For as long as I can remember, I have been an extremely ambitious person. I have always set out to do many things and accomplish as much as I possibly can in my life. I remember in 4th grade, we had a graduation as elementary school was coming to an end and middle school started in the 5th grade. For graduation, two recipients of the "Principal's Award" would be selected (1 boy, 1 girl) and those two would get to speak at the ceremony and represent their class. I set out to get that award and did my very best all year so that I could be the one to speak at graduation. When I was informed that I had gotten it, I was ecstatic! The only problem was, I had also auditioned to sing the national anthem at the ceremony and I could not do both. The speaker would have to sit on stage next to the Principal and the singer would come up from backstage and then go back to his or her seat. I was crushed! I wanted so badly to do both and could not understand why they just wouldn't let me.
My teachers were trying to balance things out... give more kids a chance to be a part of the graduation ceremony but I set these goals out in front of myself and I just wanted them all. I've learned a lot about giving everyone a chance and sharing the spotlight since 4th grade, but in many ways I am still the same in that I want to have my cake and eat it too.
I want a career, I want a ministry, I want a marriage, I want a family... I want friendships and an avid social life... I want, I want, I want! My schedule is always booked because I am that girl who says YES I'll do it and YES I can attend and YES, YES, YES! There is so much on my plate all the time and though I have some overwhelming moments, I am never one to complain that I am too full.
If my life were a scale, it would just be one thing piled onto the next ... lopsided... completely unbalanced. I take so much on and lately, my "fix" to this problem has been to sit back and do nothing instead. I guess that really isn't much of a fix is it?
Finding balance is probably the single most challenging thing I have faced in my adult life. How can I continue to strive toward my personal goals and meet all of my other obligations as a wife and mother? How can I move up in my career while still continuing my education, obtaining additional credentials in completely unrelated fields that I am passionate about, and one day write that novel I've been mulling over?
And it doesn't just end with goals... I need to find balance in so many other areas of my life as well. What about relationships? Have a built up hedges around my marriage? Do I balance time with my husband while having some alone time or time with friends? Oh and speaking of friends, GOD KNOWS I have failed time and time again at setting appropriate boundaries and learning which friendships are right for me, who to trust with my heart, who to lean on, and who to simply stay away from. I mean, why is that so hard? And let's not even start talking about extended family relationships! I have one word for you -- IN-LAWS. Double sigh.
For 2012, I really need to balance my scale. These things are not easy and I am hoping to get my ducks in a row somewhat this year. That's why I am SO EXCITED about the new teaching series at my church called "Finding Balance". Check out the promo video below.... I sooo needed this! Are you interested in finding balance? Come check out this series at my church! I know it is going to be a blessing and just in the nick of time too!
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