26 Months.

26 Months... that's right... Two years and 2 months... it is a beautiful period of time and 26 is a beautiful number... but let me start from the beginning.

There were so many things I was nervous about when I knew I was going to have my first child... being responsible for another human being in every possible way, well.. it is a pretty big deal.  I knew from the start that I wanted to nurse my baby and I had the amazing blessing of landing a blogging gig with an amazing company called Bravado Designs to chronicle my breastfeeding experience. It was the best thing that could have happened because the writing pulled me through many difficult moments.

Breastfeeding is something natural, so many women wrongly assume it will just be easy... I was one of them. I thought I would hold my tiny baby in my arms, he would gently latch on, drink until he was full and fall sleep peacefully. That is not quite how it works.

Aiden was born with an excellent rooting reflex. He was an eager nurser and for that I am thankful. The first several weeks of nursing were difficult to get the hang of and they were painful. I hate to break it to ya but it hurts ladies. Every lactation consultant will tell you that "a proper latch should never hurt" which is totally true but think about it... newborn baby, new mom... you are going to experience an improper latch or several in the beginning so yes, it hurts!

After about 4 weeks though, we found our rhythm and I started to really, really enjoy breastfeeding my baby. First of all, I felt so grateful that he was being fed with the most natural ingredients possible and I wasn't putting any processed food into his little body. That was such an amazing feeling... I'd done all the research and I was giving my baby the best shot at health. Second, that time we spent together was priceless. Breastfeeding really makes it so that you have to be physically near your baby for longer periods of time than bottle feeding and I am so glad for that.

When I learned that cow's milk should not be given until at least 12 months (1 year) of age, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed Aiden until his first birthday. I had no desire to give him infant formula so I'd wait until he was a year and slowly introduce cow's milk until he was weaned... Aiden had other plans!

I noticed that after his first birthday, he was not emotionally ready to stop nursing. He was attached, he found immense comfort in it and his eating habits were still not where I thought they would be. We naturally just kind of continued with breastfeeding.  I was nursing a toddler and trust me, no one was more surprised than me!

It was incredibly frustrating to hear comments from many individuals about my breastfeeding Aiden as a toddler. I never, ever, felt the need to hide it and was always ready to nurse my baby anywhere under his nursing cover. I know many people felt uncomfortable especially as Aiden began to walk and talk... I know that I was criticized ... I don't really care.

Deep down, I knew that Aiden still needed to nurse.. and quite frankly, the comments and silly statements I heard were from people who were simply uneducated on the matter.. so I took it with a grain of salt. I mean, I have education and research on my side and I know what I'm doing... so thank you for your opinion but it absolutely changes nothing.

The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for the first 2 years and beyond... in many countries all over the world, it is completely the norm to nurse into toddler-hood. In the U.S. it seems that bottle-feeding is still the norm and thus, those of us "weirdos" who breastfeed are well.. weirdos. But the U.S. is also one of the most unhealthy countries in the world eating foods that have actually been outlawed in other countries but that is a whole other can of worms. Extended breastfeeding offers many benefits to baby including protection from sickness, allergies, and even higher IQ's. Extended breastfeeding offers many benefits to mom as well including the lowered risk of breast and ovarian cancers... I'll take it! If you want to learn more about breastfeeding past the first year you can read these great articles here and here.

I am grateful that I decided not to give in to pressure based on the discomforts of others and make the decision that I feel was best for my son. Breastfeeding successfully is one of my proudest accomplishments and I can proudly say I did it for 26 months.

That's right... my big boy is fully weaned and no longer nursing. He just turned 27 months in July and has not nursed in over a month... I got to a point where I was very ready to end that part of our relationship and I needed to encourage Aiden to wean. It took lots of time and distraction but he did it and I am so proud of him for making this transition.  A lot of Moms say they cry and feel depressed once their children wean but I couldn't be happier! I am happy that Aiden was able to nurse for as long as he did and I am equally happy that we are done.

I love my baby boy so much... he is growing up so fast!

Catch Up Post: Holidays and Family Traditions

Why, HELLO Blog world! Have I missed you!

With the new position at work, my personal writing, family, and ministry projects it has been nearly impossible to find blogging time but I wanted to touch base and also ramble a bit about the Holidays.

Thanksgiving was wonderful!! We spent most of the day at our church serving a Thanksgiving meal to the community. Nearly 200 people came and were fed a warm meal that day. We also had a mini pantry so that they can take groceries home, live music, crayons and coloring sheets for the kids.. it was so much fun to be a part of. Here are some pics from that event:

All ready to get started. Green Beans!!

Awesome team of servers.

After church, we went to my mom's for dinner and some family time.  My aunt is visiting from Arizona so it was nice to spend a Thanksgiving with her after so many years. I can truly say that I am thankful for so much and it was amazing to be able to give back on this day. It really made me start to think about my little family and the traditions we are starting with Aiden. He is 19 months old now - such a big boy!

I want to make sure that we teach him to give back and perhaps make it a Thanksgiving tradition to volunteer or help out in some way. I think it is an important thing to teach him so I look forward to serving with my husband and our son in the future.

And speaking of traditions... what are your holiday traditions? I have so many that I grew up with and ever since creating a family of my own, we have been working on incorporating our old traditions but also coming up with some brand new ones! The beauty of family traditions are that you can enjoy them as a family. One thing I don't want are for my traditions to become a routine or even worse.. an obligation. What we do, should always be out of LOVE and not a sense of feeling obligated to attend a function or guilted into it for that matter.  I would hate for Aiden to grow up and feel like he "has no choice" but to come  home for the Holidays. I want him to have fond memories of the Holidays and his traditions as a child... it's time to make memories!!

