My Mother's Day!!

 I am going to make this post short and sweet but I needed to write about my Mother's Day! I enjoyed a Guatemalan breakfast and a beautiful church service. I got gorgeous flowers from my hubby and adorable paper flowers at church. I got an awesome Android Tablet from my Mommy and new Converse from my hubby.  I spent the day surrounded by LOVE... it was amazing.

Here are the top 10 reasons my Mother's Day was PERFECTION:


1) Because I woke up late (9:30am) to smells of freshly brewed coffee and a yummy breakfast being prepared... to a baby who had been changed and was playing happily.

2) Because a good friend stood over the night before and we stood up chit-chatting until 2am. She was the maker of the yummy breakfast on Mother's Day morning.

3) Because my amazing, hero of a man woke up early with the baby and kept him occupied and entertained while I caught some much needed Z's.

4) Because that same man got me beautiful flowers, a heartfelt card and a new pair of converse! God bless him for knowing the way to my heart.

5) Because I got all dolled up for church and spent the morning worshiping my savior and hanging with my extraordinary church family.

6) Because I spent the evening with my sweet boy, and my beautiful mother and grandmother. We had a wonderful visit!

7) Because I got so many thoughtful, warm wishes from friends and family ... and they all made me feel so loved and appreciated.

8) Because I spent the day EXACTLY the way my heart desired. Around amazing people who lift me up, encourage me as a mother, and constantly bless me with their positive words and genuine care.

9) Because I had a day that was care free.. for that I thank my husband who took all my cares into his hands and let me do whatever would make me happy.

10) Because I chose to not care about anyone's expectations for just one day. I did what I wanted and what I felt was sincere. I just LET GO of all worries and things "I need to do" or people "I need to see"... I did exactly what I wanted and it felt sooooo good.

AND those are the ten reasons why I had the perfect Mother's Day. Sadly, I did not take any pictures because I was too busy having an awesome day. I know that makes me a bad blogger, sorry friends!

I hope all the Mommies had an amazing day too - it isn't an easy job and you are all so loved and appreciated!!

XO,

Becoming One

Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh... (Genesis 2) 

The most fulfilling experience of my life, besides becoming a mother has been the step of entering into a covenant, a sacred bond with another person and sharing a life with him... being a wife is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. You see, it is through this most intimate of relationships that one discovers even more and it is through these discoveries that I have also been sharpened, molded and continue to be. That has not always been easy but I embrace the process. I am so very thankful for the wonderful man I get to call husband. 

This marriage thing is not always easy. Lately, it seems like so many external influences have tried to make a dent in my marriage. From stress at work to financial pressure, to opinions and negative input from others. Our relationship has been tested in more than one way. As if adjusting to being new parents is not enough! But I do thank God because we are learning just how important "hedges" are around our marriage and why setting boundaries is so necessary. It is something I wish we would have learned to do sooner but I am glad for it now.  

The verse above in Genesis is my favorite on marriage. I can just imagine Adam, looking his bride in the eyes and saying those words -- "this AT LAST is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." It gives me goosebumps every time. The two, became ONE. Or at least, they were on their way to becoming one... 

Becoming one is not something that just magically happens when you say "I Do". It is a process. Two completely different people, from completely different upbringings are brought together to be ONE...  I love how the verse above says -- "and they shall become one flesh"...just the fact that God worded it in this way. THEY SHALL BECOME one flesh. 

In the storybooks and fairy tales, it is at the wedding where the story ends. The Prince and the Princess live happily ever after... but in life, it is at the wedding where the story is just beginning. Nearly 4 years into this marriage thing, I am learning that now. 

My husband and I are starting to really understand what it means to become one. To put each other above all else and make our family's well being the top priority. Yesterday he looked at me, grabbed my hand and grabbed our son and he said -"you see this? this is all that matters." It is in the toughest of times that we have learned to stick together and it is in these times when it has mattered most. 

We are both so far from perfect and we have so much growing and learning to do, but HIS GRACE is enough. Enough for me, enough for my marriage, enough for our family. I know that if not for that grace, I don't know where we would be. 

