It's a Film Review! - Bridesmaids

Since having our son, my husband and I have been making a conscious effort to go out for "date nights" or time with friends every so often. It really is difficult being a new mom and leaving your baby even for just a few hours but I know that time out from my sweatpants & ponytail, cleaning up poop and baby spit up is important for me. After a fun night out, I can come home refreshed and ready to give 100% to my little man.

Well, a few nights ago we went out to a great Italian restaurant here in the Bronx called "Patricia's" (I highly recommend the Salmon btw) and then to see the new movie "Bridesmaids". I didn't anticipate much from this movie but absolutely LOVED it! I had to take to my laptop and write about it!

Here's the brief synopsis from Wikipedia: Annie and Lillian have been best friends since their childhood days growing up in Milwaukee; when Lillian gets engaged, she asks Annie to be her Maid of Honor. Lillian also selects four bridesmaids: Helen Harris, the wealthy wife of Lillian's fiancé's boss and Lillian's new close friend; Becca, a newlywed who loves marriage and pities Annie because of her unmarried state; Megan, the aggressive sister of the groom; and Rita, a relative who is dissatisfied with her marriage and three sons. While the wedding preparations continue, Annie's personal life is falling apart. Her cake shop went bankrupt, forcing her to take a job at a jewelry store where she is an ineffective saleswoman and makes very little money. She is kicked out of the apartment that she shares with a pair of invasive twins. Despite advice from her friends, Annie is in the midst of a self destructive relationship with a man who only thinks of her as a sex buddy. Annie's chaotic personal life, budgetary restrictions, and insecurity about Lillian and Helen's friendship begin to take their toll as the wedding draws nearer.

First of all, I must say that be ready to LAUGH if you go see this. I cried from laughter it was so funny but more than that, it was such a great story! So well written and executed with a really great message or two about love and friendship. The Lillian character I could relate to best because I am married and remember the experience of being a "bride". It's so easy to get wrapped up in the wedding because it's a once in a lifetime celebration and every bride wants her day to be perfect. Lillian was kind of insensitive to her friend Annie and wrapped up in "her world" too much to notice that Annie was really struggling. To be fair, a girl only gets one time in her life to be a bride and it's the one time it should be okay to be a little selfish but I remember that feeling and the beginning of feeling distance between myself and a close friend.

I had bridesmaids at my wedding but they weren't nearly as colorful as this group! I absolutely love the character of the groom's sister Megan. She was hilarious but REAL and the most empathetic of the girls toward Annie.

Annie was struggling with her own life and this prevented her from being happy for her best friend. She also felt insecure because of Lil's relationship with Becca (who was a bit evil) her new close friend. That's always a tricky thing when you bring together a "childhood" friend with a "new" friend in female relationships. Becca and Annie were pretty much at war for Lil's friendship from the start. One of my favorite scenes shows this when the girls each give a toast at Lillian's engagement party. Hilarious!

Overall I really loved the "message" about friendship in this movie. Annie demonstrated some CRAZY behavior but she dealt with her feelings about Lil getting married. She wasn't afraid to show how she felt and didn't cover up her jealousy and insecurity... even if it made her look kind of mentally unstable LOL. It was through this realness and honesty that she eventually got things together and found some happiness of her own.

I don't want to say anymore or give anything else away -- if you haven't seen Bridesmaids, GO SEE IT!! I give it ten thousand stars :)

As I Am ( a message for my blog "lurkers")

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

This is going to be a short and sweet one but ya know what the beauty of this blog is? It is that I will always express myself with realness and the pure feeling on my heart. It may not always be pretty, but I can guarantee it will always come from a good place. It may rub some of you the wrong way but all I can say is -- don't take it personal, or if you will... don't read it. That's the beauty of this.. you can always click the "CLOSE" button.

Some people feel I need to censor myself or stop blogging altogether. This post is to assure you all that I will do no such thing. I'm a person, I have feelings and I have every right to express them so that I can work through those feelings. That's what I promised myself and that is the whole point of this blog existing. Oddly enough, it isn't about YOU or HER or HIM. It is actually about me :) I know, that sounds crazy right? Lol!

So I will continue to express my thoughts and my heart on certain situations in my life. My wonderful readers can express their comments, offer their advice or support.... All of those who follow this blog are great at that and I sooo appreciate them. And then for the rest of you who don't follow but simply lurk in the shadows. I would hope that you can come out of the closet and join the conversation so that we can all learn more. If not, hit that close button and you'll be much happier trust me.

To all my supporters - thank you for accepting me as I am =)

~A

My Birth Story

I did my best to keep notes but most of this is just based on what I can remember while it's still pretty fresh in my head--

My due date was Sunday April 17th and as the case with most first-time moms, the date came and went and still no baby! It's kind of frustrating when you've been waiting 9 months for something and it doesn't happen but it was also kind of a relief. I wanted to give Baby Picon all the time he needed and I so desperately wanted the birthing process to occur as naturally as possible. So, I started to distract myself and just pray that when it did happen I wouldn't be in a public place - Lol!