For Christmas Eve, we will be letting Aiden open up gifts from extended family and friends. Eventually, this will happen at midnight but while he is still a baby, he can open gifts before bed. We'll have dinner and some fun and maybe we'll even leave cookies and milk out for Santa :)

On Christmas morning, we will have a family breakfast and open up gifts together under the tree. Aiden can get his gifts from "Santa" (mama and dada) and we can spend the day in our PJ's, just us.

Our Tree- Christmas 2012 :)

I'd like to eventually start some Holiday activities together... maybe an art project or a favorite recipe we create together. Who knows... but for now, I think our traditions are starting to shape up. I am so very grateful for my little family and the opportunity to celebrate and be together during these special times. I just LOVE the holidays!!

Catch ya later,
~A

Toddlers!

Ever since Aiden turned 1, we have entered a totally different realm of babyhood.. we have actually come out of babyhood and entered the realm of (tun, ta ta) TODDLER! And I guess the definition of toddler would be "one who toddles" which he definitely does but it is so much more than that. Ever since his birthday, it's like the clouds have parted and he has discovered the world in a whole new way. It is like he has discovered himself and found his voice (literally and figuratively) and there is just no stopping him now!

Aiden is into EVERYTHING! He opens the cabinets, he goes into the toilet, he runs away from us,  he knows what we mean when we say NO and has a complete fit if we say it. He falls and bumps his head, cries about it and then gets back up to do the very same thing again -- such a boy!!  My favorite is actually when he'll pick something up off the floor and slowly bring it up to his mouth, waiting for one of us to tell him not to eat it.. it is so cute and funny to watch. The thing is, at only 13 months old Aiden is starting to assert himself and his personality is shining through.

So far I can tell you that he is a complete jokester - he loves to make us laugh and does so on purpose. He is cuddly and will just run up and give hugs when he feels like it. He is determined - once he sets his mind on a "project" he keeps going until achieving his goal. He is demanding - pay attention to him! And he is vocal about his current state of happiness. He is smart and curious and therefore requires a lot to keep him busy. Books, blocks, toys, music, and yes, ELMO (Sesame Street episodes) are all in full affect when we are at home.  He loves to explore and I love watching him discover more about the world around him.




I got some good advice from a friend about letting Aiden explore while still setting up boundaries. He said that it is just better to child-proof everything and create the safest environment possible. "Make it so that you don't have to say NO"  and I loved that advice. We still tell Aiden "no" but I do try my best to make his surroundings (at home) safe for him to explore freely. I love that he is a thinker and I want to always cultivate that and encourage it. I feel like constantly keeping him in a play pen or behind a gate just so that I won't have to bother is not the best way to do that.

Aiden loves to be outdoors too. He goes to the park almost daily, story time weekly at the library, and I am so excited for the weather warming up because we got a membership to the Bronx Zoo! He just loves to look at things and touch them and he is repeating words like crazy. I know that this is because he gets exposure to so many different things and I love that.  When it is necessary for him to be confined, like in the car seat for example, he is NOT happy about it. We've found that playing music in the car and giving him a book helps and even opening his window so he can gaze outside. That will usually settle him down for a car ride. Any additional tips on that are welcome! We have some road trips planned and I will take all the tips I can get!

Anyway, so far I really LOVE being mom to a toddler =) He is learning and growing so much and I still have no idea how this has happened so fast?!

Painting with Daddy... I made this paint from flour and water so he totally ate some and I was OK with it :)

Using crayons for the first time! 

Happy in the car seat - I was making him laugh!

Sigh... I just love him...   any ideas on how else to keep my little man busy? What do you think about setting boundaries for toddlers and giving them space to explore? I would love to hear from you!

Mother's Day Week: Selfishness gets a Reality Check

 As selfishness and complaint pervert the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision. --Helen Keller

 This weekend is Mother's Day and I have lots of thoughts and feelings about it so I think I will write about them in a series of posts. Two, maybe three leading up to Mother's Day and of course a recap of how my celebrations went!

Something I've really been thinking about though has been selfishness. And not the kind that people usually talk about. Not the self-centered, narcissistic, lack of empathy kind that you immediately know is wrong. While that kind of selfishness certainly is out there, it isn't the kind that has me thinking. No, I'm thinking about our basic needs and desires .. the "selfishness" we exhibit on a daily basis by simply fulfilling those wants and needs.

There are times every single day, where I have put my own needs above other people. This is not something that anyone would say is wrong it is simply necessary. For example: if I have not had lunch and am hungry, but my friends want to go out I will say "I need to eat first". I have a basic need to fulfill and currently, that need goes above what others may want. You wouldn't normally call that selfishness, but according to the definition it does qualify. Sometimes it is necessary to put our own needs on the front lines.. it is prioritizing those needs along with the needs of others that can get tricky. Most people struggle with this in one way or another and I am sure you can think of times when you thought you needed to "take care of yourself" but took that a little too far. That is where selfishness overpowers empathy and consideration for others. That is where it can ugly!

Since I became a mom, I have been amazed at how quickly my selfishness has been cut out of the picture. There is simply no room for it anymore .. My basic needs and desires that I had once put on the front lines, have taken a back seat to the needs and desires of someone else and in every possible way imaginable! When my son needs something, there is no telling him "I need to eat first" or even "I need to use the bathroom first" --- now that's a reality check!