It has been a difficult weekend with tears and pain ... but I am so grateful that we are facing challenges united and as a team.  I can honestly say that I sit here feeling so blessed and loving my husband even more today than I did yesterday :) 

The List

Come on Ladies, you know "the list" I am talking about... the one you sat down in high school and made with all the qualities your future husband MUST have. Then you revised it a couple of times over the years, as you learned about yourself and made decisions about which qualities were negotiable and which were not. You meet a guy, you go on a date, and if you're anything like me you are like a Rolodex in your mind checking off each time he makes "the list". Sense of humor: check, Charm: check, Big Brown Eyes: check.

For me, I am totally Type A and controlling so my list was pretty thorough and I was in a 5 year relationship with my "high school sweetheart" who only had like 2 qualities on my list. I knew he wouldn't be "the one" I just kind of didn't know how to end it. Needless to say when I came out of that relationship and started "fraternizing" with the boys in college, I got really strict about adhering to my list. You don't make the list?! You are dismissed! Again, totally type A. I was kind of like Katherine Heigl in "The Ugly Truth" - neurotic you say? well, that's a mean way to put it but yea kind of.

I wish I could find the actual hard copy of my list ... I assure you I had one, but here are some of the items I remember being on it:

*Must be at least one inch taller than me

* Must be musically inclined (play an instrument, sing, or both)

* Must challenge me / have an assertiveness about him

*Must be funny and silly

*Must be outgoing

*Must love Jesus

*Must read well (aloud)

*Must write well (grammar and spelling)

*Must be ambitious and have career goals

*Must NOT be "ghetto" in clothing style, speak, or music. NO reggaeton on his play list.

*Must have a car

The list goes on and on... I had this "box idea" of how my future husband needed to be and I refused to waste my time on anyone that didn't fit inside of my box.

Cut to January of 2007 -- In walks J.J. to my crazy life... and the box is (what box?) ripped to shreds.

Isn't he adorable? I know, I know... ;)

For our first date, we went to the South Street Seaport to see the "Bodies" exhibit and spent about 6 hours together. It was easy, it was natural and we fit like a glove from the very start. I remember the "aha" moment I had on our 4th date; we were sitting in a Starbucks having coffee and he got up to get some napkins. As he walked across that coffee shop I just felt it in my spirit, like a burst all of a sudden - That man is my husband!

God knew exactly what I needed in a partner and of course, I THOUGHT I knew what I needed. We got married on October 5th, 2008 and I am so excited to celebrate our 3 year anniversary as husband and wife tomorrow!

J.J. is one of the two greatest gifts I have been given and although he actually does have the majority of the qualities on my "list", he also has made my life full on so many other levels, in ways I could have never foreseen or imagined for myself. He makes me want to be a better woman every day and he accepts me for who I am. Our connection runs deeper than words can describe and I know in my Spirit that he was ordained for me, destined to journey this life by my side and I am blessed beyond measure.

You see, the fullness of God's love -- the depth, the width, the eternalness is humanly realized in marriage. The bond of a husband and wife is a mirror of the bond between Christ and his church. I never fully experienced this Agape love until God gave me J.J. This amazing love has continued to blow me away as God has now given us Aiden :) No set of plans, No list I could ever write can compare or even come close to that!

I still feel like Katherine Heigl in "The Ugly Truth", except I feel more like this part of the movie:

Yep, I'm doing my Happy Dance =)

I am so grateful that God came in threw "my list" away. He knew exactly what I needed and I have never been happier. I'm looking forward to our date night tomorrow to celebrate!

J.J, I love you Papito!

The Otter & The Beaver

The month of August is coming to a close soon and September is upon us... where did the summer go? I am really excited about the Fall though... the fall season is actually one of my favorite things about living on the east coast. The leaves change color, the weather is perfect and fall fashion is my fave! Give me riding boots, give me sweaters, and FINALLY I can straighten my hair and get rid of my "poof"... the summer poofy hair I mean.

The fall is also my 2nd favorite season (summer is #1) because it reminds me of the most important day of my life aside from the day I had my son; my wedding day! October 5th will be my 3rd wedding anniversary and apparently my hubby is planning our celebration... stay tuned for that bit of news and I'm sure I will walk you all down memory lane sometime soon.

Marriage has really been an amazing experience and I'm really grateful to have a partner in this thing called life. It's nice to know that no matter what, you are not alone and I have been in some really awesome company. Still, it's always a challenge when trying to unite two different people and the first years of marriage are all about getting that blend going.

