this crazy cycle of RA. Women are the glue that hold families together -- we are multi-tasking ninjas, we are nurturing and gentle yet strong enough to give birth... we are smart and savvy... I mean, where would this world be without us? We need to unite my Sistas! As Beyonce would say - GIRLS we run the world!
XO,

The Mother Lion

Yep, that's me!

This might be a rambling / ranting one but I don't really care ... I need to let it out! So, have you heard that motherhood changes you? Well, I can confirm.. it really, truly does! And do you want to know the biggest thing it has changed about me? I'll tell you --- having Aiden has turned me into what I like to call "the mother lion". Here's how it works:

Person A admires my baby.... I allow person Person A to hold my baby.... my baby begins to scream while being held by Person A and I turn into "the mother lion", grab my baby and will be ready to pounce on Person A if there is any hesitation to hand him over.

Now, this didn't happen overnight... and when I allow myself to think back to those first few weeks of motherhood, I actually get angry at myself for not breaking out "the mother lion" sooner. If someone would grab my baby and go into another room, I would sit there choking on my anxiety, palms sweaty, heart beating, because I didn't want to make them feel bad or be seen as the overprotective new mother. My poor little newborn just needed to feel his Mama close to him and I didn't respond to his needs because of this. It seriously angers me when I think back on it but you live and you learn and I have learned!

This does not mean that I immediately jump to my baby's rescue the minute he cries... not at all. I will happily give whoever is holding him a chance to soothe him... but here are the things I am looking for in said person's response to the cries of my precious baby --- 1) that they actually care he is crying. This means NO laughing or not taking it seriously that my little one is upset. 2) that they acknowledge my place as the mother.. this means that if I am in the room don't go walking away to get him away from me thinking that will help. Chances are, he is crying because he isn't too fond of being held by you, so take it slow and let me smooth things over. If he sees that you are cool with his Mama, he will be cool with you too.

Seriously, it is annoying and I am sick and tired of explaining this to people. I get it - you want to hold the baby, he is cute and all that... trust me, I get it. BUT babies are human beings who also need their personal space respected. How would you feel if you were standing on 41st and Lexington, and an absolute stranger comes over and picks you up off the ground? I bet you'd start screaming and hitting the dude with you purse right? Well, a baby is no different. If he doesn't know you, he isn't going to want you to pick him up. You have to take it slow... talk to him, play with him and let him see that you are his mommy's friend.

And just because I want to put this in writing, let me make it clear --- I AM the mother lion... I AM my child's gatekeeper. All access to my child will be through me and his father. On our terms, and by our rules. There is no such thing as "entitlement" and I don't care who you are or how much DNA you share in common with him. For the next 18 years at least  -- I am the boss of Aiden. Whoever cannot respect me, will have limited access to him. That is that.

Don't mess with the Mother Lion!

Catching Up!

I realize that I haven't been posting as often this month ... things have been so busy! After the new year I will get back into the groove of things and there will be more but in the mean time, I thought I'd give you all a few updates ...

*Work - my supervisor went on maternity leave. She had a gorgeous baby boy and I'm so happy for her... but while she is gone I am running the department which means I am super busy with both my own workload and hers! I haven't had much time for social media or blogging during the day but that's okay with me. It is actually nice to be super busy because time flies by quicker while I'm at work. I also work really well under pressure so it has kind of brought out the best in me. I think it is going really well, I'm meeting all my deadlines and keeping it together, thank the sweet baby Jesus!

*Ministry - my husband and I recently agreed to be the Directors of the young adult ministry at our church. We're not certain of the exact ages but this is our group of "twenty-somethings". We are currently discussing our plans for this group and I am really excited about what God is going to be doing! It is a really diverse group of young people... some married, most single and in all different places in life. I am praying that this be a really fulfilling experience for us and a growth opportunity for myself as a person. Leading others has a way of really sharpening one's character so I am nervous but grateful for the opportunity. I also LOVE all the YA's in our group and have made some really special friends so I know it will be wonderful to share with them and strengthen our faith together.

*Christmas - it is such a fun time but it can also be hectic. I got the house decorated and I am really happy with it.. I haven't had time to snap photos but it looks really nice! I put the tree up in our sun room which is great because it has become the "forbidden room" for Aiden. You can see the tree through our window from the street which I LOVE. I found a really cute Christmas plaid tablecloth at Bed Bath and Beyond and it really makes a difference. I got a wreath, some poinsettia, and lots of red pillar candles that smell like cranberry. The place looks great and it totally feels like Christmas. Aiden loves it especially the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. He reaches out for it every time I walk by with him. I'm super excited for our first Christmas at home as a family. I'm going to be making a special breakfast that will include red velvet pancakes... ohhh yeah!

*Getaway - we are going to be spending our first night away from Aiden on the week between Christmas and New Year's. I booked a romance package at a hotel and it sounds really nice... champagne & strawberries, a candlelight dinner, breakfast and a late checkout of 2pm. I am excited for the sleep opportunity this will provide too- haha. But I am also really nervous about being away from Aiden. I hope he knows that we will be back! It is just really important for me and the hubby to get some alone time. I am excited about it.

*New Years - I have no idea what the plan is for NYE. We have a celebration at our church but Aiden won't make it until midnight and I wouldn't try to make him sleep through all the celebrating. He is a light sleeper so he would just be miserable. I think it is going to be a quiet evening at home watching the ball drop. Maybe we'll have our best friends over and make a nice dinner ... I don't know.

*Home decorating - I do love decorating my house but I am NOT crafty at all...  my friend Caroline gave us some bookshelves and I am going to be sprucing them up with a little project. I can't say if I think it will be a success yet but it is pretty simple and I will definitely be posting about it more in detail soon. That is all I can disclose at this time.

*New Hair -- Guys, I got bangs!!! I haven't had bangs since I was like in 4th grade so it still feels really weird but it looks pretty good. I've gotten lots of compliments and it has helped me feel better about myself since the postpartum hair loss has kicked in. See new bangs in picture below :)

Anyway, if I don't post again until after the holidays... please have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!! Lots of love, health, happiness and blessings from my family to yours.

XO,