Catch Up Post: Holidays and Family Traditions

Why, HELLO Blog world! Have I missed you!

With the new position at work, my personal writing, family, and ministry projects it has been nearly impossible to find blogging time but I wanted to touch base and also ramble a bit about the Holidays.

Thanksgiving was wonderful!! We spent most of the day at our church serving a Thanksgiving meal to the community. Nearly 200 people came and were fed a warm meal that day. We also had a mini pantry so that they can take groceries home, live music, crayons and coloring sheets for the kids.. it was so much fun to be a part of. Here are some pics from that event:

All ready to get started. Green Beans!!

Awesome team of servers.

After church, we went to my mom's for dinner and some family time.  My aunt is visiting from Arizona so it was nice to spend a Thanksgiving with her after so many years. I can truly say that I am thankful for so much and it was amazing to be able to give back on this day. It really made me start to think about my little family and the traditions we are starting with Aiden. He is 19 months old now - such a big boy!

I want to make sure that we teach him to give back and perhaps make it a Thanksgiving tradition to volunteer or help out in some way. I think it is an important thing to teach him so I look forward to serving with my husband and our son in the future.

And speaking of traditions... what are your holiday traditions? I have so many that I grew up with and ever since creating a family of my own, we have been working on incorporating our old traditions but also coming up with some brand new ones! The beauty of family traditions are that you can enjoy them as a family. One thing I don't want are for my traditions to become a routine or even worse.. an obligation. What we do, should always be out of LOVE and not a sense of feeling obligated to attend a function or guilted into it for that matter.  I would hate for Aiden to grow up and feel like he "has no choice" but to come  home for the Holidays. I want him to have fond memories of the Holidays and his traditions as a child... it's time to make memories!!

For Christmas Eve, we will be letting Aiden open up gifts from extended family and friends. Eventually, this will happen at midnight but while he is still a baby, he can open gifts before bed. We'll have dinner and some fun and maybe we'll even leave cookies and milk out for Santa :)

On Christmas morning, we will have a family breakfast and open up gifts together under the tree. Aiden can get his gifts from "Santa" (mama and dada) and we can spend the day in our PJ's, just us.

Our Tree- Christmas 2012 :)

I'd like to eventually start some Holiday activities together... maybe an art project or a favorite recipe we create together. Who knows... but for now, I think our traditions are starting to shape up. I am so very grateful for my little family and the opportunity to celebrate and be together during these special times. I just LOVE the holidays!!

Catch ya later,
~A

Sounding Off: Ask me what I REALLY think about "Attachment Parenting"

Recently, TIME Magazine had a story about Dr. Sears and attachment parenting... you know the story, the one with "the cover" showing a mom breastfeeding her three year old son while standing on a stool. The image has been plastered everywhere but just in case you haven't seen it..

I read the article and it is not only about breastfeeding but "attachment parenting". Breastfeeding is one aspect of the attachment parenting method and it is obvious why they chose to play up this particular part of it. My friend Quiana recently posted a blog titled "Are you Gullible Enough" which really hit the nail on the head as far as describing what my feelings were about the cover. For weeks I've just been sharing her post and did not want to get into anything here on my blog... but those days are over folks!

Recently, Anderson Cooper had famous moms Rebbecca Romijn and Mayim Bialik on his show to discuss this cover and attachment parenting. I thought his show was very informative and it really brought to light the misconceptions about both sides of the "mommy wars" this cover has sparked. So what is attachment parenting? According to Dr. Sears' website, it is practicing the "7 Bs" -- Birth Bonding, Breastfeeding, Baby-wearing, Bedding Close by, Beware of Baby Trainers and Balance. Sounds simple enough right? Wrong! Moms everywhere are going nuts over this thing called attachment parenting.

Here's what I think -- labels.. I truly hate labels. Why do we as a society feel like we need to label everything and store it neatly in air-tight containers? Especially when it comes to parenting, this is just impossible! I happen to love Dr. Sears' website and it has been an incredibly useful resource for me since I was pregnant with Aiden but by no means do I put myself in the "attachment parenting" category. I am just a mom who tries to follow her instincts and make informed decisions for my son.  I read, I research, and at the end of the day I do what I FEEL is right for us. Sometimes, that includes aspects of the attachment parenting method and sometimes it does not.

I recently was having a conversation with someone and she chose to make some ignorant comments and pass some pretty mean judgments about my son. Nothing makes you "see red" as a mother more than when someone is speaking negatively about your child and/or your parenting method. Why do people feel they need to tell moms what they are doing wrong and more importantly, why do they need to make it a competition? You get to raise your kids, and I get to raise mine.

Yea, that's right I AM Mom Enough!

That is exactly what TIME magazine did with this cover -- "Are you Mom Enough?" They made it a competition about how to be the better mom and the sad thing is that moms all over the country fell right into that trap. The picture itself is very misleading about breastfeeding a toddler. The way his hands are dropped down to his sides, his facial expression and the awkward position he is standing in do not correctly represent extended breastfeeding in my opinion. I also think that the way the camera is angled, the way he is standing on that stool and even the clothes he is wearing were all intentionally done to make him look even older than he is.  He is 3 years old!

For me, I cannot see myself breastfeeding Aiden at 3 years old. My hope is to be completely done with it by his 2nd birthday and that is not because I think it is weird or gross... I simply feel that I selfishly want my boobs back.. I want some freedom, some space and it really is a decision that is all about ME rather than Aiden. And I am OKAY with that. I want to do what is best for him but I will not be a martyr mom either. Sometimes I will do what is best for ME too. Other moms feel just fine with breastfeeding well beyond the 2nd birthday and that is just wonderful in my opinion! There are so many benefits to both mother and baby with extended breastfeeding and if you still think that is crazy than you haven't done enough reading. The longer a mom can breastfeed, the better and baby-led weaning is actually proven to be the more natural, beneficial route. I hope Aiden weans himself but if it doesn't happen by the time he is 2, there will be some "mommy-led" weaning. Ha!

