My Thoughts on Marriage - "The Dying Trend"

I subscribe to a really great blog from "Focus on the Family" specifically targeted to young married people and it has really blessed my life! Here is a link to their website. This morning, while reading some of their new articles, I got to praying and thinking (uh-oh!) and was truly inspired by what some of the bloggers had to say. The New York Times recently published an article about marriage and why it is becoming less and less popular with today's young people. It seems as though marriage is just viewed as a "dying trend" and young men and women are either waiting longer to get married or opting out of the idea altogether. I read this article a few months back and it made me sad, being a young married woman and having experience and seen the blessing that it is. The article contributed many factors to the reason why this is the case... obviously, women now account for more than half of college students and half of the workforce and as a result, marriage and babies are put off longer than in years past. Commitment is also an issue that was brought up. Nowadays, most couples just prefer to "live together" without putting their commitment down on paper. They even use the words "hubby", "wifey" etc. with no rings or strings attached. Personally, I wish they'd all just leave those titles for those of us who have actually committed and are doing the work but that's a whole other blog post. In a nutshell, I guess that young people are finding that the risks in marriage outweigh the benefits and it is no longer high up on the list of priorities. In my opinion, nothing could be further from the truth!

My husband and I took a pre-marital counseling class at our church before our wedding in 2008 and it was so helpful. The class used the book and workbooks called "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" by Les and Leslie Parrot. Here is a link to their website. Les and Leslie Parrot are Christian marriage & family therapists and this book is scripture based which was very helpful because I could read it together with my bible. Biblically speaking, marriage or the relationship between a husband and wife is comparable to the relationship between Christ and the Church. As our Pastor who was teaching the class put it -- "marriage is the ONLY human experience we can have that models this relationship (Christ & his church) ... the only way, in our humanness to grasp the love and commitment that is shared, to understand the fullness and depth of that connection! This is something that has always remained with me ... how amazing is that?! That type of deep, spiritual intimacy simply can't be shared with a "boyfriend".

I was 23 years old when I got married (I'll be 26 in a few months, buy me presents! lol) and I remember when telling some people I was engaged; getting "the look" or even a few times "the question" - WHY? I found humor in this question and my answer was usually something like "because I fell in love and want to be married"... though I am assuming the answer they were looking for was "because we are pregnant". Being married young has really been an opportunity for growth in my life, not to mention the joy that overwhelms me because I have the privilege of experiencing and practicing true love during my youth. To me, there is nothing more beautiful to share with my husband.

I'll be the first to say, that marriage is not AT ALL what I expected. It changes a relationship and is not by any means easy. Love is not a feeling, it is a way of life... a way of life that Christ emphasized so greatly in his teachings while he was here on earth... a way of life that we are called to embrace and practice to have communion with the father. Trust me, on the days when my husband is getting on my nerves I have to remind myself -- LOVE IS A CHOICE April, Love is a way of life April! LOL... I did not marry a man who fulfills 1 Corinthians 13 perfectly, and I do not live in this perfect way either... but in getting married we committed to growing in love together.

Living together and sharing a life has brought about many rough patches. I don't know very many young married women and it is harder to relate to my single friends because our priorities are sooooo different. But I've learned to let my husband be my best friend and put family first :) As an expectant mother I have also learned to appreciate my relationships with older women; wives and mothers who may not share the knowledge of my generation but can TRULY relate to me.

My husband is everything I am not in so many ways -- he is pure in his thoughts of others (I can be cynical) , kind with his words (I am the blunt one who often finds myself regretting what I just said), he is logical (I am emotional) and the list goes on and on. You would think that the fact that his strengths tend to reveal my weaknesses would be a bad thing for me... but it is just the opposite. I see this as my opportunity to grow and become a better ME every single day. I am grateful to be on this journey and though it isn't always easy I embrace the process!

Our relationship is far from perfect, and YES marriage is a huge commitment but it is also the very best thing that has ever happened in my life! While I can understand this "new way" of thinking, waiting longer to get married, putting career first etc. I just can't help but SHOUT from the rooftops how wonderful it is to make this decision while young. Society may say many things and research may prove them -- but what does God say about it? Being a wife and expectant mother there is really only one way I can sum up how it feels -- "I was made for this".

I hope that my married readers can relate... and to my single readers - I hope that when it comes your way, you aren't afraid to take this leap of faith no matter what the world is saying about it today :)

XO,

~April