Wrong Timing, Wrong People, Wrong Foundation...

In an effort to figure out why things have felt so imbalanced in my life, I am reflecting on the first part of my church's new series - Finding Balance! Yesterday, my Pastor spoke about 3 things that create imbalance in our lives and what a way to start! I was kind of blown away and this was only the first part of the teaching series so I cannot wait for the rest. So here are the 3 things -- Wrong Timing, Wrong People, Wrong Foundation.

Wrong Timing
"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven".- Ecclesiastes 3:1

He gave an example of when he first felt the call to Pastor a church. He had just gotten married and when he approached his wife with the idea, she said "no" - she did not feel this was the time to take on such a huge calling. Although he admits that he did not see eye to eye with his wife, he realizes now that timing is everything and had he attempted to start up a church while still starting up a marriage, one of those two would have failed. Needless to say, both are entirely too important for that.  While I haven't been called to plant a church or start a ministry in Africa, I can certainly relate to this feeling in regards to timing. So much in my life has happened when I didn't think it was "the time" and there is so much I have taken on not at the right time as well. This week, I am focusing on TIMING and praying that God can help me figure out what it's time for but more importantly - what it is NOT the time for. Becoming a mother has changed my outlook on so many things but it has also made making decisions a lot more complicated. What I decide not only affects me, or my husband now but it affects our son. How can I, as a 26 year old align myself with the "season" God has me in? I can't go out and party, I barely ever eat in restaurants or see movies in the theater... I'm a new mom and it definitely sets me apart from my peers. Honestly, it was my plan to still be in that "party season" of life... I thought I'd be finishing up a graduate degree, working and hanging with friends on weekends... but things have turned out differently. I am not complaining at all! I ADORE my son and my family life... but finding balance during this season, embracing this TIME has not always been easy. I feel like with the timing thing, it is really about establishing priorities and that is where I plan to do some housekeeping in my own life.
 
Wrong People
  "And so, dear friends, since you already know these things, continually be on your guard not to be carried away by the deception of lawless people. Otherwise, you may fall from your secure position." - 2 Peter 3:17

He gave a really great illustration that literally brought tears to my eyes. He had one of the guys come up and attempt to balance on the edge of the stage. When the young man took a few steps, my Pastor would push him off. Over and over he tried it and obviously couldn't balance because he was being pushed. There is a similar thing that happens when we choose to be around the wrong people. There are those people in our lives who will help us balance, give us a hand and be there to see us get across... and sadly, there are those who will whether intentionally or unintentionally push us. I've made the mistake of allowing the wrong people too close of a place in my life... most times because I felt so insecure and just wanted to be liked and accepted. But it has gotten to the point of a "drowning feeling" because these were not the people who would want to see me get across and keep my balance. At least not in the areas that I needed to. I think God sends the RIGHT people into our lives based on what we need, the season we are in and how those relationships can grow us. 2011 was an extremely defining year for me in relationships. I am feeling really good about the people around me and I am so grateful that God helped me get on track with the right people for my life. It definitely hurts when moving on from relationships at times but what I am learning is that I don't need to work so hard for every one's approval. I can be ME and the right people will be there to support me, sharpen me, and help me keep my balance.
 
Wrong Foundation
  "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." - Psalm 18:2

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock". - Matthew 7:24-25

This one is simple -- my faith! He used the example of a little girl walking in her mother's high heels. She will stumble and fall not because she does not know how to walk, but because of what is under her feet! What is under my feet? Are they set on the rock? Who is the rock? I know that keeping my faith, cultivating a strong relationship with God and staying focused on that is what sets my feet on the rock. I know that even if I lose track in Timing... and even if I give in with the wrong People, my foundation can never be anyone other than Jesus. The minute I start to rely on someone else, something else... the minute I start to place another person or a career, or even my own Son as the foundation of my life, that is when balance CANNOT happen.
 
Pretty cool huh? Slowly but surely I know that I will find my way and this whole balance thing is going  to become a reality in life... I can feel it!!

  Display on stage at church... idea for the creative pose was all the Hubs ;)

Happy Monday people!
XO,
 

My Unbalanced Scale

For as long as I can remember, I have been an extremely ambitious person. I have always set out to do many things and accomplish as much as I possibly can in my life. I remember in 4th grade, we had a graduation as elementary school was coming to an end and middle school started in the 5th grade. For graduation, two recipients of the "Principal's Award" would be selected (1 boy, 1 girl) and those two would get to speak at the ceremony and represent their class. I set out to get that award and did my very best all year so that I could be the one to speak at graduation. When I was informed that I had gotten it, I was ecstatic! The only problem was, I had also auditioned to sing the national anthem at the ceremony and I could not do both. The speaker would have to sit on stage next to the Principal and the singer would come up from backstage and then go back to his or her seat. I was crushed!  I wanted so badly to do both and could not understand why they just wouldn't let me.