My basic needs for sleep, food, warmth, shelter, can all be met AFTER I have met them for Aiden. I'm sure many moms can relate when they think of the times they couldn't take a shower or had to scarf down a bowl of cereal because the baby needed them. Well, what has that done for your selfishness?

For me, it has caused me to see the world through completely different eyes. It has changed the way I relate to people, it has changed my reaction to news or even a sad movie.. it has changed my tolerance for others and the depth of my relationships. More importantly, it has caused me to see myself through different eyes. When I am willing to wipe the slate clean and put every  need and desire away to take care of my son, when I look at him and know that I would give up my very own life for him, I can see myself through eyes that are not my own.

My selfishness has changed since becoming a mother and that transition has not always been easy...  Sometimes a long shower or a trip to the nail salon has helped to balance things out.. but still, there is nothing that could be more important than taking care of that little boy of mine.. knowing he is happy and healthy is more than I could ever hope for.

Aiden's 1st Birthday: Recap!

There is so much I want to say about this party... it was fun, it was amazing, Aiden really had a blast...

The morning of Aiden's birthday (and the party) we got up and I made him a birthday breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast. My mom came over to watch him so that me and the hubster could go to the church and start prepping for the party. We had a few awesome hands on deck - our children's director and a good friend who is a party planner actually took charge and what an amazing job she did! Aiden's God parents, his auntie, and his other grandma all came early to help with set up.

Cupcakes - my fondant toppers got lost in the mail! This was probably the worst thing that happened but I printed out pictures of the Wonder Pets, taped a tooth pick to each one and stuck them in the cupcakes. Then sprinkled each with a few M&Ms and viola! It still looked really cute though I did miss the fondant toppers.

Snacks - we spent a lot of the morning preparing ants on a log and fruit kabobs. We also had animal crackers with nutella as dip. Can you say yummy?!

Food - was super easy. I picked up sandwich platters from Subway and some great people contributed chicken wings and potato salad as sides. The kids got 100% juice boxes and the adults got water bottles.

Decor - was amazing! A friend of mine sketched a huge picture of the Wonder Pets and painted it. It looked awesome! Then we had balloon towers, inflatable animals, all kinds of amazing stuff.

Guests - we had about 25 kids, their parents, family and some close friends. I was so happy because two of my aunts who live in Arizona were actually in town and decided to come along with my Godparents from California. It was so wonderful to have them there.  It was kind of a big party and I really felt blessed because so many people love Aiden and came to celebrate with us. His next few birthdays will be much more low key but this was #1, we had to go big! The kids all seemed to have a great time - they had a ball pit, face painting, a Wonder Pets episode on the big screen and some fun goodie bags with their Wonder Pets t-shirts. 

My favorite parts of the day were 1) when Aiden arrived to his party. He immediately started pointing at everything and smiling and blabbing excitedly. 2) when we sang "Happy Birthday" and Aiden devoured his cake. It was his first time having cake and he loved it.

And here are some pics -- My wonderful friend came and played photographer for the party and she did an amazing job!!

Mama and Dada blew out the candle.. he laughed!

The cake table - cupcakes for all the guests and an applesauce "smash" cake on top for the birthday boy

He pointed at everything! My boy in his bday ensemble

There was a slide show with pictures of Aiden's 1st year on the big screen

Food table

Fruit Kabobs - they were a hit!

He made all the hard work worth it... he loves Wonder Pets

The water bottle labels were a last minute inspiration. I made them super quick and it was great!

My family :) We are so blessed with our Aiden

He didn't do much "smashing" to his smash cake.. but he did enjoy eating it! It was made with applesauce instead of sugar and all natural frosting. It was yummy - thanks to his God-mama!

 Ohhh yea and about the presents - we asked guests to consider giving a donation to a new after school program that our church is launching in the Fall. That worked out great! We are going to submit the money this Sunday and I am so glad people responded well to this. I want to start a tradition on Aiden's birthdays where he somehow gives back to a good cause instead of just receiving gifts. He did also get a bunch of great gifts - we have very kind, generous family and friends. Thank you all so much!

I am glad this party is over - Aiden had a blast and so did we!

Mommy Emotions

My baby is turning ONE tomorrow.. 1! While I will still gladly state his age in months - "Aiden is 12 months, Aiden is 13 months, Aiden is 465 months" I cannot change the fact that he has been on this planet, in our home, in my life for one full year. I have been reflecting on this year and I admit, I have been doing a ton of crying.

When Aiden was first placed in my arms, I cannot say that the clouds parted and I had this glorious feeling of attachment and love for him. I have heard so many birth stories and have really felt guilty about not being able to say the same thing. I was crying and anxiously looking over at him while he was being weighed and evaluated. It was surreal... this little, tiny, baby had just come out of me. When he was placed on my chest, he was already rooting and lifting his head.. the nurse was wiping him down while I held him and I just kept saying "Hi sweetie, Hi Aiden"... at the same time, my doctor was stitching me up and my epidural had worn off so I felt EVERYTHING. I thought I was going to drop the baby because of the pain so I simply could not enjoy that moment.

Then came the recovery... boy was it a doozy. I had an overwhelming feeling of guilt because my body would not cooperate with what my mind wanted to do. Every time my baby cried, I wanted to run over to him but I could barely walk. My husband and my family did pitch in to help during those first few weeks and it was probably the most difficult couple of weeks I've ever experienced. I was in pain, I was emotional, I was overwhelmed and most of all I was TERRIFIED because this tiny life had been entrusted to me.

