Thursday, June 28, 2012

Babies: The New Fashion Accessory?


A thing that can be added to something else in order to make it more useful, versatile, or attractive.

In a society that values appearance and how much of something we have, it can be very easy to get caught up in the need for more. We want all the latest and greatest accessories to add to our lives because everyone else has them too! From gadgets, to fashion, to homes, to cars, to .... even babies? 

Lately, it feels like babies are the hottest new accessory and I simply cannot find all the words that describe how uncool with that I am. Pregnancy and babies are all over in the media - celebrity babies are constantly on magazine covers and the whole "getting pregnant and having a baby" thing is glorified to the umpteenth power. Now, please don't get me wrong - having a baby is a beautiful, amazing, glorious thing but it almost feels like it is also the TRENDY thing to do. When did the decision to bring a human being into the world become a trend? 

Some popular celebrity baby magazine covers 

 And please, again, don't get me wrong - these celebrities have the right to celebrate their babies... by all means, go ahead and celebrate! But could this be a fad? Could it be that babies are popular right now, celebrities are interesting so 1+1 equals a gazillion magazines sold?  People even has a whole section of their magazine called celebrity babies where you can see who is due next in a handy dandy calendar. I mean, come on people!

My problem with this - is just like any "must have" accessory that is splashed all over magazine covers, young women everywhere are falling for it and caving into the pressure to get pregnant BEFORE THEY ARE READY. 

Parenting is a lifetime responsibility... the decision to bring a child into this world that you will be providing for - a child who needs to eat (whether you have eaten or not), needs an education (whether you have one or not), needs healthcare (whether you have sick days or not), needs a roof (whether you have a place of your own or not) and unconditional love (whether you are having a good day or not) is a heavy decision to make! 

When I found out I was pregnant, I had been married for almost three years... I was in a healthy, thriving marriage Thank GOD with a wonderful man who works hard and is intelligent and responsible. I had my college degree, I had a stable job, I had a good support system --- I was terrified and did not feel ready.  My plan was to wait until I had been married 5 years, to travel, to do a few things first but Aiden was coming regardless. 

Aiden has been the most wonderful surprise of my life... he is better than any plan I have ever made and then some... but parenting is hard, hard work. I  have not slept an entire night in 14 months, I have a little person who constantly needs me, and I hardly ever get a moment to myself. Sometimes I cry out of exhaustion and my mommy friends can all attest. It ain't easy! 

I wish that teenagers and young people who read magazines would really think about the severity of becoming a parent before deciding to do so. Being pregnant is "so cute" and babies are treated almost like little dolls and it truly sickens me. I know that sounds severe but when I am constantly hearing news of pregnancies and babies...I can't help but wonder - "do they know how hard it is?" 

Getting prepared for a baby is more than buying a pack-n-play and diaper genie. Getting prepared means being emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially ready to take on this huge responsibility. The biggest job of your life! Being married and self-sustaining, I have found it to be the hardest (and yes, most rewarding) thing I have ever attempted. I could not imagine doing it without a supportive partner, without an income, without a drinking age ID card! 

Disclaimer: I know that teen pregnancies happen... I know many amazing young women (some of my own relatives) who have come up strong from a teen pregnancy, who have been successful, outstanding mothers and have learned from the experience. This is not what I am referring to in this blog post. I am talking about young girls who intentionally make the decision to get pregnant because it is the trendy thing to do.This also does not only apply to teenagers.

There are so many things that can fill our lives... that can be added to our lives (accessories) to make us have a more rich life experience. But a baby? No, a baby is NOT an accessory. Think about it people, please... just think about it. 

On a lighter note -- No, he is not a fashion accessory but he is cute huh?! LOL

Monday, June 25, 2012

I'm not much of a blogger lately...

You guys! I have missed blogging so much!!! Where has the time gone? There are a ton of things I have been dying to take out on the keyboard but there has just been no time... no time... until NOW =)

So what's been going on with me? I just got back from a family vacation in California & Arizona. The hubster, the babe, and I went along with my mother for a trip to visit family and go to Disneyland... that sort of thing. I have a niece who is 13 years old now who I hadn't seen in years so that in itself was what made the trip all worth it. We had so much fun hanging out with her and I would totally post pics but since my blog is public and I haven't cleared it with her mom, I won't.

Anyway, we left on Friday the 15th and got back yesterday morning. Aiden was such a trooper on the airplane. We had a connecting flight on our way there and a direct flight on the way back. He did great on both with minimal tears. He did get upset a few times because he wanted to get out of his seat but overall he did great. Nursing made the take off and the descending a lot easier on him and we had no issues with discomfort in his ears. Yippee!

The entire vacation was pretty much "get up and go" and visiting family I hadn't seen in years which was great. We had my mom along and she is always a tremendous help with the baby but for some reason, he was super clingy to me. The boy did not let me out of his sight. I started calling him "my shadow" because every time I left a room, Aiden would follow. If I went into the bathroom he would knock at the door and since we got back this has not stopped. I do not know what to do about this people! I get it that he was out of his usual environment and lots of people were around... he had an absolute blast with all the kids that were around but so long as I was in eye's reach.

Overall it was really a fun week away but I am so exhausted. I need a real LAZY getaway soon with just my hubby and baby. I love my family and everything but sometimes you just need to get away... that plan is in the works already.

We did have a lazy beach day... my two boys enjoyed playing in the sand

Besides the vacation, I have been working on another writing project so the time for blogging has been scarce. I will have to remain vague on this because it is still in the works and writing is sacred to me. But details will come eventually!

Work has been insanely busy... I spent the whole first two weeks of June getting things ready before I left for vacation and now that I am back, I will actually have a lull few days. I have been contemplating my career in the recent month especially in regards to corporate America and office politics. Somehow, my need to pay the bills and provide enough for my family always wins over my need to be happy and fulfilled with my life's work. It is just the work ethic that was engrained in me -- you do what you have to do... you commit and stick it through no matter what. I admit, I am growing weary of that approach and am looking for guidance. As I approach my 30's, I know I want to find a way to do what I LOVE while still providing for my family. So far, I have no ideas but if you have any advice, I'd love to hear it.

Speaking of what I love...  I cannot wait to go back to church. I missed my church family while I was away immensely and I especially missed the ministry work I am involved in.. I am currently teaching our "connection course" which is a class for newcomers to the church and the new cycle just started a few weeks ago. I taught the whole previous cycle and absolutely LOVED it so I am excited to teach this new one. It is so great to  get to know the new people and connect with them in such a unique way. The young adult ministry has also been amazing and I love, love, love those young people. We are going out bowling this weekend and it will be great to just spend time with my YA peeps. Yay!

Ok well, that is all for now.. I have lots of topics brewing and posts to come soon on:

*Traditions and Faith - when religious traditions are valued more than what REALLY matters

* Office Culture-"I'll meet you after 7th period" - have we truly left high school?

* Energy Vampires - those who suck the energy out of the room.

*Christian Facebook pages - are you a christian or is your facebook page?

*Weaning - I think it might be time and I have no idea how to go about it

*Summer Plans - We got a membership to the Wildlife Conservation Society and plan to make the most of the hot months in NYC. 

AND much, much, more... Stay tuned people! I have missed all of you in the blogging world =)