Becoming one is not just something that magically happens on your wedding day... it is a process and like every process it isn't always easy. We have to make our own decisions as a couple, decide how we want to live, and create our own traditions. Now that we have a child, the challenge of these decisions has only intensified and we are learning to put aside the notion of "my family does it like this" and ask "how will OUR family do it?"

Thankfully, we go to a pretty awesome church that has a marriage connection group meeting once a month. It's nice to sit with other married couples in various stages of their relationships and feel that support. Last month, we took Dr.Gary Smalley's personality type quiz to learn which animal we identify with -- Lion, Golden Retriever, Otter or Beaver. If you get a chance, head over to the website and take the quiz for yourself, the results are so accurate it's crazy!

The idea here is that many times, opposites seem to attract and there is a reason for that. Husbands and Wives, we are supposed to be a team right? So we are supposed to compliment each other. Most times, our opposite attributes tend to frustrate one another but once we can get a better understanding of our partner's personality type, we can use our differences to make the most of our relationships... as in, "use powers for good and not evil".

In the personality test, I found out I am a "Beaver" while my husband is an "Otter". I can totally relate to the traits of the beaver. I am kind of Type A-- I like things done in a very specific, organized manner... this has really gotten me far as a student and in my professional life... but in relationships it can get a little intense. Okay, okay, A LOT intense. It annoys me when people say things like "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" or "let it happen naturally". I see that as laziness and people with this philosophy just seem unmotivated or disinterested to me. I'm a planner, I make lists, I obsess over the details... it drives my husband crazy! Here are the traits of the beaver:

task-oriented
worker
orderly/organized
neat
scheduled
serious
quiet
talented
musical
artistic
intense
creative
like to research
good student
high standards
hard on themselves
can get depressed easily
avoid noise and confusion

A lot of these really stand out to me! Both the strengths and weaknesses of these traits. It's especially true that I do not like noise or confusion, am hard on myself and can get easily depressed. When in large gatherings or parties, I tend to retreat to a quieter area and tune out the rest. I love to have fun and love people but it can overwhelm me after a while. I do not like being the center of attention. I'm a perfectionist and I chase my goals carrying them out exactly as I envision them. No one is harder on me than ME. I research anything and everything, I am artistic in the musical and literary sense (can't draw or paint for beans) and very task oriented.

My husband is the Otter. He is opposite in that he is usually the more playful, fun, life of the party kind of guy. He doesn't mind being the center of attention, he is very social and outgoing. His views on things are much more care-free and light. Here are the traits of the Otter:

playful
love people
love attention
life of the party
fun loving
hate isolation
love to entertain
love to talk
energetic
disorganized

For me, it means that he is disorganized and that is a criminal offense in the world of April. On my birthday he planned a get together and didn't even bother buying paper ware or plastic cutlery. We cut the cake and he realized "oh, there are no paper plates" and it was no big deal. He would have a good time regardless while I agonized over the travesty of it all. In all honesty, I wish I was a lot more like my husband... he is optimistic and seems to always have peace in even the most uncertain circumstances. And I don't mean denial either! Some people claim to be optimists but they just ignore reality and he isn't at all like that.

The personality test and the talk we had at our marriage connection group was really helpful and I'm really glad we did it. I'm learning so much more about myself and becoming a better me a little more every day.

Overall, I'm learning to appreciate our differences as we balance each other out a little more. I'm grateful for how far we have come in our relationship and hopeful for many, many years of wedded bliss ahead :)

So... which animal are you?

Father's Day 2011

Yesterday was Father's Day! I had lots of thoughts because for so many years, Father's day was not really a day I looked forward to or got excited about. Since it's always on a Sunday, there is always something special going on at church to recognize Dads. At my old church, I remember that all the fathers were asked to come up for a special prayer with their children... I was about 13 or 14 at that time and I remember just going into the bathroom and staying there until I could be sure this part of the program was over.

As a kid in school, it was hard when we made Father's Day cards and I had no one to bring it home to. I would usually just give it to an uncle or someone I loved like a father but it never felt fun or exciting. As I've gotten older, it has gotten easier to deal with.. but still, I never get excited for Father's Day. This year though, that all changed!

My husband and I were blessed with a beautiful baby boy this year and yesterday, we got to celebrate my husband's first father's day! For weeks I was planning and brainstorming to find the perfect gift and I think it was a success.