So here's what I REALLY think about the different aspects of attachment parenting:

1) Drug free birth -- Personally, I think it is kind of insane that women put so much pressure on themselves to labor completely free of pain medication. If men were the ones who gave birth this would never be an issue.. they would take the drugs! But us women, we are a different story. I say, if you can have a drug free birth and feel that is right for you, then go for it! But if you (like me) want to get an epidural, then take care of YOU mama! Delivering vaginally was more important to me than going drug free so at 2am when I was in so much and needed sleep, I got that heavenly epidural. I got some much needed shut-eye and in a few hours I was well rested and ready for the 2 hours of pushing (yes, that's right I had to push for 2 hours) it would take to deliver my child. I truly believe that had I not rested, I would have not had the strength and ultimately been taking in for C-section. I AM GLAD I got the epidural and I would do it again.

2) Breastfeeding -- this has truly been the best experience of my life and my proudest accomplishment. It was not easy and there are so many times I wanted to quit. For something so natural, it is also very, very difficult to get the hang of... I really think that every mom should at least try it and really commit for the first several weeks to trying.  Breast milk is the ideal food for babies, not man-made formula. Babies find the best possible nourishment and also comfort at the breast. Comfort in my opinion is just as important as nutrition so I do not agree with taking that comfort away from an infant who requires it. We value independence as a society way too much in my opinion. Infants are dependent on their mothers .. toddlers too... and small children... why the rush to make them independent? to make them self-soothe? I truly believe that they will learn that naturally and with time and most importantly at their own pace! Aiden will one day not need me for comfort but I do not think that I need to rush him. 13 months, we are still breastfeeding and I am okay with that.

3) Sleeping arrangements -- Mammals sleep close to one another. This goes again with what I stated above about independence. Every child is different, every child has different needs and the best I can say here is -- follow your instincts. I will not put my child down to sleep and let him cry in a room alone. Does that make him spoiled? Again, if you want to label it then go ahead... but I am confident that if he is nurtured and comforted in the way he needs to be, he will eventually grow to be a strong, independent person. He won't be 18 years old and sleeping with me and Daddy..  co-sleeping facilities breastfeeding and I personally could not do one without the other. Wake up, turn the light on, walk across the hall and breastfeed in the middle of the night? NO WAY.. with co-sleeping I barely need to open my eyes to get feedings done. This arrangement benefits us both.

4) Baby-wearing -- I love wearing Aiden in his Moby wrap.. I love cruising him around in his stroller. I don't think wearing him in a sling constantly is necessary and I certainly put him down when he was newborn. I picked him up, snuggled, him, let him sleep on my chest and all that good stuff but I also put him down. Now that he is walking, he doesn't want to be held period ("Give me freedom!!") and we love that about him. That kid will not be confined!  I think the idea of wearing your baby in a sling while doing household chores for example is kind of unnecessary unless of course your baby is hysterical when you put him/her down. Then, I totally get it. Aiden has had moments where he does not want to be put down and rather than let him scream his head off, I will pick  him up. I believe in acknowledging his needs and responding to them. It may not be the biggest dilemma in the world but in HIS WORLD it is the biggest thing. I'm going to give that the attention it deserves. I hope I can continue to give him that when he gets made fun of at school, when he doesn't get picked for a team, and when he goes through his first heart break.

5) Gentle Discipline -- we aren't really there yet with discipline because a 13 month old just isn't ready to be disciplined but we are starting to teach him about certain boundaries. I want him to know he is safe and that boundaries are necessary to keep him safe. I want to MODEL good behavior so that things like "saying please and thank you" are second nature to him. I do not play to tell him to "sit down and shut up" nor do I plan to spank him. I do not see how hitting a child teaches him not to hit others and I know for a fact that hitting children leaves emotional wounds that last well into adulthood. I cannot tell you the number of  adults I have spoken to, who recount stories of being hit as a child and the pain (emotionally) that is caused them. I realize this is controversial and I am not saying that all spanking is child abuse, but I just know so many people who have told me their story of a "spanking" gone too far. I think adults need to learn to be adults and deal with their frustrations...not expect a child to bear the burden of those frustrations.  Discipline is about learning and as Aiden gets older I know we will figure out a gentle form of discipline that works for us.

6) Balance -- Last but not least! I think this is the key point here. Parenting is about learning how to balance... you read and you get advice and you observe the needs of your child and then you put all of that information through a giant filter and work out what is best for YOUR child. No one knows your child better than you and Mrs. Smith from down the block may swear to you that "if you just get him used to it" or "if you keep trying" that your child will adapt and conform to what you want him to do... but YOU as the parent know better. You know your child's personality, you know your own needs, and you know the culture of your family.  If your child is a heavy sleeper, then go ahead and take him out for errands while he naps on the go, if your child is a light sleeper, then go ahead and give him a quiet place to sleep. Don't forget about your needs as a mom, don't forget to take some time for yourself and don't worry about what other people think.

No matter what TIME magazine says, or what Dr. Sears says, or what Mrs. Smith from down the block says...  YOU ARE MOM ENOUGH and so am I :)  So there it is folks.... what I really think about some hot topics in the mommy world lately. Your thoughts/comments are always welcome!

Toddlers!

Ever since Aiden turned 1, we have entered a totally different realm of babyhood.. we have actually come out of babyhood and entered the realm of (tun, ta ta) TODDLER! And I guess the definition of toddler would be "one who toddles" which he definitely does but it is so much more than that. Ever since his birthday, it's like the clouds have parted and he has discovered the world in a whole new way. It is like he has discovered himself and found his voice (literally and figuratively) and there is just no stopping him now!

Aiden is into EVERYTHING! He opens the cabinets, he goes into the toilet, he runs away from us,  he knows what we mean when we say NO and has a complete fit if we say it. He falls and bumps his head, cries about it and then gets back up to do the very same thing again -- such a boy!!  My favorite is actually when he'll pick something up off the floor and slowly bring it up to his mouth, waiting for one of us to tell him not to eat it.. it is so cute and funny to watch. The thing is, at only 13 months old Aiden is starting to assert himself and his personality is shining through.

So far I can tell you that he is a complete jokester - he loves to make us laugh and does so on purpose. He is cuddly and will just run up and give hugs when he feels like it. He is determined - once he sets his mind on a "project" he keeps going until achieving his goal. He is demanding - pay attention to him! And he is vocal about his current state of happiness. He is smart and curious and therefore requires a lot to keep him busy. Books, blocks, toys, music, and yes, ELMO (Sesame Street episodes) are all in full affect when we are at home.  He loves to explore and I love watching him discover more about the world around him.




