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| Yep, that's me! |
This might be a rambling / ranting one but I don't really care ... I need to let it out! So, have you heard that motherhood changes you? Well, I can confirm.. it really, truly does! And do you want to know the biggest thing it has changed about me? I'll tell you --- having Aiden has turned me into what I like to call "the mother lion". Here's how it works:
Person A admires my baby.... I allow person Person A to hold my baby.... my baby begins to scream while being held by Person A and I turn into "the mother lion", grab my baby and will be ready to pounce on Person A if there is any hesitation to hand him over.
Now, this didn't happen overnight... and when I allow myself to think back to those first few weeks of motherhood, I actually get angry at myself for not breaking out "the mother lion" sooner. If someone would grab my baby and go into another room, I would sit there choking on my anxiety, palms sweaty, heart beating, because I didn't want to make them feel bad or be seen as the overprotective new mother. My poor little newborn just needed to feel his Mama close to him and I didn't respond to his needs because of this. It seriously angers me when I think back on it but you live and you learn and I have learned!
This does not mean that I immediately jump to my baby's rescue the minute he cries... not at all. I will happily give whoever is holding him a chance to soothe him... but here are the things I am looking for in said person's response to the cries of my precious baby --- 1) that they actually care he is crying. This means NO laughing or not taking it seriously that my little one is upset. 2) that they acknowledge my place as the mother.. this means that if I am in the room don't go walking away to get him away from me thinking that will help. Chances are, he is crying because he isn't too fond of being held by you, so take it slow and let me smooth things over. If he sees that you are cool with his Mama, he will be cool with you too.
Seriously, it is annoying and I am sick and tired of explaining this to people. I get it - you want to hold the baby, he is cute and all that... trust me, I get it. BUT babies are human beings who also need their personal space respected. How would you feel if you were standing on 41st and Lexington, and an absolute stranger comes over and picks you up off the ground? I bet you'd start screaming and hitting the dude with you purse right? Well, a baby is no different. If he doesn't know you, he isn't going to want you to pick him up. You have to take it slow... talk to him, play with him and let him see that you are his mommy's friend.
And just because I want to put this in writing, let me make it clear --- I AM the mother lion... I AM my child's gatekeeper. All access to my child will be through me and his father. On our terms, and by our rules. There is no such thing as "entitlement" and I don't care who you are or how much DNA you share in common with him. For the next 18 years at least -- I am the boss of Aiden. Whoever cannot respect me, will have limited access to him. That is that.
ROAR!!! This should be plastered on Google's homepage: "BUT babies are human beings who also need their personal space respected. How would you feel if you were standing on 41st and Lexington, and an absolute stranger comes over and picks you up off the ground? I bet you'd start screaming and hitting the dude with you purse right? Well, a baby is no different." Awesome post!
ReplyDeleteHaha Thank you! =)
DeleteWow!!!! Ignorance at its best.
ReplyDeleteI commend you for actually posting a comment on my blog instead of interpreting and discussing it with other people. This is why I allowed your comment to be published. That said, "anonymous" just because you don't like my stand, it doesn't mean it is wrong. It is MY stand, MY blog, MY child, MY life. Not Yours. You are entitled to your opinion but it won't change my stand. I choose PEACE :)
DeleteApril...I commend you for your stand on your responsibility to your child! This is a precious human being, vulnerable and totally dependent on you and his Dad for every single need in his life. God has placed this very serious task in your hands. Early on in life kids need nurture from their parents to have a sense of security and love. It is wrong to take a crying child from his mother so abruptly. You are right... people need to win the child over with soft talk and gentleness with mom close by, eventually the child will see the person is not a threat. I am sorry that ignorant people do not understand, but you need to be true to Aiden by following your heart. Only you know the needs of your child! I am so proud of the mother you are!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your love and support and understanding. It means so much to me! Xoxo love you Titi!
DeleteApril - rest assured you are doing the right thing by your son! You are right, NO ONE is entitled to your child. If someone really wants to be in his life they will learn to respect you and your husband as the parents. He came out of your body and God has given you the natural instincts to know what is best for him. Stay strong and don't let anyone change your decisions as a mother! Aiden is so lucky to have such a strong mom to protect him :)
ReplyDeleteThese comments are blowing me away! Thanks so much for your support Sandy. I wish people understood that I am only thinking of what is best for my baby and I will put his well being above all else. Again, I am at peace and negative comments don't bother me. Thank you so much!
DeleteWhat's ignorant is assuming to know what the writer is speaking about. Going under anonymous is also the coward's way...just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteThis is totally true. I guarentee you that I will be the same way when I have a baby. He is yours and JJ's son and nobody else has any 'rights' to him. And to Mr. or Ms. Anonymous, it sounds like you may be the ignorant one.. just saying.
ReplyDelete