I had a personalized guitar strap made for him with our son's footprints, name and DOB printed. He loved it! Check out the pics:

He also got a homemade breakfast before we headed out to church! It was so nice to do special things to make him happy and I'm so grateful he is the father of my child. The 3 of us enjoyed a special morning alone as a family and Daddy had a great day! yay!

I love my little family!

Hope all the Dad's had a great day too =) Can't wait for next year!

My Birth Story

I did my best to keep notes but most of this is just based on what I can remember while it's still pretty fresh in my head--

My due date was Sunday April 17th and as the case with most first-time moms, the date came and went and still no baby! It's kind of frustrating when you've been waiting 9 months for something and it doesn't happen but it was also kind of a relief. I wanted to give Baby Picon all the time he needed and I so desperately wanted the birthing process to occur as naturally as possible. So, I started to distract myself and just pray that when it did happen I wouldn't be in a public place - Lol!

On the 18th I went into my doctor's office for a checkup and she decided to put me on the fetal monitor for about half hour to check out the baby's activity. This is when things got a little scary. Baby Picon was not as active as my doctor wanted to see and this can sometimes indicate that there is stress affecting the baby. She sent me to the hospital that same day for more in depth testing. After drinking some orange juice and spending about 4 hours in the hospital, they decided that the baby seemed fine but if labor did not start on it's own that week, they would induce me on Friday. I had heard many horror stories about Pitocin and was DREADING being induced. I went home and prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more that I would not have to use Pitocin to get my contractions going.

I spent Tuesday of that week at my mom's house celebrating my grandfather's 90th birthday and felt lots of movement from the baby that day. I experienced a few sharp pains but nothing substantial so I just continued to hope. The next day (Wednesday) I was at home and felt the baby move ONCE in a 4 or 5 hour period. I tried not to panic but deep down I felt that something was wrong. I drank some orange juice and layed down on my side for a while and felt nothing. I called my doctor who instructed me to go to the hospital right away. My mom drove me and I called my husband. He immediately left work. I was so scared at that point and just wanted to get my baby out! At the hospital the doctor told me that I would have to be admitted and induced early the next morning. I was still nervous about the Pitocin but decided it was more important to get my baby out safely.

That night, the doctor gave me Cervadil which is a medicine used to begin the softening of the cervix in preparation for labor. She said "order some food and get a good night's sleep while the Cervadil does it's job.. we will start the Pitocin in the morning to get your labor going." My husband went out and got some UNO's Pizza and we got cozy in my hospital room. We put on American Idol and just relaxed. In my mind, this was my last night of good sleep before the baby so I was going to enjoy it. However, things rarely work out as I plan them and my contractions started just two hours after being given the Cervadil. Around 9pm I started getting contractions that were about 5 minutes apart. They were not that intense and the nurse told me they wouldn't get any worse. If they did, she would take the Cervadil out.

By 11pm that night, the contractions were very intense but no one really thought they were (except for me of course). I tend to internalize when it comes to pain so with my husband on the hospital bed next to me, I would breath through each contraction and just try to keep my cool. I kept telling myself "April, this is nothing compared to what's coming so don't be such a punk". My husband began to realize that I was really in pain and he helped me breath through the contractions. My nurse decided to come in and check me and to my surprise I was 4 centimeters dilated! My first words to J.J. after that were "CALL MY MOM".

I was in so much pain at that point and they moved me into a delivery room. I got my epidural and have to admit it was painful but once it took affect --- HEAVEN!! I went to sleep from 2:30am until 7am and when I woke up, my water had broken. About an hour after my water broke, the nurse checked and I was fully dilated and ready to start pushing.

By this point, I decided that I wanted to put on some makeup for some reason. Don't ask me why! But I'm so glad I had been able to sleep a bit and get some strength for what was coming next-- the REAL work.

I started pushing at 9am and at first, it was kind of hard because I didn't feel the "urge" very strongly. I decided not to click my epidural button anymore and let the pain actually work toward something. That did the trick! I started to gain momentum and the pushing started really progressing. I could feel the baby lowering and as he did, the urge became even stronger. At this point, I was mentally in a place of "I CAN DO THIS" and I kept telling myself "April, you were made for this!". My husband, mom and mother-in-law were in the room and I just kept hearing "WOW April you're doing great" and those encouragements kept me going. Around 10:30am, it started getting really, really hard! I've been told that pushing a baby out feels like the biggest "#2" of your life but I beg to differ! It did not feel like I was doing a #2 at all.. it felt like I was pushing a human being out of me! LOL.