I got some good advice from a friend about letting Aiden explore while still setting up boundaries. He said that it is just better to child-proof everything and create the safest environment possible. "Make it so that you don't have to say NO"  and I loved that advice. We still tell Aiden "no" but I do try my best to make his surroundings (at home) safe for him to explore freely. I love that he is a thinker and I want to always cultivate that and encourage it. I feel like constantly keeping him in a play pen or behind a gate just so that I won't have to bother is not the best way to do that.

Aiden loves to be outdoors too. He goes to the park almost daily, story time weekly at the library, and I am so excited for the weather warming up because we got a membership to the Bronx Zoo! He just loves to look at things and touch them and he is repeating words like crazy. I know that this is because he gets exposure to so many different things and I love that.  When it is necessary for him to be confined, like in the car seat for example, he is NOT happy about it. We've found that playing music in the car and giving him a book helps and even opening his window so he can gaze outside. That will usually settle him down for a car ride. Any additional tips on that are welcome! We have some road trips planned and I will take all the tips I can get!

Anyway, so far I really LOVE being mom to a toddler =) He is learning and growing so much and I still have no idea how this has happened so fast?!

Painting with Daddy... I made this paint from flour and water so he totally ate some and I was OK with it :)

Using crayons for the first time! 

Happy in the car seat - I was making him laugh!

Sigh... I just love him...   any ideas on how else to keep my little man busy? What do you think about setting boundaries for toddlers and giving them space to explore? I would love to hear from you!

Mother's Day Week: Selfishness gets a Reality Check

 As selfishness and complaint pervert the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision. --Helen Keller

 This weekend is Mother's Day and I have lots of thoughts and feelings about it so I think I will write about them in a series of posts. Two, maybe three leading up to Mother's Day and of course a recap of how my celebrations went!

Something I've really been thinking about though has been selfishness. And not the kind that people usually talk about. Not the self-centered, narcissistic, lack of empathy kind that you immediately know is wrong. While that kind of selfishness certainly is out there, it isn't the kind that has me thinking. No, I'm thinking about our basic needs and desires .. the "selfishness" we exhibit on a daily basis by simply fulfilling those wants and needs.

There are times every single day, where I have put my own needs above other people. This is not something that anyone would say is wrong it is simply necessary. For example: if I have not had lunch and am hungry, but my friends want to go out I will say "I need to eat first". I have a basic need to fulfill and currently, that need goes above what others may want. You wouldn't normally call that selfishness, but according to the definition it does qualify. Sometimes it is necessary to put our own needs on the front lines.. it is prioritizing those needs along with the needs of others that can get tricky. Most people struggle with this in one way or another and I am sure you can think of times when you thought you needed to "take care of yourself" but took that a little too far. That is where selfishness overpowers empathy and consideration for others. That is where it can ugly!

Since I became a mom, I have been amazed at how quickly my selfishness has been cut out of the picture. There is simply no room for it anymore .. My basic needs and desires that I had once put on the front lines, have taken a back seat to the needs and desires of someone else and in every possible way imaginable! When my son needs something, there is no telling him "I need to eat first" or even "I need to use the bathroom first" --- now that's a reality check!

My basic needs for sleep, food, warmth, shelter, can all be met AFTER I have met them for Aiden. I'm sure many moms can relate when they think of the times they couldn't take a shower or had to scarf down a bowl of cereal because the baby needed them. Well, what has that done for your selfishness?

For me, it has caused me to see the world through completely different eyes. It has changed the way I relate to people, it has changed my reaction to news or even a sad movie.. it has changed my tolerance for others and the depth of my relationships. More importantly, it has caused me to see myself through different eyes. When I am willing to wipe the slate clean and put every  need and desire away to take care of my son, when I look at him and know that I would give up my very own life for him, I can see myself through eyes that are not my own.

My selfishness has changed since becoming a mother and that transition has not always been easy...  Sometimes a long shower or a trip to the nail salon has helped to balance things out.. but still, there is nothing that could be more important than taking care of that little boy of mine.. knowing he is happy and healthy is more than I could ever hope for.

Mompetition & Stupid Comments

What is it with moms and this whole "mompetition" thing? I get that it is helpful to compare notes and it feels great to have some support from other women who understand, but why can't people just accept that every child, every mom, every family has to do what works for them and that is just fine?  It really grinds my gears when another mom talks about her baby and her way of doing things like it is doctrine or something.

It can just be really discouraging to hear certain comments... and it can be difficult to not let myself get sucked in to thinking or feeling like I am not doing the right thing as a mom. Today, my co-worker boastfully told me that at bedtime, she "gives her 4 month old a kiss, lays him in his crib, turns out the light and walks away."  Then she added that he sleeps through the entire night and if he cries, she just lets him CIO (cry it out) until he falls back to sleep on his own. "If you keep letting him sleep in your bed, he will never leave" she told me... "He is almost 1, aren't you going to stop breastfeeding now?"  Ohhhh and my favorite "Don't you think it's gross when women keep breastfeeding up until 18 months?!"

Aiden is almost 11 months old now and personally, I think he is doing great. He is so smart and physically strong. He is cruising all over the apartment using the walls to hold on to... I know he is going to start walking very soon. He can do the sign for "milk" and he also says a few words: Mama, Dada, Up, No, among others. He eats all different types of foods and he drinks water from a cup. He loves to dance and he loves to play "mama's gonna get you" and run away from me. He gives kisses (besitos) and hugs (tantos) and he is just a super happy, smart, and loving baby. I am so proud to be his Mama and I am blessed with other mom friends who celebrate these things with me...as I celebrate their kids with them and we encourage each other... so why do some moms feel the need to try and rain on my parade?

The sleeping thing has been honestly the hardest part of my last year as a new mom. I thought for sure that my baby would be sleeping through the night by now... but he isn't and honestly, I don't know how close we are to that.

