Friday, February 25, 2011

You Complete Me.. You Had me at Hello...

In church recently during Sunday School, we had this huge debate about horror movies and what are the kinds of things that we as Christians should be watching. I think that performing arts can be a HUGE influence on it's observers because the emotions and passions of the artist are behind it; driving it in a way that makes us literally feel what they are feeling. (if the artist is good that is).

That's why a song can make us all giddy or a film can move us to tears. No other art-form taps into us like that and while that can be a wonderful thing to experience (and help others experience as a singer and writer myself) we should also be cautious about the things that we allow to take in with our eyes, ears, minds and many times our hearts. Young people in particular are very susceptible to the mainstream media but people of all ages can really get "sucked in" to certain ideals without even realizing it. Art is a powerful thing!

All the while debating about whether or not we should be watching scary movies, a friend of mine (who loves scary movies) made the point that she thinks we all just need to monitor how certain things affect us and make personal decisions accordingly. She then said something that really made me think -- "I don't like romantic movies or the ideas they portray about love." This immediately resonated with me and all I could say was "WOW what a great point".

OK so here is my disclaimer --> I have only been married almost 3 years and my husband and I only dated one year before that. I do not consider myself to be a relationship "guru" and I won't at all pretend to be an expert on love. I am young, I am growing, I am learning and as I do it is my desire to share my heart and put out there what this learning process is doing for me. My ideas are constantly being molded based on life experiences and wisdom from great people around me and I'd hate anyone to think otherwise.

So now, that we've gotten that out of the way... what are the ideas that movies, songs, literature, and the mainstream media portray about love? Why is divorcing for "irreconcilable differences" such a common thing? Why are so many young women out there still waiting for a Prince Charming?

LOVE is such a huge word and everyone has their own ideas about what it means. The bible really says it best in 1 Corinthians chapter 13. It says what love IS and what love IS NOT. I think this chapter is one of my favorites in the bible because it is such an excellent model of what it is to truly love. When I read this, I think of the love of Jesus and how he displays it to us in exactly the way described here. I think that God is love and this passage is a literal description of the characteristics of God. This passage was even read at my wedding (as I am sure it is read at many weddings) as a reminder for my husband and I to strive for this perfect love every day as we spend our lives together.

Now, let's get REAL pallleeeese! - sometimes my husband is selfish, or angry, or jealous... sometimes he is far from patient or kind and what then? Does this mean he doesn't love me? Should I throw this passage in his face and be like "Tisk-Tisk, love doesn't seek it's own! We must not have real love then". Sometimes a parent grows resentful because they have to put their child's needs over the things that they want to do.. does it mean that parent doesn't love their child?

Not one of us loves perfectly! Why do we have expectations based on our favorite movies instead of based on ourselves? When I look in the mirror, I don't see a perfect person so why would I expect perfection from my partner? I have said this before and I'll say it again - LOVE IS A CHOICE. We won't be successful in love until we take that ownership.

There is no Prince Charming.... and there is certainly NO ONE in this world who can complete you. We are made whole (complete) by God's grace and when we choose to love ourselves. I can't look to anyone to complete who I am because who I am is never identical to anyone else. I am an original creation that is meant to live and carry out an original destiny unlike that of anyone else. Some people will join me on my journey and others will be a part of it for a short time... no one will complete me.

I admit it... my heart melts every time I watch Jerry Maguire and hear Tom Cruise say those famous words...




Don't wait for the person who "completes you" to come along.. you'll find yourself waiting forever.. and don't wait for someone you love to grow into that person.. Just keepin' it real :)

~A

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