For me, this was probably the most painful part. One of my friends described it best as "The ring of fire" and that's exactly what I felt. At this point I had to go somewhere else mentally to get through it. I could barely hear the people in the room now and all I could do was pray. "God, help me" is what I kept repeating and I started singing songs in my mind. I remember feeling like I was about to give up and screaming pretty loud when I heard my amazing nurse Lisa's voice. She said something along the lines of "April, look at me" and I did. She told me not to give up and that I could do this. This woman was such a great nurse and she saved me! I didn't hear anyone's voice but hers. She looked at me and then looked at the clock and said "So do you want your baby to be born at 11am?" I remember feeling a sudden burst of energy right at that moment and responding "let's do this."

Aiden Kyle Picon was born at 11:01am. It turns out he had the umbilical chord wrapped around his neck 3 TIMES and this is probably why I hadn't felt him moving as much. It was such a relief to see him and know he was safe. I immediately started crying and remember my husband kissing my head and saying he loved me. Then I waited to hear Aiden's cry and it was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. He was here and somehow, I had done it! Lisa (my nurse) came up to me and she said "April, you are A LOT stronger than you think you are."

.. and that is what I learned from this. I have what it takes to be a mom and I am STRONG. I am going to love and protect Aiden for as long as I am here on this earth and this taught me that I can do it. God gave me strength that day and I know now that I am going to rock at this mother thing! I'm just sayin ;)

XO,

"Count your Blessings April " -- My Mom

Okay so today was my birthday! I am sure that around this time next year, I will be too busy planning my son's first birthday (we are going to share a month) to even care about celebrating my own... so this one was kind of important to me. Still, planning my son's is going to take the cake! Ha, no pun intended =)

Anyway, I'm not going to lie - there was a bit of sadness for me today. I am used to celebrating every year with friends and this year I didn't even get a "happy birthday" from most of those same friends. What I've been learning the past few months is that I can't just WANT... I have to be WANTED too and I'm learning to embrace and accept that. It's just hard when you think that friendships are stronger than they actually are.... maybe than they actually ever were. It sort of feels like it was all a lie and makes you feel dumb to have fought so much for someone and when it is their turn, they aren't willing to fight for you. Today, on my birthday I couldn't help but feel that sadness and mourn a little for those relationships... but then my mom said something to me: --- "COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS APRIL" ---> she really is smart isn't she??

So, though I don't "list post" very often, I decided that I am going to do just that. Because today I had a really great birthday and I am so very blessed.. Really I am!!! And I won't let sadness over a few people who don't want me to overshadow all the LOVE I felt from the loads of people who do! Love, family, friendships are so abundant in my life and I am so grateful to God for that.


1) A SAVIOR -- Waves of mercy, waves of grace, everywhere I look I see your face! I am blessed to know that I don't have to be perfect, that in my weakness he is strong and that he already paid the price so that I don't have to. That no-matter what, he LOVES me more than anyone ever will.

2) My husband --- yea, that's right I got a man! I come home to an extraordinary person every single day. I don't have to be anyone but myself with him... I don't have to try too hard... he just loves me for me. He stood up and made vows to love me forever and I am the luckiest girl alive. He respects me, and values me and sees my heart. He is a real partner and friend. Today, he sent me to a Maternity Spa for a massage, leg treatment and facial! And bought me strawberry cheesecake from my new favorite pastry shop - Enrico's. He showed me his love on my birthday but more than that he demonstrates his love for me every single day. I thank God that I have been blessed with this man and I am beyond thrilled to be carrying a part of him -- our son.

3) My Mom -- she was the inspiration behind my post today. She has taught me what sacrificial love is and she exemplifies Christ to me on a daily basis. She is patient, loving and understanding and she loves me unconditionally. I can tell her ANYTHING and I do. We have always talked about everything and I am so grateful for the bond that we have shared. I know some young women who don't talk to their moms about what is on their heart and that just makes me appreciate what I have so much. My mom is my best friend and today, she did so much to make my day special.

4) My Family -- I have a huge family so I won't go into details with names but I am grateful for all of them. My in-laws were here today and I am grateful to have married in to such a close, fun, and crazy family =) My aunts, uncles, cousins both near and far called, texted, emailed, Facebooked to show me their love on my birthday and it is so special to know I have been thought of. My beautiful niece left me a voice-mail and sang "happy birthday" to me. There is just nothing that matters more than my family.