Ever since he was 3 months old, I tried to establish a bedtime routine. He gets a warm bath, a massage with lotion, PJ's on and then we sit in the rocking chair and listen to bedtime music. He nurses for a while and then usually will drift off to sleep by 8pm.  I put him down in his crib and he stays there until around midnight when he wakes up to nurse. At that point, I am already asleep so my husband usually goes in to his room to get him and brings him to our bed. Then he stays in bed with us for the rest of the night.

My sweet boy in his crib with his stuffed monkey :)

We actually love to wake up to Aiden in the mornings. He is so happy and it is probably the best part of my day. It is also really nice to get time with him since I am away working 40 hours a week plus 10 hours of commuting. Nursing and bed sharing has been our way of bonding and I am grateful for that.

Now let me just say -- Aiden is getting bigger and he is starting to really take over our bed. He moves all over the place and kicks Daddy in the back so we realize that it may soon be time for a change... but I don't have it in me to just put him in his crib and let him cry it out.  All I can do is create a soothing, relaxing environment for sleep and try to remain as consistent as possible. I am also trying to create other associations for him when it comes to sleep that are not my boobs. His night time music, his stuffed monkey etc.  And I'm not saying that anyone who practices CIO is cruel, I'm just saying that it won't work for my family. There is loads of research out there in favor of cry it out and against it.. and both sides have convincing arguments... but CIO for me, goes against my instincts and I am committed to following my instincts as a parent.

I had to just walk away when my co-worker was talking to me today... especially when she said "why don't you just give him formula so that he can sleep all night?" .. because what I REALLY wanted to say was -- "it takes babies longer to digest formula so that's why formula fed infants go longer between feedings."  But I didn't say that... I won't return judgment with judgment... I won't get sucked in..  Woooossaa!

I know that eventually we will figure out how to get Aiden sleeping in his own bed and when it is the right time for him... In the interim, I pray that God gives me the patience and strength to do what is best for him. Do any of my readers have baby sleep advice? How about advice for handling stupid comments from other moms? LOL

A Mother's Breastfeeding Journey: My final post for Bravado

I’ve been taking some time to look back over the last 9 months since having my baby and to be honest; those first days are already kind of hazy in my memory. I wish I can relive the moment when Aiden was first placed in my arms but here I am, the mother to this growing boy with a budding personality and I am in awe every single day. He is by far the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and I am so grateful that I get to be his Mama. He started cutting his first tooth this past weekend and all he wanted was for me to hold him and cuddle him. I know that our bond is special and for that I know I can thank breastfeeding.

We got off to a rough start and there were many times I thought that I would just quit, but somehow we made it and I achieved my goal of breastfeeding my baby. I can honestly say that it is my proudest accomplishment. I love nursing!



It isn’t easy being a working mom and spending hours separated from Aiden. It isn’t easy to pump at the office and I’m not going to pretend here --- most times I really hate pumping. But when I get home and my baby boy starts lifting his arms and calling “mama” (yep, he is saying mama now) there is no better feeling than curling up with him under a warm blanket and nursing. Well, come to think of it there is one better feeling – knowing that he is getting the very best nutrition from nature’s best milk. I am so very grateful that I have had the chance to breastfeed my son and I went from being “on the fence” about it to being so passionate about it.

This experience has been one of the best of my life and I am so happy that I got to share it with the Bravado community. It was the support from my readers, fellow bloggers, and friends at Bravado that got me through some very tough moments and I will always be grateful for that. This year, I plan to become a certified lactation counselor and share my experience and knowledge with other women. I hope I can help others the way the Bravado team has helped me.


Aiden is growing and happy and thriving… we’ve got 3 more months until his first birthday and I am already planning his party! He is eating more solids, drinking expressed breast milk throughout the day and nursing at night. I am in no rush to wean him though I do plan to introduce whole cow’s milk when he turns 1. We are going to take it slow and just see what happens… I have no problems nursing him into toddlerhood. We’ll see!

The Mother Lion

Yep, that's me!

This might be a rambling / ranting one but I don't really care ... I need to let it out! So, have you heard that motherhood changes you? Well, I can confirm.. it really, truly does! And do you want to know the biggest thing it has changed about me? I'll tell you --- having Aiden has turned me into what I like to call "the mother lion". Here's how it works:

Person A admires my baby.... I allow person Person A to hold my baby.... my baby begins to scream while being held by Person A and I turn into "the mother lion", grab my baby and will be ready to pounce on Person A if there is any hesitation to hand him over.

Now, this didn't happen overnight... and when I allow myself to think back to those first few weeks of motherhood, I actually get angry at myself for not breaking out "the mother lion" sooner. If someone would grab my baby and go into another room, I would sit there choking on my anxiety, palms sweaty, heart beating, because I didn't want to make them feel bad or be seen as the overprotective new mother. My poor little newborn just needed to feel his Mama close to him and I didn't respond to his needs because of this. It seriously angers me when I think back on it but you live and you learn and I have learned!

This does not mean that I immediately jump to my baby's rescue the minute he cries... not at all. I will happily give whoever is holding him a chance to soothe him... but here are the things I am looking for in said person's response to the cries of my precious baby --- 1) that they actually care he is crying. This means NO laughing or not taking it seriously that my little one is upset. 2) that they acknowledge my place as the mother.. this means that if I am in the room don't go walking away to get him away from me thinking that will help. Chances are, he is crying because he isn't too fond of being held by you, so take it slow and let me smooth things over. If he sees that you are cool with his Mama, he will be cool with you too.

Seriously, it is annoying and I am sick and tired of explaining this to people. I get it - you want to hold the baby, he is cute and all that... trust me, I get it. BUT babies are human beings who also need their personal space respected. How would you feel if you were standing on 41st and Lexington, and an absolute stranger comes over and picks you up off the ground? I bet you'd start screaming and hitting the dude with you purse right? Well, a baby is no different. If he doesn't know you, he isn't going to want you to pick him up. You have to take it slow... talk to him, play with him and let him see that you are his mommy's friend.

And just because I want to put this in writing, let me make it clear --- I AM the mother lion... I AM my child's gatekeeper. All access to my child will be through me and his father. On our terms, and by our rules. There is no such thing as "entitlement" and I don't care who you are or how much DNA you share in common with him. For the next 18 years at least  -- I am the boss of Aiden. Whoever cannot respect me, will have limited access to him. That is that.