My teachers were trying to balance things out... give more kids a chance to be a part of the graduation ceremony but I set these goals out in front of myself and I just wanted them all.  I've learned a lot about giving everyone a chance and sharing the spotlight since 4th grade, but in many ways I am still the same in that I want to have my cake and eat it too.

I want a career, I want a ministry, I want a marriage, I want a family... I want friendships and an avid social life... I want, I want, I want! My schedule is always booked because I am that girl who says YES I'll do it and YES I can attend and YES, YES, YES! There is so much on my plate all the time and though I have some overwhelming moments, I am never one to complain that I am too full.

If my life were a scale, it would just be one thing piled onto the next ... lopsided... completely unbalanced. I take so much on and lately, my "fix" to this problem has been to sit back and do nothing instead. I guess that really isn't much of a fix is it?

Finding balance is probably the single most challenging thing I have faced in my adult life. How can I continue to strive toward my personal goals and meet all of my other obligations as a wife and mother? How can I move up in my career while still continuing my education, obtaining additional credentials in completely unrelated fields that I am passionate about, and one day write that novel I've been mulling over?

And it doesn't just end with goals... I need to find balance in so many other areas of my life as well. What about relationships? Have a built up hedges around my marriage? Do I balance time with my husband while having some alone time or time with friends? Oh and speaking of friends,  GOD KNOWS I have failed time and time again at setting appropriate boundaries and learning which friendships are right for me, who to trust with my heart, who to lean on, and who to simply stay away from. I mean, why is that so hard? And let's not even start talking about extended family relationships! I have one word for you -- IN-LAWS. Double sigh.

For 2012, I really need to balance my scale. These things are not easy and I am hoping to get my ducks in a row somewhat this year. That's why I am SO EXCITED about the new teaching series at my church called "Finding Balance". Check out the promo video below.... I sooo needed this! Are you interested in finding balance? Come check out this series at my church! I know it is going to be a blessing and just in the nick of time too!

January's Devotional Guest Post!

This month, I wanted to post something encouraging, uplifting, something that had a message of HOPE. My "Sista from anotha Mista" Gaby, wrote her own reflection on reaching a goal she had been striving toward for quite some time... I thought it was a great post to start off the year with! Gaby and I have known each other for too many years to count and I am pretty excited that she is guest posting on my blog =)

Go over to the "Devotionals" section and check out her post!

XO,

Operation "Hungry Baby": Homemade Baby Food & Breastfeeding

Happy New Year!

I can't believe it's January already and Aiden will be 9 months in just a few weeks... Seriously guys, he is growing so fast and it makes me kind of sad. I love getting to know him more and learning his personality but I try to think back to the very first time the nurse put him in my arms and it gets a little hazy. I want to go back and relive that moment so much... I look at him, all 21 pounds of him and still cannot believe he was once a tiny, sleepy newborn not even a year ago.

A year! He will be one year old in just over three months and YOU KNOW I am already planning his birthday party... but that's an entirely different blog post... I wanted to give some updates on how it is going with "operation hungry baby" because it seems that the biggest part of my job as a new mom has been to nourish this little hungry boy.

Breastfeeding:

Yes, we are still nursing! I find it strange when people ask things like "you are STILL breastfeeding?" because my son is still an infant. Not that it would be less strange for them to ask when he is a toddler. But anyway, we are still nursing and I am over the moon about it! Giving my baby only breast milk (no formula) was a goal that I was not so sure I would reach.... we supplemented his feedings with formula for the first 8 weeks and I was NOT happy about it. But somehow, with some determination and lots of prayer I was able to ditch the formula and get Aiden on breast milk exclusively. It was so important to me to give him the VERY BEST and I know that God created this milk specifically for Aiden... Since I was pregnant with him, I have been very conscious of what goes inside of him because after all, he is dependent on me for all of his nourishment. That is a responsibility I have not taken lightly. I pump at the office throughout the day and store Aiden's milk in the freezer. He gets bottles throughout the day and then he nurses when I get home in the evening. He still nurses several times throughout the night and I hope to continue for as long as we can. I have no problems nursing Aiden until he is 2 years old and NO I do not think that is weird. For now, the plan is that we will introduce cow's milk when he turns 1 and then we'll see how it goes. I'm so grateful that I have been able to continue nursing despite the obstacles. I still can't understand the weirdness around breastfeeding but I hope to inspire and change the mind sets of people around me if I can. I feed Aiden on demand, anywhere we are. In church, at the doctor's office, the supermarket, - everywhere! I have a nursing cover and thankfully I have never forgotten it but if one day I don't have it and Aiden needs to eat, we'll just break out the mardi-gras beads cause "the girls" are coming out! Haha.