5) My Church Family -- New Season Christian Center! I can't describe with words the blessing these people are in my life. I have found an amazing group of women who have supported me throughout my pregnancy with their advice, their love, and prayers. I have gained a new group of friends in the awesome worship team.. I have gotten to know other couples, singles, and some amazing kids. I got some touching messages and words of love from these people today and many birthday wishes I will never forget.

6) Girlfriends-- I had an awesome (and yummy) LADIES night in the city with my wonderful friends this week... young married women like me who have given me so much support and love that I have much needed. I got a special visit from a friend who brought me Girl Scout Cookies just because I was craving them and she wanted to make me happy :) I got yellow roses from another friend and a mani/pedi gift card handmade by her! I got a voicemail from a lovely friend in Queens who has been there for me and worn her heart on her sleeve. I have learned so much to value my relationships with other women and in the last few months GOD HIMSELF has sent some ladies into my path that have been such a blessing.

7) Guy Friends -- Ya know what I love about my guy friends? They are so simple and they don't get caught up in drama. LOL. I have been blessed by their consistency and that in itself is just amazing. They are fun and make me laugh and laughter really is the best medicine.

8) My Job -- throughout this whole pregnancy and especially the doctor's orders for me to stay on bed rest.. my company has been amazing and I am so grateful to have the option of working from home while I get ready to welcome Baby Picon into the world. I got a birthday card from my co-workers today and really appreciated that. God has provided this job for me and I am blessed!

9) Health -- God really knows what he is doing when making our bodies! I have seen that TRULY in the last 9 months. Even though pregnancy takes a toll, I am grateful that I have good health and strength to carry this child.

10) A beautiful apartment, food on the table, NO debt, bills paid, and savings --- Materially speaking, God has provided and I know that nothing I have is because of me. We have made steps this year that I am so grateful we have had the chance to make and I thank God for his provision.

=) Annnnddd my 26th year is bringing the biggest blessing yet -- the birth of my son! Who really needs more? What can I say I am missing? How can I be sad? When I count my blessings it is evident that there is just so much more reason to DANCE than to mourn. That my ashes have been traded in for BEAUTY and that my despair is no longer because I have been given a garment of PRAISE. (Isaiah 61:3)

Happy Birthday to me! And thanks to all of you who care and who made it special. You have no idea what that meant to me especially this year!

Xo,

Baby Mine - A letter to my son

Dear Son,

In about 5 weeks, you're scheduled to arrive... but if you're anything like me you will just arrive when you are good and ready! Your Dad and I have been working on your room; the place where you will rest your head and hopefully feel the safest in the world and I can't stop going in just to sit and imagine... imagine your smile, your cries, imagine the sweet look on your face when you are sleeping. I feel you moving inside of me and am so anxious to finally see you and hold you in my arms.

You were our little surprise... we didn't plan for you to be coming but believe me when I say that you are the BEST thing I have never planned and BETTER than anything I have planned too. God knew we were meant to be together and so he sent you on your way! It is my deepest and greatest desire to know you, and love you, and take care of you for as long as I am on this earth. How can I have not yet seen your face but already love you so much? I do. Your father loves you too...

He and I met a few years ago and I instantly saw something special in him. His eyes are the warmest and kindest I have ever looked into. He is good and his intentions are pure... he is everything a real man should be and I want you to always remember that. He might at times disappoint you, but he will always take care of you and lead you in the direction of his heart. This is what he does for me every day. I know this is a trait you will inherit. I hope you have his sense of humor and good nature... if you learn anything from him, learn that it is always best to see the good in others and believe the good before assuming the bad. Learn that life doesn't always have to be serious and some things take time. Laugh as much as you can and be adventurous! Don't let fear hold you back... it's a wasted emotion. On that note, so is worry.... don't worry but believe that things will work out for the best. These are all things your father teaches me and when he teaches them to you -- listen.

If there is anything I can teach you it's to never let go of your FAITH. A relationship with my creator is the only thing that has brought me through in life and I know that it will bring you through as well. Pray and don't be afraid to keep praying. Be creative and expressive when you relate to God... he listens and he will express himself back. Worship is a special "phone line" that connects us to him so I hope you are a worshiper. Read the Psalms and learn about King David because it is the heart of worship that brought him close to God even with all of his flaws. It is the heart of worship that does the same for me. Don't be afraid to express yourself and say what you feel... those who love you won't hold it against you. Those who are meant to be with you will never leave you. Life is short and more than anything you accomplish, your relationships will be what it all comes down to. Do away with bitterness or feelings of resentment... love with all your heart and start by loving YOURSELF. There is only one YOU and anyone meant to be with you will love you for exactly who you are.