Move on past those first 2-3 weeks and I finally started to feel like a mommy. Aiden and I began to find our rhythm and all of those huge feelings of love and attachment came flooding in. I became a lioness, a protector, his comforter, his everything. And in that same way, he became my world as well. We spent countless moments together, cuddling on the couch or nursing in the rocker. I would stay awake at night just so that I could listen to him breathing and my heart would dance every time he cracked a tiny smile in his sleep.

I realize that my story may not be like that of most moms I know... or maybe it is, but they feel like they can't share about it truthfully. I don't think I instantly bonded with my baby and sometimes when I think about that I beat myself up about it... but then, I think of what we have now.. I think of how those eyes light up whenever he sees me and when he cries and says "Mama" because he has no doubt that I will be there to scoop him up into my arms. I think of that and I realize that it really doesn't matter how we started because look at how far we have come!!

Aiden came into my life and he changed the way I think about everything... he made me realize what is truly important and he gave me a new sense of who I want to be. He brought me even closer to my husband, he made us a family and he filled a void we never even realized we had.

This tiny baby who I brought home from the hospital one year ago, is now a growing, thriving, unique little person... I am so in awe of him and I am so thankful to God for bringing him into our lives.

Check out the video below to see what happened a few nights ago when we got home from work:


 


Just a little over 24 hours until his party tomorrow! I am working out all the tiny details and so excited to celebrate my baby boy. Pray for me people! Lol !!

5 Days Until BIRTHDAY!!

Aiden's party is on Saturday and it is going to drive me nuts!! I need a place to just run through and list what I have accomplished so far and what is still missing. What better place than my blog right?

The Ensemble...

Aiden's look for his party - "super hero chic". He is going to be rocking the Carter's birthday onesie with his best pair of jeans and a pair of Chucks. His fun piece will be the Wonder Pets cape! Girls get to wear a birthday tutu or tiara, well Aiden will wear his birthday cape :)

Carter's Birthday Boy Onesie

Red Wonder Pets Cape (Tuck)

Chucks!

The Eatables...

My goal is to keep the menu simple, healthy and kid friendly. I am going to buy water bottles and 100% juice boxes and there may be some potato salad / chicken wings added to this for adults. The cupcakes will really be the only sweets along with whatever candy I decide to put into the favor bags.

Sandwiches

Ants on a Log

Fruit Kabobs

Wonder Pets cupcake toppers - Fondant

This Pic is my inspiration... cupcake tower with Aiden's smash cake on top. We'll see!

The Fun...

We have lots of fun activities planned. There will be a parachute play time, a soft play area for the crawlers, possibly a ball pit and an arts and crafts section. My main focus for this party is the kiddos and making sure they have a great time!

Labels for the kids goodie bags

Each goodie bag will have a Wonder Pets t-shirt for that kid!

We will probably play an episode on the big screen at the church

Aiden's aunt (my very talented sister-in-law) will be painting faces that day

I am going to be putting goodie bags together on Friday night and snacks on Saturday morning. My wonderful friend is helping by taking charge of the decorating and the T-shirts for the kids. My other wonderful friend is going to be our photographer that day and my husband will be putting together a slide show of pictures of Aiden throughout his first year.

I have to admit, I thought those people who planned big 1st birthday parties for their kids were kind of crazy but as I mentioned previously, that was before I became a parent myself and fell in love with this amazing, perfect little boy. I am totally crazy so don't judge me :) His next few birthdays will be super low-key, I promise!

Look at that face! I would do anything for that face!

Mompetition & Stupid Comments

What is it with moms and this whole "mompetition" thing? I get that it is helpful to compare notes and it feels great to have some support from other women who understand, but why can't people just accept that every child, every mom, every family has to do what works for them and that is just fine?  It really grinds my gears when another mom talks about her baby and her way of doing things like it is doctrine or something.

It can just be really discouraging to hear certain comments... and it can be difficult to not let myself get sucked in to thinking or feeling like I am not doing the right thing as a mom. Today, my co-worker boastfully told me that at bedtime, she "gives her 4 month old a kiss, lays him in his crib, turns out the light and walks away."  Then she added that he sleeps through the entire night and if he cries, she just lets him CIO (cry it out) until he falls back to sleep on his own. "If you keep letting him sleep in your bed, he will never leave" she told me... "He is almost 1, aren't you going to stop breastfeeding now?"  Ohhhh and my favorite "Don't you think it's gross when women keep breastfeeding up until 18 months?!"

Aiden is almost 11 months old now and personally, I think he is doing great. He is so smart and physically strong. He is cruising all over the apartment using the walls to hold on to... I know he is going to start walking very soon. He can do the sign for "milk" and he also says a few words: Mama, Dada, Up, No, among others. He eats all different types of foods and he drinks water from a cup. He loves to dance and he loves to play "mama's gonna get you" and run away from me. He gives kisses (besitos) and hugs (tantos) and he is just a super happy, smart, and loving baby. I am so proud to be his Mama and I am blessed with other mom friends who celebrate these things with me...as I celebrate their kids with them and we encourage each other... so why do some moms feel the need to try and rain on my parade?

The sleeping thing has been honestly the hardest part of my last year as a new mom. I thought for sure that my baby would be sleeping through the night by now... but he isn't and honestly, I don't know how close we are to that.