Baby Food:

Aiden started "solids" at 6 months and again, I am really conscious of what goes into him. After lots of reading we decided that Aiden would get homemade baby food and can I just say-- I LOVE IT! It is so much fun to cook for him and it is something I really, truly enjoy. We started with brown rice cereal that I mill into powder and then cook on the stove top for him. I also make him oatmeal this way and he loves it. After introducing all the basic "starter" foods like bananas, avocados, sweet potatoes, peas, etc. we have started to mix things together and make some pretty awesome combos. I use breast milk when pureeing the veggies and water for the fruit. Aiden has also had pureed turkey and chicken. He is starting egg yolks this week... We use organic chicken/turkey/eggs because of growth hormone concerns. Just last night he had pureed chicken and apples for dinner and he ate it all! Another really great thing has been organic whole milk yogurt. We buy the Stonyfield plain yogurt and it is great. He enjoys eating it plain and it is also really great for mixing with everything! We mix yogurt into his veggies, fruits, cereals, and it really makes a difference. The main thing I look for with yogurt is that it have lots of good bacteria to help break things down in Aiden's tummy and keep him regular. Stonyfield yogurt has 6 active cultures and that is proven to aid digestive health. I do plan to compile my baby food recipes at some point but here are just a few things Aiden really enjoys:



Butternut Squash

Chicken and Apples

Turkey and Sweet Potatoes

Turkey and Peas

Oatmeal and Nectarines

Brown Rice and Pears

Plums



It takes me a few hours every weekend (after a trip to the supermarket) to peel, core, chop up and steam all the food, then blend everything into perfect purees! It can be a lot of work depending on the food and sometimes I'd much rather just hang out with Aiden instead on my day off but making sure he gets wholesome, homemade food definitely beats out that desire. I have these really great baby food containers that seal great and go right in the freezer. I label everything in freezer bags and it is all ready to go. The containers are super practical and easy to take when on the go too. We have a little ice pack and they go right in with spoons, a bib etc. I always pack a few spoonful’s of yogurt when we go out too!



And another really cool thing -- the MESH FEEDER. Aiden enjoys bananas in his, slices of pear, and his favorite - ice! It really soothes him and even though he still has no teeth, I am convinced he is experiencing teething symptoms. He really loves to suck on ice from his mesh feeder and I love how happy it makes him.



Aiden also gets to drink water now and get this -- he won't take it in a bottle or Sippy cup! He wants to drink from a cup just like grownups do. So we fill his little blue cup with water and let him go for it. He gets so excited when he sees anyone drinking from a cup. It's to the point where if I am going to be drinking something in front of him, I better have his cup with water ready. Breast milk and water are his only two beverages and I plan on waiting a long, long while before introducing juice. There's really no nutritional value so I don't see the point. Some other things I plan to wait on are - white rice and white potato.



Overall, "operation hungry baby" is going really well and he really isn't a very hungry baby at all. He loves to eat and I LOVE to feed him =)

Catching Up!

I realize that I haven't been posting as often this month ... things have been so busy! After the new year I will get back into the groove of things and there will be more but in the mean time, I thought I'd give you all a few updates ...

*Work - my supervisor went on maternity leave. She had a gorgeous baby boy and I'm so happy for her... but while she is gone I am running the department which means I am super busy with both my own workload and hers! I haven't had much time for social media or blogging during the day but that's okay with me. It is actually nice to be super busy because time flies by quicker while I'm at work. I also work really well under pressure so it has kind of brought out the best in me. I think it is going really well, I'm meeting all my deadlines and keeping it together, thank the sweet baby Jesus!

*Ministry - my husband and I recently agreed to be the Directors of the young adult ministry at our church. We're not certain of the exact ages but this is our group of "twenty-somethings". We are currently discussing our plans for this group and I am really excited about what God is going to be doing! It is a really diverse group of young people... some married, most single and in all different places in life. I am praying that this be a really fulfilling experience for us and a growth opportunity for myself as a person. Leading others has a way of really sharpening one's character so I am nervous but grateful for the opportunity. I also LOVE all the YA's in our group and have made some really special friends so I know it will be wonderful to share with them and strengthen our faith together.