Don't mess with the Mother Lion!

Operation "Hungry Baby": Homemade Baby Food & Breastfeeding

Happy New Year!

I can't believe it's January already and Aiden will be 9 months in just a few weeks... Seriously guys, he is growing so fast and it makes me kind of sad. I love getting to know him more and learning his personality but I try to think back to the very first time the nurse put him in my arms and it gets a little hazy. I want to go back and relive that moment so much... I look at him, all 21 pounds of him and still cannot believe he was once a tiny, sleepy newborn not even a year ago.

A year! He will be one year old in just over three months and YOU KNOW I am already planning his birthday party... but that's an entirely different blog post... I wanted to give some updates on how it is going with "operation hungry baby" because it seems that the biggest part of my job as a new mom has been to nourish this little hungry boy.

Breastfeeding:

Yes, we are still nursing! I find it strange when people ask things like "you are STILL breastfeeding?" because my son is still an infant. Not that it would be less strange for them to ask when he is a toddler. But anyway, we are still nursing and I am over the moon about it! Giving my baby only breast milk (no formula) was a goal that I was not so sure I would reach.... we supplemented his feedings with formula for the first 8 weeks and I was NOT happy about it. But somehow, with some determination and lots of prayer I was able to ditch the formula and get Aiden on breast milk exclusively. It was so important to me to give him the VERY BEST and I know that God created this milk specifically for Aiden... Since I was pregnant with him, I have been very conscious of what goes inside of him because after all, he is dependent on me for all of his nourishment. That is a responsibility I have not taken lightly. I pump at the office throughout the day and store Aiden's milk in the freezer. He gets bottles throughout the day and then he nurses when I get home in the evening. He still nurses several times throughout the night and I hope to continue for as long as we can. I have no problems nursing Aiden until he is 2 years old and NO I do not think that is weird. For now, the plan is that we will introduce cow's milk when he turns 1 and then we'll see how it goes. I'm so grateful that I have been able to continue nursing despite the obstacles. I still can't understand the weirdness around breastfeeding but I hope to inspire and change the mind sets of people around me if I can. I feed Aiden on demand, anywhere we are. In church, at the doctor's office, the supermarket, - everywhere! I have a nursing cover and thankfully I have never forgotten it but if one day I don't have it and Aiden needs to eat, we'll just break out the mardi-gras beads cause "the girls" are coming out! Haha.



Baby Food:

Aiden started "solids" at 6 months and again, I am really conscious of what goes into him. After lots of reading we decided that Aiden would get homemade baby food and can I just say-- I LOVE IT! It is so much fun to cook for him and it is something I really, truly enjoy. We started with brown rice cereal that I mill into powder and then cook on the stove top for him. I also make him oatmeal this way and he loves it. After introducing all the basic "starter" foods like bananas, avocados, sweet potatoes, peas, etc. we have started to mix things together and make some pretty awesome combos. I use breast milk when pureeing the veggies and water for the fruit. Aiden has also had pureed turkey and chicken. He is starting egg yolks this week... We use organic chicken/turkey/eggs because of growth hormone concerns. Just last night he had pureed chicken and apples for dinner and he ate it all! Another really great thing has been organic whole milk yogurt. We buy the Stonyfield plain yogurt and it is great. He enjoys eating it plain and it is also really great for mixing with everything! We mix yogurt into his veggies, fruits, cereals, and it really makes a difference. The main thing I look for with yogurt is that it have lots of good bacteria to help break things down in Aiden's tummy and keep him regular. Stonyfield yogurt has 6 active cultures and that is proven to aid digestive health. I do plan to compile my baby food recipes at some point but here are just a few things Aiden really enjoys:



Butternut Squash

Chicken and Apples

Turkey and Sweet Potatoes

Turkey and Peas

Oatmeal and Nectarines

Brown Rice and Pears

Plums



It takes me a few hours every weekend (after a trip to the supermarket) to peel, core, chop up and steam all the food, then blend everything into perfect purees! It can be a lot of work depending on the food and sometimes I'd much rather just hang out with Aiden instead on my day off but making sure he gets wholesome, homemade food definitely beats out that desire. I have these really great baby food containers that seal great and go right in the freezer. I label everything in freezer bags and it is all ready to go. The containers are super practical and easy to take when on the go too. We have a little ice pack and they go right in with spoons, a bib etc. I always pack a few spoonful’s of yogurt when we go out too!



And another really cool thing -- the MESH FEEDER. Aiden enjoys bananas in his, slices of pear, and his favorite - ice! It really soothes him and even though he still has no teeth, I am convinced he is experiencing teething symptoms. He really loves to suck on ice from his mesh feeder and I love how happy it makes him.



Aiden also gets to drink water now and get this -- he won't take it in a bottle or Sippy cup! He wants to drink from a cup just like grownups do. So we fill his little blue cup with water and let him go for it. He gets so excited when he sees anyone drinking from a cup. It's to the point where if I am going to be drinking something in front of him, I better have his cup with water ready. Breast milk and water are his only two beverages and I plan on waiting a long, long while before introducing juice. There's really no nutritional value so I don't see the point. Some other things I plan to wait on are - white rice and white potato.



Overall, "operation hungry baby" is going really well and he really isn't a very hungry baby at all. He loves to eat and I LOVE to feed him =)

Tales of a Working Mama or Simply: I am TIRED!

I have a 6 month old son and while he does eat some baby food, he is breastfed exclusively. This means, no baby formula...


I have a 6 month old son who is supposed to drink milk that I pump for him and store in the refrigerator while I am away at work. I'm away from 7:45am until about 7pm and he is supposed to drink his bottles with Grandma.


He does NOT want his milk in a bottle... he is all like "WTH is this crap Grandma?" and he turns his nose up at it and seals his mouth shut and she has to perform all sorts of magic tricks to get him to drink it.

Drinking his Milky on the swings at the park

I have a 6 month old son who knows that I will be home eventually so he just waits until the evening to get his milk from "the source" instead. Since he isn't drinking much during the day, he makes up for it by getting up a lot more throughout the night.


I have a 6 month old son who wakes up every 2 or 3 hours and I haven't had a full night's sleep in so long and I am TIRED.