Friends will come and go but FAMILY is forever. Be good to your family and appreciate them because they love you. We all love you and can't wait for you to be here. I want to count your little fingers and toes, I want to smell your hair and kiss you a million times... I want to spend a lifetime loving you but God only knows how much time we will have together. Regardless, know that you are the biggest blessing I have ever received and I will forever be grateful.

You are my sunshine...

With all the love in my heart,

Your Mommy

You Complete Me.. You Had me at Hello...

In church recently during Sunday School, we had this huge debate about horror movies and what are the kinds of things that we as Christians should be watching. I think that performing arts can be a HUGE influence on it's observers because the emotions and passions of the artist are behind it; driving it in a way that makes us literally feel what they are feeling. (if the artist is good that is).

That's why a song can make us all giddy or a film can move us to tears. No other art-form taps into us like that and while that can be a wonderful thing to experience (and help others experience as a singer and writer myself) we should also be cautious about the things that we allow to take in with our eyes, ears, minds and many times our hearts. Young people in particular are very susceptible to the mainstream media but people of all ages can really get "sucked in" to certain ideals without even realizing it. Art is a powerful thing!

All the while debating about whether or not we should be watching scary movies, a friend of mine (who loves scary movies) made the point that she thinks we all just need to monitor how certain things affect us and make personal decisions accordingly. She then said something that really made me think -- "I don't like romantic movies or the ideas they portray about love." This immediately resonated with me and all I could say was "WOW what a great point".

OK so here is my disclaimer --> I have only been married almost 3 years and my husband and I only dated one year before that. I do not consider myself to be a relationship "guru" and I won't at all pretend to be an expert on love. I am young, I am growing, I am learning and as I do it is my desire to share my heart and put out there what this learning process is doing for me. My ideas are constantly being molded based on life experiences and wisdom from great people around me and I'd hate anyone to think otherwise.

So now, that we've gotten that out of the way... what are the ideas that movies, songs, literature, and the mainstream media portray about love? Why is divorcing for "irreconcilable differences" such a common thing? Why are so many young women out there still waiting for a Prince Charming?

LOVE is such a huge word and everyone has their own ideas about what it means. The bible really says it best in 1 Corinthians chapter 13. It says what love IS and what love IS NOT. I think this chapter is one of my favorites in the bible because it is such an excellent model of what it is to truly love. When I read this, I think of the love of Jesus and how he displays it to us in exactly the way described here. I think that God is love and this passage is a literal description of the characteristics of God. This passage was even read at my wedding (as I am sure it is read at many weddings) as a reminder for my husband and I to strive for this perfect love every day as we spend our lives together.

Now, let's get REAL pallleeeese! - sometimes my husband is selfish, or angry, or jealous... sometimes he is far from patient or kind and what then? Does this mean he doesn't love me? Should I throw this passage in his face and be like "Tisk-Tisk, love doesn't seek it's own! We must not have real love then". Sometimes a parent grows resentful because they have to put their child's needs over the things that they want to do.. does it mean that parent doesn't love their child?

Not one of us loves perfectly! Why do we have expectations based on our favorite movies instead of based on ourselves? When I look in the mirror, I don't see a perfect person so why would I expect perfection from my partner? I have said this before and I'll say it again - LOVE IS A CHOICE. We won't be successful in love until we take that ownership.

There is no Prince Charming.... and there is certainly NO ONE in this world who can complete you. We are made whole (complete) by God's grace and when we choose to love ourselves. I can't look to anyone to complete who I am because who I am is never identical to anyone else. I am an original creation that is meant to live and carry out an original destiny unlike that of anyone else. Some people will join me on my journey and others will be a part of it for a short time... no one will complete me.

I admit it... my heart melts every time I watch Jerry Maguire and hear Tom Cruise say those famous words...