Ever since he was 3 months old, I tried to establish a bedtime routine. He gets a warm bath, a massage with lotion, PJ's on and then we sit in the rocking chair and listen to bedtime music. He nurses for a while and then usually will drift off to sleep by 8pm.  I put him down in his crib and he stays there until around midnight when he wakes up to nurse. At that point, I am already asleep so my husband usually goes in to his room to get him and brings him to our bed. Then he stays in bed with us for the rest of the night.

My sweet boy in his crib with his stuffed monkey :)

We actually love to wake up to Aiden in the mornings. He is so happy and it is probably the best part of my day. It is also really nice to get time with him since I am away working 40 hours a week plus 10 hours of commuting. Nursing and bed sharing has been our way of bonding and I am grateful for that.

Now let me just say -- Aiden is getting bigger and he is starting to really take over our bed. He moves all over the place and kicks Daddy in the back so we realize that it may soon be time for a change... but I don't have it in me to just put him in his crib and let him cry it out.  All I can do is create a soothing, relaxing environment for sleep and try to remain as consistent as possible. I am also trying to create other associations for him when it comes to sleep that are not my boobs. His night time music, his stuffed monkey etc.  And I'm not saying that anyone who practices CIO is cruel, I'm just saying that it won't work for my family. There is loads of research out there in favor of cry it out and against it.. and both sides have convincing arguments... but CIO for me, goes against my instincts and I am committed to following my instincts as a parent.

I had to just walk away when my co-worker was talking to me today... especially when she said "why don't you just give him formula so that he can sleep all night?" .. because what I REALLY wanted to say was -- "it takes babies longer to digest formula so that's why formula fed infants go longer between feedings."  But I didn't say that... I won't return judgment with judgment... I won't get sucked in..  Woooossaa!

I know that eventually we will figure out how to get Aiden sleeping in his own bed and when it is the right time for him... In the interim, I pray that God gives me the patience and strength to do what is best for him. Do any of my readers have baby sleep advice? How about advice for handling stupid comments from other moms? LOL

1st Birthday Party: Becoming the crazy lady

A few years ago, I was helping my friend plan her wedding. We went out to take a look at some different venue options and ended up choosing a beautiful catering hall in Jersey City. I remember walking into that place and just saying "WOW" because it was pretty impressive. From the extravagant garden outside to the candlelit lounge area complete with a baby grand piano ..I loved it! That day, we went into the manager's office and my friend signed a contract to make it official - this was the place she would have her wedding! The manager showed us all of the rooms available and in the "grand ballroom" there was another party being set up. We were allowed to go inside and to my surprise the hall was adorned with zoo animals and different color balloons. I was kind of shocked when I looked at the three tier cake with a huge #1 candle on it -- this was some baby's first birthday party!

Of course, this was before I had a child of my own so I vowed never to go crazy and throw my future son or daughter a big 1st birthday party... after all, they aren't even going to remember it right?!  I would never, ever, turn into that crazy mom who spent hours curling ribbon and obsessing over every single detail of her child's birthday party... not me... never... ha, crazy lady!

Well, fast forward a few years and we are coming up on Aiden's very 1st birthday party!  I mean, it is a once in a lifetime, special experience for him -- he will be the birthday boy for the very first time! He is going to get to try cake and be the guest of honor.. of course I need to make it amazing for him!  And do we really have proof, and I mean HARD evidence that a child doesn't remember their first birthday party? What if the memories of our first birthdays linger somewhere in our subconscious and were a part of shaping who we turned out to be? LOL okay maybe not, but still this is important!

Aiden's party is quickly approaching and I will admit, I am becoming the crazy lady! We are doing a "Wonder Pets" theme since that is his favorite show and I am sooooo excited about it. I ordered invitations with his picture on them and I would totally post a pic of them here but I don't know how to crop out the address and I can't have you all showing up to the party... we won't have enough food!

The Wonderpets are kind of like super-heroes :)

And speaking of food I am so excited to plan this menu. Aiden is going to get applesauce cake since it will be his first time having something so sweet and I want to limit his sugar. But I have lots of healthy snacks planned for the kids like - ants on a log, nutella and banana sandwiches, veggie sticks and fruit kabobs!  I have even been singing "Happy Birthday" to Aiden in preparation and am trying to teach him how to blow out his candle. He woke up a few mornings ago and started blowing on my face... LOL .. we'll see!

Anyway, I've gotta go but say a little prayer for me that I don't really become the crazy lady and still manage to throw my boy a really fun and special 1st birthday party :)

XO,

Weaning on my Mind...

Aiden is ten months old now! I am seriously blown away when I look at him and realize how quickly he is growing. The time really does go by fast and we are just two months away from his first birthday. I've already ordered invitations and am planning his party which is an entirely different blog post, but something else that Aiden's first birthday brings to mind is --- weaning!

I came into this breastfeeding journey without a plan really. I knew from research that breast is best, but no one in my family had breastfed their kids so my only knowledge was what I had read and from friends who were breastfeeding their children. I thought that I would commit to breastfeeding Aiden until he was 6 months old but we got off to a rough start and I only got him off supplemental formula when he was 2 months old. I thought "why stop so soon when it took us a while to get here?" So we kept going...

Just finished nursing at my friend Quiana's Holiday Party. Lol!