*Christmas - it is such a fun time but it can also be hectic. I got the house decorated and I am really happy with it.. I haven't had time to snap photos but it looks really nice! I put the tree up in our sun room which is great because it has become the "forbidden room" for Aiden. You can see the tree through our window from the street which I LOVE. I found a really cute Christmas plaid tablecloth at Bed Bath and Beyond and it really makes a difference. I got a wreath, some poinsettia, and lots of red pillar candles that smell like cranberry. The place looks great and it totally feels like Christmas. Aiden loves it especially the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. He reaches out for it every time I walk by with him. I'm super excited for our first Christmas at home as a family. I'm going to be making a special breakfast that will include red velvet pancakes... ohhh yeah!

*Getaway - we are going to be spending our first night away from Aiden on the week between Christmas and New Year's. I booked a romance package at a hotel and it sounds really nice... champagne & strawberries, a candlelight dinner, breakfast and a late checkout of 2pm. I am excited for the sleep opportunity this will provide too- haha. But I am also really nervous about being away from Aiden. I hope he knows that we will be back! It is just really important for me and the hubby to get some alone time. I am excited about it.

*New Years - I have no idea what the plan is for NYE. We have a celebration at our church but Aiden won't make it until midnight and I wouldn't try to make him sleep through all the celebrating. He is a light sleeper so he would just be miserable. I think it is going to be a quiet evening at home watching the ball drop. Maybe we'll have our best friends over and make a nice dinner ... I don't know.

*Home decorating - I do love decorating my house but I am NOT crafty at all...  my friend Caroline gave us some bookshelves and I am going to be sprucing them up with a little project. I can't say if I think it will be a success yet but it is pretty simple and I will definitely be posting about it more in detail soon. That is all I can disclose at this time.

*New Hair -- Guys, I got bangs!!! I haven't had bangs since I was like in 4th grade so it still feels really weird but it looks pretty good. I've gotten lots of compliments and it has helped me feel better about myself since the postpartum hair loss has kicked in. See new bangs in picture below :)

Anyway, if I don't post again until after the holidays... please have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!! Lots of love, health, happiness and blessings from my family to yours.

XO,

Tis the Season: Gifting, non-gifting and re-gifting

It is mid December people! Christmas is upon us. For me, Christmas is a way to remember and celebrate the birth of Christ, a time to spend with the ones I love, to take a little break from my usual hustle and bustle and reflect on all the love in my life. My favorite thing about the holiday is the decorations... Houses are lit up and everything smells like pine. I love Christmas!
But the one part of this holiday that can get a little stressful- the gifts! I love giving gifts, I love shopping but finding "the perfect gift" can get a little overwhelming. Let's face it, I procrastinate every year and end up buy gifts the week before Christmas. That in itself is bound to cause unnecessary stress. So here are my tips and pointers on gifting, non-gifting and re-gifting:

1) Don't be a procrastinator like me - get your shopping done early! You can really pick out something that is meaningful if you aren't rushing.

2) and on that note... make it meaningful! I can tell by a person's gift giving if they really pay attention so make it count. I know gift cards are more convenient but nothing can replace the feeling that someone actually took their time and resources to PICK SOMETHING OUT for me.

3) You know that saying "it's the thought that counts" ? Well, it really is! One pet peeve I have is when close friends or family give the same "we had no money" every year. Especially when they are buying flat screen TV's, I-pads, and all the latest gadgets throughout the year. I mean, really? At least send a card then! It is a nice, inexpensive way to show you care.

4) My favorite gift of all -- a card! I love greeting cards of all kinds. We make it a point to send out cards every year because it simply is not in the budget to buy everyone we love a present. One day when I am a baller I will but until then I really enjoy sending out my Christmas cards.

5) Presentation counts-- wrapping, bows, labels, come on get into it! LOL.

6) Yummy goodies make great gifts. One year my friend made peppermint bark and gave it out in cute boxes. Just the fact that she took the time to give us something homemade really meant a lot.

7) Have fun, give from the heart and be a good receiver too! Christmas is not about the gifts at all. Don't get sucked into that "why did you get me something? I didn't get you anything" mindset. If someone wants to give, learn how to just receive gratefully. Gifting from the heart is "no strings attached".

8) Remember not to attach emotional strings when you give. Giving a gift no matter how big or small does not give you entitlement to anything. I know this one seems kind of obvious but given some recent events, I just had to mention it.

Happy last minute shopping friends :) XOXO

Monthly Devotional : December

Friends,

I am so excited to share my very first GUEST POST over on the "Devotionals" section of the blog. This post is entitled "As I Sleep" and is an incredibly touching, personal experience of a good friend of mine named Sophie Jones. Sophie has chosen to remain anonymous but was very glad to share a little piece of her heart with you all. I hope you are blessed in reading it and look for our next devotional in January =)

To read it, go up to the tabs on this page and click "devotionals".



PS- If you want to contribute to future devotionals, please feel free to contact me!