I have a 6 month old son who is "teething" and so when he wakes up to drink milk he sometimes cannot because his gums are hurting. I have to soothe him with some teething tablets, then feed him, and if that doesn't work I wake Daddy up so he can hold him and walk him around.


I do NOT sleep anymore....


I am TIRED.


I have a job at an amazing company and an awesome boss who has tolerated me for way too long.


I get to work late EVERY DAY... I drink too much coffee.


I am TIRED.


I have no time to iron my clothes or comb my hair... sometimes I put a little eye concealer and mascara on in the subway. On a really good day, there is even some blush! I am so hot I know.

Me in my cubicle today w/ my non-hairdo complete with dark circles. I have lip gloss on though!

I was in the conference room in a meeting today that went a little longer than I expected. You see, I have set times to go pump milk because my body isn't aware that my 6 month old is not with me. My body just knows that at certain times, we make milk and today that meeting cut right into the "milk time"


I have a hot pink blouse covered in milk now... I hope I was discreet about it during the meeting when I pulled my sweater closed and crossed my arms and continued talking with my company President about how I will be amazing at running my department while my supervisor is out for the next 3 months.


My supervisor is going on maternity leave and I have to juggle being a mom and being a good employee because I can't let anyone down.


But, I am TIRED.


I always forget something - my keys, my metro card, my wallet, my socks... yep I forgot socks today.

Yea that's right I took a pic of my feet. I wear basic black patent flats almost every day because I am sooo not a "shoe girl". My feet always hurt :/

I am TIRED ... just call me "Zombie Mom"

I need a manicure and an eyebrow wax soooo bad. I look like Burt.

As in "Burt and Ernie"... stay with me people!

I need a haircut too because apparently I am NOW after 6 months, experiencing postpartum hair loss.

When I get home, my boy just wants to be attached to me (both literally and figuratively) and I don't blame him... He has no idea why I up and leave him in the morning.

He fights his bed time because he hasn't seen me all day but he is TIRED.

When I get home, I have to run and cook dinner because I need food to survive. I also have to talk to my husband because after all, he needs me too.

This Mom stuff is no joke... this Career stuff is just too much some days. Today is one of those days. I am TIRED.

When I get home, I open the door and exclaim "Hi Honey!" and I see those blue eyes light up and that toothless smile and I hear my boy give a high-pitch belly laugh and realize that it's ME... that he is happy to see ME.

When I take him in my arms and he wiggles around excitedly, laughing and cooing as I sing to him, I know that I will do ANYTHING to see him laugh again.

And I am still TIRED ... but he is my anchor, he is everything, and it is all worth it. It really is :)

Mama loves you Aiden 

Homemade Baby Food: My New Favorite Hobby

I have so much to blog about and am actually in the car on my way to a mini vacation with my boys but I needed to post about how it's going with Aiden's solids. He loves them! He was so ready and he eats like a champ. Even more, I love making them for him.

First, I sit at my computer and plan his meals for the week. I have an Excel sheet and spreadsheets make me happy. Then I go out and buy his brown rice, fruits and vegetables. The most annoying part is peeling and coring the fruit but i just bought an apple corer and slices so it got easier. I take skins off apples, pears and stuff like that.

Then, I load everything into my rice cooked / steamer. I can boil apples in water and steam peas on the tray above them. Rice cereal is made on the stove top and it's super easy. Once all the food is cooked and soft, it's time to puree! I load the veggie into the Baby Bullet, add breast milk (I use instead of water) and press down to blend. Viola!

Today I made peas, green beans, rice cereal, bananas and prunes. Aiden has enough baby Food for two weeks! It makes me feel so good to cook for my boy :)

I only included one photo of a freezer bag full of food. By the time I thought about taking step by step pics, it was all done. Sorry! You have "April's Promise" that I will include more pics next time. Hehe I'm cheesy don't judge me.

Ok well, that's all for now. Happy weekend folks!

~A

Baby Decisions

Can I just say.... when it comes to babies, people get crazy! I mean, it all started while I was pregnant and total strangers would look at my coffee and be like "that's decaf right?!" Like, really? People feel like they need to be involved in decisions for MY baby and I admit, I don't quite understand where that comes from. Sometimes it gets really frustrating and I want to yell at people LOL. I value advice and certainly ask for it when needed but at the end of the day, I know better than anyone what is best for my baby. It's especially annoying when I have done research and have education on my side but people feel like they still know better because of what was done years ago. Honestly, it isn't my job to educate anyone but here are a few of the baby decisions I have made that have constantly come up and other people feel the need to question:


1) Baby Cereal in the bottle - No, I am not putting cereal in Aiden's bottle at night so that he can sleep longer. First of all if you didn't know, it's a choking hazard and second, he does not eat the cereal from the box. Also, we've noticed since starting solids that if we let him eat before bed he gets a tummy ache and actually sleeps less because his body is still learning to digest food. He gets gassy and uncomfortable so we are pulling back on the solids and taking it a bit more slow.



2) Juice - I am not giving my baby juice. He drinks breast milk and water and that's it. He enjoys apple sauce that I make him from sweet red apples and he really enjoys pears too. We have introduced prunes and he likes them. Banana so far is his least favorite. I prefer to just give him FRUIT and I don't feel he needs to drink sugary juice.



3) Baby Leap Frog / Baby Einstein - I know that when you go to the store and see all those baby toys with buttons for baby to push that make a bunch of sounds you think "that is so cool!" I know these toys claim to be educational and maybe they are. But for a child under the age of 2, it is really important that play be "child directed" in other words -- the toy should not be directing, but the baby should! Aiden has two toys that play music but besides that we are into blocks, balls, stuffed animals, and lots of board books and soft books. I love old school, wooden toys and toys that encourage him to develop problem-solving skills. Honestly, this Christmas if Aiden gets any electronic toys we will take them back or they will sit in his closet.


4) Bed Time Routine - Yes, Aiden has one! Some people think this is ridiculous but it really works. On nights when we have company over or for some other reason we don't do the routine, it takes him forever to fall asleep so I know it works. He gets a warm bath and we read his bath time peek-a-boo book. Then he gets lotion and a massage in the dark with his Praise Baby worship CD playing. Then we put on his feetie pajamas and rock in the rocking chair while he nurses. Usually, when I start to put his pajamas on he already starts yawning and rubbing his eyes.