I'm glad we are still breastfeeding and the World Health Organization actually recommends breastfeeding for two years! But honestly, I cannot see myself continuing until Aiden is two years old. I want so much to do what is best for him but is it wrong to say that I want something for me also? It ain't easy being someones food source and I think I have just about had it. Here's why:

1) The Pump -- I work from 9-5:30 every day with a one hour commute in each direction. You do the math... I spend lots of time away from Aiden so I have to pump at the office to maintain milk supply and make sure that Aiden has bottles for when I am away.  Pumping is really, really, annoying! My supply has gone down considerably and I believe it is due to the pump. It's like my body knows that I am not really nursing a baby and produces less milk for the pump. I nurse Aiden on weekends all day and we never have problems with milk supply.

2) Bottles and Babysitting -- because I need to save the expressed breast milk for when I go to work, I can hardly ever get a night out with my husband, or a dinner out with a friend. Right now, I literally have enough bottles in my fridge for Aiden to get through TODAY. Whatever I bring home today will be for tomorrow and so on. We used to have a freezer supply but somehow we went through it and it is extremely stressful to have to worry about this. What if my train home is delayed? It's like, I have no wiggle room... the worst part is that people don't understand this. I can't go out! I find myself explaining over and over why I can't make it to something because there just aren't enough bottles to leave Aiden with a babysitter.

3) Teeth -- mostly, I LOVE nursing Aiden. He is such a wiggly, squirmy little guy and he loves to get into everything so during breastfeeding is the only time he will stay still. He will let me hold him and cuddle him and I love it... but now, he has teeth! He started showing teething symptoms at around 6 weeks old and I thought he'd be an early teether but month after month would go by and nothing. On his 9 month birthday, we noticed his first tooth poking through (the top middle one) and by his 10 month birthday he now has 5 teeth! Two on top, three on the bottom. It was not an easy month for him but he now loves to BITE things.. including me. This is NOT cool.

4) Night time -- We co-sleep with Aiden and this is mostly because he is still waking up throughout the night to nurse. I love him to death but I am sort of ready to have my own bed back. Honestly, in the middle of the night I go into "survival mode" and just do whatever works to get him back to sleep quickly. This is usually just sticking a boob in his mouth. But eventually, he is going to need to sleep in his own room and I am dreading the process of getting him used to this. I think that if he is weaned it will start to move us in that direction.  My approach on this is very "Dr. Sears" so I really want to do this in a way that will be gradual and show Aiden that his room is awesome and he is safe in there by himself.

5) Solids -- Aiden has taken to solids like a champ! He is now beginning to master finger foods (I have been terrified of choking so I waited to introduce them until he had teeth) and he loves to eat! He eats fruit, veggies, grains, protein, dairy (cheese and yogurt), and he loves to drink water from a cup. I feel like he is getting a lot of nutrition from solids so I am not worried about that.

I know that breastfeeding is more of a comfort for Aiden and while that may seem less important than nutrition, I think it is equally if not more important. I don't want weaning to be a traumatic experience for him and I do believe from research that breastfed babies actually turn out to be more independent and emotionally secure children because of it. I am trying to stay focused here and do what is best for Aiden... but I am so ready for the next two months to fly by so that we can get started on weaning.

If anyone has any advice... please share! 

My Little Valentine

 It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

I'm not one of those who can easily hide

I don't have much money but boy if I did

I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again no

Or a man who makes potions in a traveling showI know it's not much, but it's the best I can do My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is, now you're in the world.

Happy Valentine's Day!

 I Love you Aiden Kyle!

A Mother's Breastfeeding Journey: My final post for Bravado

I’ve been taking some time to look back over the last 9 months since having my baby and to be honest; those first days are already kind of hazy in my memory. I wish I can relive the moment when Aiden was first placed in my arms but here I am, the mother to this growing boy with a budding personality and I am in awe every single day. He is by far the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and I am so grateful that I get to be his Mama. He started cutting his first tooth this past weekend and all he wanted was for me to hold him and cuddle him. I know that our bond is special and for that I know I can thank breastfeeding.

We got off to a rough start and there were many times I thought that I would just quit, but somehow we made it and I achieved my goal of breastfeeding my baby. I can honestly say that it is my proudest accomplishment. I love nursing!



It isn’t easy being a working mom and spending hours separated from Aiden. It isn’t easy to pump at the office and I’m not going to pretend here --- most times I really hate pumping. But when I get home and my baby boy starts lifting his arms and calling “mama” (yep, he is saying mama now) there is no better feeling than curling up with him under a warm blanket and nursing. Well, come to think of it there is one better feeling – knowing that he is getting the very best nutrition from nature’s best milk. I am so very grateful that I have had the chance to breastfeed my son and I went from being “on the fence” about it to being so passionate about it.

This experience has been one of the best of my life and I am so happy that I got to share it with the Bravado community. It was the support from my readers, fellow bloggers, and friends at Bravado that got me through some very tough moments and I will always be grateful for that. This year, I plan to become a certified lactation counselor and share my experience and knowledge with other women. I hope I can help others the way the Bravado team has helped me.


Aiden is growing and happy and thriving… we’ve got 3 more months until his first birthday and I am already planning his party! He is eating more solids, drinking expressed breast milk throughout the day and nursing at night. I am in no rush to wean him though I do plan to introduce whole cow’s milk when he turns 1. We are going to take it slow and just see what happens… I have no problems nursing him into toddlerhood. We’ll see!

The Mother Lion

Yep, that's me!

This might be a rambling / ranting one but I don't really care ... I need to let it out! So, have you heard that motherhood changes you? Well, I can confirm.. it really, truly does! And do you want to know the biggest thing it has changed about me? I'll tell you --- having Aiden has turned me into what I like to call "the mother lion". Here's how it works:

Person A admires my baby.... I allow person Person A to hold my baby.... my baby begins to scream while being held by Person A and I turn into "the mother lion", grab my baby and will be ready to pounce on Person A if there is any hesitation to hand him over.