Don't wait for the person who "completes you" to come along.. you'll find yourself waiting forever.. and don't wait for someone you love to grow into that person.. Just keepin' it real :)

~A

My Thoughts on Marriage - "The Dying Trend"

I subscribe to a really great blog from "Focus on the Family" specifically targeted to young married people and it has really blessed my life! Here is a link to their website. This morning, while reading some of their new articles, I got to praying and thinking (uh-oh!) and was truly inspired by what some of the bloggers had to say. The New York Times recently published an article about marriage and why it is becoming less and less popular with today's young people. It seems as though marriage is just viewed as a "dying trend" and young men and women are either waiting longer to get married or opting out of the idea altogether. I read this article a few months back and it made me sad, being a young married woman and having experience and seen the blessing that it is. The article contributed many factors to the reason why this is the case... obviously, women now account for more than half of college students and half of the workforce and as a result, marriage and babies are put off longer than in years past. Commitment is also an issue that was brought up. Nowadays, most couples just prefer to "live together" without putting their commitment down on paper. They even use the words "hubby", "wifey" etc. with no rings or strings attached. Personally, I wish they'd all just leave those titles for those of us who have actually committed and are doing the work but that's a whole other blog post. In a nutshell, I guess that young people are finding that the risks in marriage outweigh the benefits and it is no longer high up on the list of priorities. In my opinion, nothing could be further from the truth!

My husband and I took a pre-marital counseling class at our church before our wedding in 2008 and it was so helpful. The class used the book and workbooks called "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" by Les and Leslie Parrot. Here is a link to their website. Les and Leslie Parrot are Christian marriage & family therapists and this book is scripture based which was very helpful because I could read it together with my bible. Biblically speaking, marriage or the relationship between a husband and wife is comparable to the relationship between Christ and the Church. As our Pastor who was teaching the class put it -- "marriage is the ONLY human experience we can have that models this relationship (Christ & his church) ... the only way, in our humanness to grasp the love and commitment that is shared, to understand the fullness and depth of that connection! This is something that has always remained with me ... how amazing is that?! That type of deep, spiritual intimacy simply can't be shared with a "boyfriend".

I was 23 years old when I got married (I'll be 26 in a few months, buy me presents! lol) and I remember when telling some people I was engaged; getting "the look" or even a few times "the question" - WHY? I found humor in this question and my answer was usually something like "because I fell in love and want to be married"... though I am assuming the answer they were looking for was "because we are pregnant". Being married young has really been an opportunity for growth in my life, not to mention the joy that overwhelms me because I have the privilege of experiencing and practicing true love during my youth. To me, there is nothing more beautiful to share with my husband.

I'll be the first to say, that marriage is not AT ALL what I expected. It changes a relationship and is not by any means easy. Love is not a feeling, it is a way of life... a way of life that Christ emphasized so greatly in his teachings while he was here on earth... a way of life that we are called to embrace and practice to have communion with the father. Trust me, on the days when my husband is getting on my nerves I have to remind myself -- LOVE IS A CHOICE April, Love is a way of life April! LOL... I did not marry a man who fulfills 1 Corinthians 13 perfectly, and I do not live in this perfect way either... but in getting married we committed to growing in love together.

Living together and sharing a life has brought about many rough patches. I don't know very many young married women and it is harder to relate to my single friends because our priorities are sooooo different. But I've learned to let my husband be my best friend and put family first :) As an expectant mother I have also learned to appreciate my relationships with older women; wives and mothers who may not share the knowledge of my generation but can TRULY relate to me.

My husband is everything I am not in so many ways -- he is pure in his thoughts of others (I can be cynical) , kind with his words (I am the blunt one who often finds myself regretting what I just said), he is logical (I am emotional) and the list goes on and on. You would think that the fact that his strengths tend to reveal my weaknesses would be a bad thing for me... but it is just the opposite. I see this as my opportunity to grow and become a better ME every single day. I am grateful to be on this journey and though it isn't always easy I embrace the process!

Our relationship is far from perfect, and YES marriage is a huge commitment but it is also the very best thing that has ever happened in my life! While I can understand this "new way" of thinking, waiting longer to get married, putting career first etc. I just can't help but SHOUT from the rooftops how wonderful it is to make this decision while young. Society may say many things and research may prove them -- but what does God say about it? Being a wife and expectant mother there is really only one way I can sum up how it feels -- "I was made for this".

I hope that my married readers can relate... and to my single readers - I hope that when it comes your way, you aren't afraid to take this leap of faith no matter what the world is saying about it today :)

XO,

~April