5) Breastfeeding - I have encountered really mixed opinions on this and some people have even felt the need to tell me that Aiden should at least get one bottle of formula before bed. I know that formula fed babies go longer between feedings but it's only because it takes baby longer to digest. Here's the deal people -- Aiden is breastfed exclusively and will be until he is at least 1 years old. At that point, I may try to introduce whole cow's milk and continue breastfeeding him at night. Hey may even continue to be breastfed until he is 2 years old and NO I do not think that is gross! If you think it's "weird" or "gross" to breastfeed a child for the first two years or even 3, that really isn't my problem. It is really great for his brain development not to mention that extended breastfeeding decreases a woman's risk for breast and cervical cancers. Get educated!


I do not think that parenting is "one size fits all" and the most important thing is that every parent do what they think is best for their own baby. When a friend tells me about her decision to formula feed, I offer encouragement and support not judgment. This is NOT the freakin "mom of the year" contest people...it is annoying when someone tells me "well you must not like sleeping" because I say that I am not giving my baby formula with cereal at night. Yes, I got this comment and it took all the strength inside of me (and some help from the sweet, baby Jesus) to not go on a rampage telling this person off and "dropping some knowledge" in the process.



We all just want to do our best at this mommy thing and I think that's all that really matters.

One More Month to Introduce Solids!!

I realize that a lot of my posts have been "baby" related this month. Sorry to talk you all to death about my baby boy but he is changing so much and growing so fast and with the Fall season finally here and the holidays coming up, I am so excited about what all this means for Aiden :)

When Aiden turns 6 months, we are going to start introducing solids and I am so excited I just can't take it! I can totally understand why some moms start their babies on solids earlier, I have been tempted to mash up a banana and give it to him for a few weeks now... but I won't do it! After doing some research and talking with the pediatrician, we decided that we would wait until his 6 month birthday to start solids - yes, this includes rice cereal! It has been really interesting to see the response I've gotten from family and friends about this decision. Everything from "if you put some cereal in his bottle he will sleep through the night" to "look at how he eyes your food, poor baby is hungry!" But we have stuck to our guns and now we are one month away!

If you are interested, and would like to know why we decided to wait the 6 months to start solids, this article breaks it down pretty well. Kellymom is a great resource!

Again though, I can totally understand why moms choose to start earlier. Not only is it exciting to see your baby reach milestones but nursing is a big commitment and it can get exhausting. Incorporating solids into baby's diet is said to ease up those nursing marathons and then there is that hope that baby will sleep through the night. Honestly, I am not counting on this because I think it's just an "old wives tale" that babies on solids sleep better. Some of my friends have babies the same age as Aiden who sleep through the night but Aiden does not. He still wakes about every 3 hours to nurse... so he goes to bed at 8 and then wakes up to eat at 11pm, then 2am, 5am, and then is up for the day at 8am. It really is not that bad and I don't mind getting up with Aiden. The way I see it, my baby will sleep through the night when he is ready and I am not going to try all sorts of tricks to get him to adapt to MY schedule. My husband and I have learned to adapt to his schedule and his needs, not ours. YIELD TO AIDEN =)

Still, I am sure the Prince will enjoy food - he is already so aware of it! I've taken some frozen breast milk and mashed it up into a "slushie" to feed him with a spoon. He LOVED it! I also let him sit in his high chair and play with a sippie cup. It will probably be a while before he uses it (he just learned how to hold his bottle) but still, I feel like it gets him used to the "idea".

We have a Magic Baby Bullet and it looks so cool! I will be making homemade food for Aiden. Adults don't eat every meal out of a jar or can and neither should babies. I'm no expert but if a jar of carrot baby-food has a shelf life of two years there is just something wrong with that picture. I'd like to see you eat a carrot that has been sitting out for two years... gross! I will be buying fresh, organic veggies and fruits and making purees for Aiden. I can't wait to start!

I plan to introduce organic brown rice cereal first, with a little breast milk mixed in. Here is the recipe:

Rice Cereal

Ingredients:

1/4 c. rice powder (brown rice ground in blender or food processor)
1 cup water

Directions:

1. Bring liquid to boil in saucepan. Add the rice powder while stirring constantly.
2. Simmer for 10 minutes, whisking constantly, mix in formula or breast milk and fruits if desired
3. Serve warm.

Seems easy enough right?! Ha, we'll see... but if he takes to it we'll add in some banana and then who knows? My plan right now is just to take it slow and make it healthy. I want Aiden to have a taste for healthy foods with simple ingredients. I know a little boy who loves Sushi and asks for that over McDonald's any day. I think that is awesome! (we won't be taking Aiden to McDonald's btw - Yuk!)

Yay!!

Aspiring "Part-Time Cloth Diaper" Mommy - HELP!

With a more "environment conscious" new mommy club entering the scene, It seems like cloth diapers are all the rage now! My grandma has told me stories of pinning diapers, scrubbing poo out of them, and setting them out in the sun to dry in Puerto Rico - scary! But they have come a long way since then.


When I was pregnant, I was really interested in cloth diapering mostly because it is a way to save money. The two greatest expenses for most new parents are -- formula and diapers. I decided that I would cut both of those by breastfeeding and cloth diapering. Formula is crazy expensive; I know, we supplemented with formula for the first 8 weeks of Aiden's life and boy am I glad that is over. Disposable diapers seem to run out as soon as we buy them and I'm so ready to give this up too!

We got 5 "Q Baby" cloth diapers as a gift and have been using them for about a week now. Overall, they are pretty absorbent and no leaks so far... and yes, Aiden has done some pretty large #2's on them! They are really cheap compared to most cloth diapers I've seen out there, about $43 for a pack of 5 on Amazon. We've been using the Kushies biodegradable liners in the diapers but I'm not really a fan of these. When Aiden gets wet, the liner just gets soaked and since it's right up against his skin, he is uncomfortable and squirmy. I feel like we change the liners all the time! For this reason, I am pretty sure we will stick to disposables during the overnight hours because I need Aiden to be as comfortable as possible and let Mama sleep!