Now, this didn't happen overnight... and when I allow myself to think back to those first few weeks of motherhood, I actually get angry at myself for not breaking out "the mother lion" sooner. If someone would grab my baby and go into another room, I would sit there choking on my anxiety, palms sweaty, heart beating, because I didn't want to make them feel bad or be seen as the overprotective new mother. My poor little newborn just needed to feel his Mama close to him and I didn't respond to his needs because of this. It seriously angers me when I think back on it but you live and you learn and I have learned!

This does not mean that I immediately jump to my baby's rescue the minute he cries... not at all. I will happily give whoever is holding him a chance to soothe him... but here are the things I am looking for in said person's response to the cries of my precious baby --- 1) that they actually care he is crying. This means NO laughing or not taking it seriously that my little one is upset. 2) that they acknowledge my place as the mother.. this means that if I am in the room don't go walking away to get him away from me thinking that will help. Chances are, he is crying because he isn't too fond of being held by you, so take it slow and let me smooth things over. If he sees that you are cool with his Mama, he will be cool with you too.

Seriously, it is annoying and I am sick and tired of explaining this to people. I get it - you want to hold the baby, he is cute and all that... trust me, I get it. BUT babies are human beings who also need their personal space respected. How would you feel if you were standing on 41st and Lexington, and an absolute stranger comes over and picks you up off the ground? I bet you'd start screaming and hitting the dude with you purse right? Well, a baby is no different. If he doesn't know you, he isn't going to want you to pick him up. You have to take it slow... talk to him, play with him and let him see that you are his mommy's friend.

And just because I want to put this in writing, let me make it clear --- I AM the mother lion... I AM my child's gatekeeper. All access to my child will be through me and his father. On our terms, and by our rules. There is no such thing as "entitlement" and I don't care who you are or how much DNA you share in common with him. For the next 18 years at least  -- I am the boss of Aiden. Whoever cannot respect me, will have limited access to him. That is that.

Don't mess with the Mother Lion!

Operation "Hungry Baby": Homemade Baby Food & Breastfeeding

Happy New Year!

I can't believe it's January already and Aiden will be 9 months in just a few weeks... Seriously guys, he is growing so fast and it makes me kind of sad. I love getting to know him more and learning his personality but I try to think back to the very first time the nurse put him in my arms and it gets a little hazy. I want to go back and relive that moment so much... I look at him, all 21 pounds of him and still cannot believe he was once a tiny, sleepy newborn not even a year ago.

A year! He will be one year old in just over three months and YOU KNOW I am already planning his birthday party... but that's an entirely different blog post... I wanted to give some updates on how it is going with "operation hungry baby" because it seems that the biggest part of my job as a new mom has been to nourish this little hungry boy.

Breastfeeding:

Yes, we are still nursing! I find it strange when people ask things like "you are STILL breastfeeding?" because my son is still an infant. Not that it would be less strange for them to ask when he is a toddler. But anyway, we are still nursing and I am over the moon about it! Giving my baby only breast milk (no formula) was a goal that I was not so sure I would reach.... we supplemented his feedings with formula for the first 8 weeks and I was NOT happy about it. But somehow, with some determination and lots of prayer I was able to ditch the formula and get Aiden on breast milk exclusively. It was so important to me to give him the VERY BEST and I know that God created this milk specifically for Aiden... Since I was pregnant with him, I have been very conscious of what goes inside of him because after all, he is dependent on me for all of his nourishment. That is a responsibility I have not taken lightly. I pump at the office throughout the day and store Aiden's milk in the freezer. He gets bottles throughout the day and then he nurses when I get home in the evening. He still nurses several times throughout the night and I hope to continue for as long as we can. I have no problems nursing Aiden until he is 2 years old and NO I do not think that is weird. For now, the plan is that we will introduce cow's milk when he turns 1 and then we'll see how it goes. I'm so grateful that I have been able to continue nursing despite the obstacles. I still can't understand the weirdness around breastfeeding but I hope to inspire and change the mind sets of people around me if I can. I feed Aiden on demand, anywhere we are. In church, at the doctor's office, the supermarket, - everywhere! I have a nursing cover and thankfully I have never forgotten it but if one day I don't have it and Aiden needs to eat, we'll just break out the mardi-gras beads cause "the girls" are coming out! Haha.



Baby Food:

Aiden started "solids" at 6 months and again, I am really conscious of what goes into him. After lots of reading we decided that Aiden would get homemade baby food and can I just say-- I LOVE IT! It is so much fun to cook for him and it is something I really, truly enjoy. We started with brown rice cereal that I mill into powder and then cook on the stove top for him. I also make him oatmeal this way and he loves it. After introducing all the basic "starter" foods like bananas, avocados, sweet potatoes, peas, etc. we have started to mix things together and make some pretty awesome combos. I use breast milk when pureeing the veggies and water for the fruit. Aiden has also had pureed turkey and chicken. He is starting egg yolks this week... We use organic chicken/turkey/eggs because of growth hormone concerns. Just last night he had pureed chicken and apples for dinner and he ate it all! Another really great thing has been organic whole milk yogurt. We buy the Stonyfield plain yogurt and it is great. He enjoys eating it plain and it is also really great for mixing with everything! We mix yogurt into his veggies, fruits, cereals, and it really makes a difference. The main thing I look for with yogurt is that it have lots of good bacteria to help break things down in Aiden's tummy and keep him regular. Stonyfield yogurt has 6 active cultures and that is proven to aid digestive health. I do plan to compile my baby food recipes at some point but here are just a few things Aiden really enjoys:



