A thing that can be added to something else in order to make it more useful, versatile, or attractive.
In a society that values appearance and how much of something we have, it can be very easy to get caught up in the need for more. We want all the latest and greatest accessories to add to our lives because everyone else has them too! From gadgets, to fashion, to homes, to cars, to .... even babies?
Lately, it feels like babies are the hottest new accessory and I simply cannot find all the words that describe how uncool with that I am. Pregnancy and babies are all over in the media - celebrity babies are constantly on magazine covers and the whole "getting pregnant and having a baby" thing is glorified to the umpteenth power. Now, please don't get me wrong - having a baby is a beautiful, amazing, glorious thing but it almost feels like it is also the TRENDY thing to do. When did the decision to bring a human being into the world become a trend?
|Some popular celebrity baby magazine covers|
And please, again, don't get me wrong - these celebrities have the right to celebrate their babies... by all means, go ahead and celebrate! But could this be a fad? Could it be that babies are popular right now, celebrities are interesting so 1+1 equals a gazillion magazines sold? People even has a whole section of their magazine called celebrity babies where you can see who is due next in a handy dandy calendar. I mean, come on people!
My problem with this - is just like any "must have" accessory that is splashed all over magazine covers, young women everywhere are falling for it and caving into the pressure to get pregnant BEFORE THEY ARE READY.
Parenting is a lifetime responsibility... the decision to bring a child into this world that you will be providing for - a child who needs to eat (whether you have eaten or not), needs an education (whether you have one or not), needs healthcare (whether you have sick days or not), needs a roof (whether you have a place of your own or not) and unconditional love (whether you are having a good day or not) is a heavy decision to make!
When I found out I was pregnant, I had been married for almost three years... I was in a healthy, thriving marriage Thank GOD with a wonderful man who works hard and is intelligent and responsible. I had my college degree, I had a stable job, I had a good support system --- I was terrified and did not feel ready. My plan was to wait until I had been married 5 years, to travel, to do a few things first but Aiden was coming regardless.
Aiden has been the most wonderful surprise of my life... he is better than any plan I have ever made and then some... but parenting is hard, hard work. I have not slept an entire night in 14 months, I have a little person who constantly needs me, and I hardly ever get a moment to myself. Sometimes I cry out of exhaustion and my mommy friends can all attest. It ain't easy!
I wish that teenagers and young people who read magazines would really think about the severity of becoming a parent before deciding to do so. Being pregnant is "so cute" and babies are treated almost like little dolls and it truly sickens me. I know that sounds severe but when I am constantly hearing news of pregnancies and babies...I can't help but wonder - "do they know how hard it is?"
Getting prepared for a baby is more than buying a pack-n-play and diaper genie. Getting prepared means being emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially ready to take on this huge responsibility. The biggest job of your life! Being married and self-sustaining, I have found it to be the hardest (and yes, most rewarding) thing I have ever attempted. I could not imagine doing it without a supportive partner, without an income, without a drinking age ID card!
Disclaimer: I know that teen pregnancies happen... I know many amazing young women (some of my own relatives) who have come up strong from a teen pregnancy, who have been successful, outstanding mothers and have learned from the experience. This is not what I am referring to in this blog post. I am talking about young girls who intentionally make the decision to get pregnant because it is the trendy thing to do.This also does not only apply to teenagers.
There are so many things that can fill our lives... that can be added to our lives (accessories) to make us have a more rich life experience. But a baby? No, a baby is NOT an accessory. Think about it people, please... just think about it.