Last night I was watching a special on TLC about the Pastor Ted Haggard from Colorado Springs. I had been very familiar with his story reading about it on the news about 4 years ago and seeing his interview on Oprah. I also read his wife's book entitled "Why I Stayed" which is a lovely memoir that recounts her journey as a wife and the commitment she made when she said "I do". Gayle Haggard is an extraordinary woman and I have a great deal of respect for her after reading her book. So many couples divorce for reasons FAR smaller than what the Haggard's went through and I think it is admirable that they decided to fight for their marriage.
For those who do not know, Ted Haggard was the Pastor at "New Life Church" in Colorado. A mega-church (as some call it) when he was exposed by a male prostitute and later admitted to having a homosexual relationship with this man outside of his marriage. Naturally, Ted was removed as Senior Pastor from the church and put on a "disciplinary process" by the elders. The world was stunned by this and many people could not understand his continual statement "I am not a homosexual." The world just couldn't understand why he wouldn't "come out of the closet" and admit to being gay. Instead, he just said he was a heterosexual man who struggles with homosexual feelings.
This post really isn't about the debate on homosexuality --- according to our bible as Christians, this is sin. Ted Haggard did not want to live this lifestyle but instead wanted to fight for his marriage and family. He wanted to be restored and of course in the world we live today, I can see why non-believers found that difficult to understand.
What really affects me most about Ted's story is that the elders from "New Life Church" basically had him excommunicated or banished from their community. He was told he could not LIVE in the area anymore ... he could not contact anyone from the church and he could NEVER hold a position again. This blows my mind!! How can one human being tell another that they can NEVER AGAIN return to a ministry God called them to? We might say "you need to take a time out" and that is for the purposes of restoration and building that person up after their fall. Even worse, he could not contact anyone from his church family. If I sinned and was told that I could no longer talk to anyone from my church, I personally don't know how I would get through it.
Seeing the documentary about the Haggard family; how they were abandoned by their closest friends, how they are ridiculed in the media, just made me really reflect on the things I complain to God about sometimes. I have felt betrayed by my loved ones and certainly have felt abandoned. It takes an incredible amount of strength to admit your faults, rise up and continue pushing forward when everyone has turned their back on you. I said a prayer last night for this family and thanked God because whenever we think our situation is the worst in the world, we remember that someone else is struggling with an even greater obstacle.
Today I am thinking about forgiveness... why is it that we put sin on different "levels"? Humanity likes to categorize things so much... How come we have "white lies"? Is one sin really bigger or smaller than the other? Romans 3:9-10 says :What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin. 10 As it is written:“There is no one righteous, not even one.
When someone falls short, doesn't Christ forgive them? So we should learn to forgive whole-heartily. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you - Colossians 3:13
And finally, EVERYONE is undergoing a process... yes, even you! We are not "all done" and "fixed up" .. we all carry baggage, we are all on a journey and this will continue until the day we see our father in heaven.
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns - Philippians 1:6
~A
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