Butternut Squash

Chicken and Apples

Turkey and Sweet Potatoes

Turkey and Peas

Oatmeal and Nectarines

Brown Rice and Pears

Plums



It takes me a few hours every weekend (after a trip to the supermarket) to peel, core, chop up and steam all the food, then blend everything into perfect purees! It can be a lot of work depending on the food and sometimes I'd much rather just hang out with Aiden instead on my day off but making sure he gets wholesome, homemade food definitely beats out that desire. I have these really great baby food containers that seal great and go right in the freezer. I label everything in freezer bags and it is all ready to go. The containers are super practical and easy to take when on the go too. We have a little ice pack and they go right in with spoons, a bib etc. I always pack a few spoonful’s of yogurt when we go out too!



And another really cool thing -- the MESH FEEDER. Aiden enjoys bananas in his, slices of pear, and his favorite - ice! It really soothes him and even though he still has no teeth, I am convinced he is experiencing teething symptoms. He really loves to suck on ice from his mesh feeder and I love how happy it makes him.



Aiden also gets to drink water now and get this -- he won't take it in a bottle or Sippy cup! He wants to drink from a cup just like grownups do. So we fill his little blue cup with water and let him go for it. He gets so excited when he sees anyone drinking from a cup. It's to the point where if I am going to be drinking something in front of him, I better have his cup with water ready. Breast milk and water are his only two beverages and I plan on waiting a long, long while before introducing juice. There's really no nutritional value so I don't see the point. Some other things I plan to wait on are - white rice and white potato.



Overall, "operation hungry baby" is going really well and he really isn't a very hungry baby at all. He loves to eat and I LOVE to feed him =)

Tales of a Working Mama or Simply: I am TIRED!

I have a 6 month old son and while he does eat some baby food, he is breastfed exclusively. This means, no baby formula...


I have a 6 month old son who is supposed to drink milk that I pump for him and store in the refrigerator while I am away at work. I'm away from 7:45am until about 7pm and he is supposed to drink his bottles with Grandma.


He does NOT want his milk in a bottle... he is all like "WTH is this crap Grandma?" and he turns his nose up at it and seals his mouth shut and she has to perform all sorts of magic tricks to get him to drink it.

Drinking his Milky on the swings at the park

I have a 6 month old son who knows that I will be home eventually so he just waits until the evening to get his milk from "the source" instead. Since he isn't drinking much during the day, he makes up for it by getting up a lot more throughout the night.


I have a 6 month old son who wakes up every 2 or 3 hours and I haven't had a full night's sleep in so long and I am TIRED.


I have a 6 month old son who is "teething" and so when he wakes up to drink milk he sometimes cannot because his gums are hurting. I have to soothe him with some teething tablets, then feed him, and if that doesn't work I wake Daddy up so he can hold him and walk him around.


I do NOT sleep anymore....


I am TIRED.


I have a job at an amazing company and an awesome boss who has tolerated me for way too long.


I get to work late EVERY DAY... I drink too much coffee.


I am TIRED.


I have no time to iron my clothes or comb my hair... sometimes I put a little eye concealer and mascara on in the subway. On a really good day, there is even some blush! I am so hot I know.

Me in my cubicle today w/ my non-hairdo complete with dark circles. I have lip gloss on though!

I was in the conference room in a meeting today that went a little longer than I expected. You see, I have set times to go pump milk because my body isn't aware that my 6 month old is not with me. My body just knows that at certain times, we make milk and today that meeting cut right into the "milk time"


I have a hot pink blouse covered in milk now... I hope I was discreet about it during the meeting when I pulled my sweater closed and crossed my arms and continued talking with my company President about how I will be amazing at running my department while my supervisor is out for the next 3 months.


My supervisor is going on maternity leave and I have to juggle being a mom and being a good employee because I can't let anyone down.


But, I am TIRED.


I always forget something - my keys, my metro card, my wallet, my socks... yep I forgot socks today.

Yea that's right I took a pic of my feet. I wear basic black patent flats almost every day because I am sooo not a "shoe girl". My feet always hurt :/

I am TIRED ... just call me "Zombie Mom"

I need a manicure and an eyebrow wax soooo bad. I look like Burt.

As in "Burt and Ernie"... stay with me people!

I need a haircut too because apparently I am NOW after 6 months, experiencing postpartum hair loss.

When I get home, my boy just wants to be attached to me (both literally and figuratively) and I don't blame him... He has no idea why I up and leave him in the morning.

He fights his bed time because he hasn't seen me all day but he is TIRED.

When I get home, I have to run and cook dinner because I need food to survive. I also have to talk to my husband because after all, he needs me too.

This Mom stuff is no joke... this Career stuff is just too much some days. Today is one of those days. I am TIRED.

When I get home, I open the door and exclaim "Hi Honey!" and I see those blue eyes light up and that toothless smile and I hear my boy give a high-pitch belly laugh and realize that it's ME... that he is happy to see ME.

When I take him in my arms and he wiggles around excitedly, laughing and cooing as I sing to him, I know that I will do ANYTHING to see him laugh again.

And I am still TIRED ... but he is my anchor, he is everything, and it is all worth it. It really is :)

Mama loves you Aiden