Admire without the need to Acquire

I have to give the "cred" to my Pastor for this pretty awesome quote. It totally put things into perspective for me and is something I am learning more and more as my journey continues. My beautiful friend recently came over to bring me cookies (I had a craving and she is awesome) and we had this great conversation about relationships and how they change with the stages in our lives. I'd recently been agonizing over some friendships and she really spoke to my core when she said "April, you need to realize that this isn't about YOU... some people need to deal with themselves and learn to be happy with where they are in life."

I've definitely had those moments where I am envious of where a relative or friend is at in their lives. I know a couple who got married and immediately bought a house and while I was happy for them, it made me question God (from my tiny apartment)... like "Where is my house?" We have friends who take sweet vacations several times a year, get to shop at "Crate and Barrel" while we get all our stuff at Target, or have already landed the jobs of their dreams. Sometimes it's hard not to compare and it's even harder to be around these friends when I am feeling this. I guess when we struggle with jealousy, it's easier to stay away but is that the right thing to do? The problem lies within ME and my inability to be truly happy with where I am regardless of anyone else. Let me just add -- it's OK to be unhappy with where your life is. It's OK to admit that and say " I want more" but why is it? Is it based on what others have or is it based on what you TRULY want for yourself? I think that is the big difference.

In September of last year I started grad school and 2 of my girlfriends also did. Well, I remember having a conversation with another friend who is still finishing up her undergrad and she said that she did not want to have a party to celebrate her graduation. She said "I will just throw a big party when I finish grad school in a couple years". This really made me sad! I remember having this heart-to-heart with her and saying "No, you should celebrate this achievement and where you are right NOW". I think she was basing her decision on where other friends around her were and not remembering to celebrate in her own accomplishments. When we are constantly paying attention to others, we risk missing out on the beautiful moments of our own lives. We need to learn to ADMIRE without the need to ACQUIRE. I finished my first semester of grad school and loved it!! But now, I am taking time off to have a baby... sure, my friends will probably finish before me but this is MY PATH and everything needs to happen in the timing that is right for me. Plus, I think babies are so much cuter than diplomas :)

Jealousy causes people to try to be important in the eyes of man. If you have this problem, understand that God has you where you are for a reason. He knows what’s in your future, and He may have you in training for it right now. There’s a big difference between being able and being ready to do a specific thing. So don't despise the days of small beginnings. -- Joyce Meyer

I realize that at 26 years old, I am not in the same place as most of my peers. I'm a wife and mother and that alone puts me on such a unique path. I was blessed recently by a meetup that I had with some other young married women. We went out to dinner at Brother Jimmy's BBQ on the upper east side (so yummy) to just chat and have a relaxing night out. It was awesome because I looked around the table and conversation flowed so naturally. It's nice to connect and have support from others who are on similar paths... but I am learning that it's also beneficial to learn from and connect with those who are on different paths as well. We don't all need to be in the same place and we can admire each other, appreciate each other and not feel the need to change a thing about ME just because of where YOU are.

The lion in the Chronicles of Narnia said it best "when you want to be like someone else, you wish YOURSELF away.

My thoughts on this subject are still incomplete... but I will say this --I look in the mirror and I am happy with me :) "

Xo,