On the 18th I went into my doctor's office for a checkup and she decided to put me on the fetal monitor for about half hour to check out the baby's activity. This is when things got a little scary. Baby Picon was not as active as my doctor wanted to see and this can sometimes indicate that there is stress affecting the baby. She sent me to the hospital that same day for more in depth testing. After drinking some orange juice and spending about 4 hours in the hospital, they decided that the baby seemed fine but if labor did not start on it's own that week, they would induce me on Friday. I had heard many horror stories about Pitocin and was DREADING being induced. I went home and prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more that I would not have to use Pitocin to get my contractions going.

I spent Tuesday of that week at my mom's house celebrating my grandfather's 90th birthday and felt lots of movement from the baby that day. I experienced a few sharp pains but nothing substantial so I just continued to hope. The next day (Wednesday) I was at home and felt the baby move ONCE in a 4 or 5 hour period. I tried not to panic but deep down I felt that something was wrong. I drank some orange juice and layed down on my side for a while and felt nothing. I called my doctor who instructed me to go to the hospital right away. My mom drove me and I called my husband. He immediately left work. I was so scared at that point and just wanted to get my baby out! At the hospital the doctor told me that I would have to be admitted and induced early the next morning. I was still nervous about the Pitocin but decided it was more important to get my baby out safely.

That night, the doctor gave me Cervadil which is a medicine used to begin the softening of the cervix in preparation for labor. She said "order some food and get a good night's sleep while the Cervadil does it's job.. we will start the Pitocin in the morning to get your labor going." My husband went out and got some UNO's Pizza and we got cozy in my hospital room. We put on American Idol and just relaxed. In my mind, this was my last night of good sleep before the baby so I was going to enjoy it. However, things rarely work out as I plan them and my contractions started just two hours after being given the Cervadil. Around 9pm I started getting contractions that were about 5 minutes apart. They were not that intense and the nurse told me they wouldn't get any worse. If they did, she would take the Cervadil out.

By 11pm that night, the contractions were very intense but no one really thought they were (except for me of course). I tend to internalize when it comes to pain so with my husband on the hospital bed next to me, I would breath through each contraction and just try to keep my cool. I kept telling myself "April, this is nothing compared to what's coming so don't be such a punk". My husband began to realize that I was really in pain and he helped me breath through the contractions. My nurse decided to come in and check me and to my surprise I was 4 centimeters dilated! My first words to J.J. after that were "CALL MY MOM".

I was in so much pain at that point and they moved me into a delivery room. I got my epidural and have to admit it was painful but once it took affect --- HEAVEN!! I went to sleep from 2:30am until 7am and when I woke up, my water had broken. About an hour after my water broke, the nurse checked and I was fully dilated and ready to start pushing.

By this point, I decided that I wanted to put on some makeup for some reason. Don't ask me why! But I'm so glad I had been able to sleep a bit and get some strength for what was coming next-- the REAL work.

I started pushing at 9am and at first, it was kind of hard because I didn't feel the "urge" very strongly. I decided not to click my epidural button anymore and let the pain actually work toward something. That did the trick! I started to gain momentum and the pushing started really progressing. I could feel the baby lowering and as he did, the urge became even stronger. At this point, I was mentally in a place of "I CAN DO THIS" and I kept telling myself "April, you were made for this!". My husband, mom and mother-in-law were in the room and I just kept hearing "WOW April you're doing great" and those encouragements kept me going. Around 10:30am, it started getting really, really hard! I've been told that pushing a baby out feels like the biggest "#2" of your life but I beg to differ! It did not feel like I was doing a #2 at all.. it felt like I was pushing a human being out of me! LOL.

For me, this was probably the most painful part. One of my friends described it best as "The ring of fire" and that's exactly what I felt. At this point I had to go somewhere else mentally to get through it. I could barely hear the people in the room now and all I could do was pray. "God, help me" is what I kept repeating and I started singing songs in my mind. I remember feeling like I was about to give up and screaming pretty loud when I heard my amazing nurse Lisa's voice. She said something along the lines of "April, look at me" and I did. She told me not to give up and that I could do this. This woman was such a great nurse and she saved me! I didn't hear anyone's voice but hers. She looked at me and then looked at the clock and said "So do you want your baby to be born at 11am?" I remember feeling a sudden burst of energy right at that moment and responding "let's do this."

Aiden Kyle Picon was born at 11:01am. It turns out he had the umbilical chord wrapped around his neck 3 TIMES and this is probably why I hadn't felt him moving as much. It was such a relief to see him and know he was safe. I immediately started crying and remember my husband kissing my head and saying he loved me. Then I waited to hear Aiden's cry and it was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. He was here and somehow, I had done it! Lisa (my nurse) came up to me and she said "April, you are A LOT stronger than you think you are."

.. and that is what I learned from this. I have what it takes to be a mom and I am STRONG. I am going to love and protect Aiden for as long as I am here on this earth and this taught me that I can do it. God gave me strength that day and I know now that I am going to rock at this mother thing! I'm just sayin ;)

XO,

He is Here!!

Aiden Kyle Picon
Born: April 21st at 11:01am
7 Lbs, 3 Ounces -- 19 and a half inches long

Sorry it's taken me a while to update this! The birth went really well but the recovery has been a doozy =) I can't wait to write my birth story and give you all more details soon.

XO,