Anything better out there?

So, as I aspire to be a "part-time cloth diaper" mommy I have tons of questions... First, I have read some negative reviews about the diapers we have, mostly because the plastic liners get all funky when the diapers are washed in hot water. We don't have a washer/dryer so the diapers are soaked in a pail in some baking soda/oxy-clean and then washed by hand with detergent. Should I just buy some more of the Q Baby diapers or opt for something else? I really like the way the Bum Genius 4.0 diapers look but they are soooo pricey. Also, is with worth it to buy a wet bag to soak the diapers in? I think hanging them behind a door would be so much better than having a pail in our bathtub. What's a good wet bag to purchase?

Also, what is up with "Chinese prefolds"? These seem to cost a lot less than the other diapers but they require a "diaper cover" also. How does this work? Explain this to me palleesse!


I know it will be challenging to wash the diapers by hand - this is why I can only see myself doing this part-time. But it will be easier once I get a system set up. I need a wet bag, a drying rack and most importantly I need more diapers!

Seriously, between pumping at work to bring home fresh milk every day, cloth diapering, and pretty soon making homemade baby food, I feel like Super-Mama =) Woot- woot!

Still, every Super-Mama needs help - so please, HELP!!!

Gracias,
~A

The Breast-milk Baby?

Okay, so since becoming a new mom this spring my blog posts have started to take on a more "baby" theme. I do not want to constantly talk babies but it just happens to be a huge part of my life right now and though I do have lots of other things going on, this is the most important part so there ya go! Anyway, I decided to breastfeed my baby when I was pregnant and have been able to chronicle my experience on a blog called "The Breastfeeding Diaries" for Bravado Designs. You can follow me here: http://www.bravadodesigns.com/connect/bravado-mama-blogs/april-picon-blog

I am really excited about breastfeeding and everything I am learning about nursing my child. Especially since I do not have memories as a child of anyone in my family breastfeeding their baby, it is all very new to me. It also seems like very few women make the decision to breastfeed in general and it has been nice to get connected to a network of women and bond with new friends who are also nursing their babies. I do hope that my future daughter (woah did I just mention having MORE kids?!) will make the decision to breastfeed as well - it is a wonderful experience!

But should she (my future daughter - there we go again) have a baby doll that teaches her about breastfeeding? There is a doll coming to the U.S. called "The Breast-milk Baby" and it has brought about mixed reactions from parents. Some think it is making young girls too aware of their breasts, too sexual, or what have you. What do you think?

For me, I think baby dolls in general are not ideal toys for little girls. I played with dolls as a kid and would pretend to be a mommy and I feel like I could have spent more time building things or solving puzzles. My friend summed it up pretty simply - "Why grow up so fast?"

On the flip side of that, why is it OK for little girls to bottle feed their baby dolls and not breastfeed them? Any child of a nursing mother would automatically imitate her mom and nurse her dolls... maybe it is a good idea so that girls can learn to be proud of their bodies for the ACTUAL purpose they are meant for (nourishing a future baby) instead of being sucked into that sexual, fashion-magazine body image that so many young girls struggle with.

I'm not sure how I feel about this... but one thing is for sure, the doll is 89 bucks so my future daughter (ughh I said it again) will NOT be getting one of these. =) ha!

My First Night with My Son...

On April 21st, my life changed forever. I gave birth at 11:01 am to the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen. My contractions started at about 9 pm the night before and the labor went a lot better than I had imagined it. My son Aiden Kyle Picon was finally here weighing in at 7 pounds 3 ounces. The nurse placed him skin-to-skin on my chest and he immediately made his way over to my breast and latched on! I thought to myself “wow, this is going to be easier than I thought”… boy was I wrong!

Continue reading on my Bravado Designs blog - http://www.bravadodesigns.com/connect/bravado-mama-blogs/april-picon-blog

My Birth Story

I did my best to keep notes but most of this is just based on what I can remember while it's still pretty fresh in my head--

My due date was Sunday April 17th and as the case with most first-time moms, the date came and went and still no baby! It's kind of frustrating when you've been waiting 9 months for something and it doesn't happen but it was also kind of a relief. I wanted to give Baby Picon all the time he needed and I so desperately wanted the birthing process to occur as naturally as possible. So, I started to distract myself and just pray that when it did happen I wouldn't be in a public place - Lol!

On the 18th I went into my doctor's office for a checkup and she decided to put me on the fetal monitor for about half hour to check out the baby's activity. This is when things got a little scary. Baby Picon was not as active as my doctor wanted to see and this can sometimes indicate that there is stress affecting the baby. She sent me to the hospital that same day for more in depth testing. After drinking some orange juice and spending about 4 hours in the hospital, they decided that the baby seemed fine but if labor did not start on it's own that week, they would induce me on Friday. I had heard many horror stories about Pitocin and was DREADING being induced. I went home and prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more that I would not have to use Pitocin to get my contractions going.

I spent Tuesday of that week at my mom's house celebrating my grandfather's 90th birthday and felt lots of movement from the baby that day. I experienced a few sharp pains but nothing substantial so I just continued to hope. The next day (Wednesday) I was at home and felt the baby move ONCE in a 4 or 5 hour period. I tried not to panic but deep down I felt that something was wrong. I drank some orange juice and layed down on my side for a while and felt nothing. I called my doctor who instructed me to go to the hospital right away. My mom drove me and I called my husband. He immediately left work. I was so scared at that point and just wanted to get my baby out! At the hospital the doctor told me that I would have to be admitted and induced early the next morning. I was still nervous about the Pitocin but decided it was more important to get my baby out safely.

That night, the doctor gave me Cervadil which is a medicine used to begin the softening of the cervix in preparation for labor. She said "order some food and get a good night's sleep while the Cervadil does it's job.. we will start the Pitocin in the morning to get your labor going." My husband went out and got some UNO's Pizza and we got cozy in my hospital room. We put on American Idol and just relaxed. In my mind, this was my last night of good sleep before the baby so I was going to enjoy it. However, things rarely work out as I plan them and my contractions started just two hours after being given the Cervadil. Around 9pm I started getting contractions that were about 5 minutes apart. They were not that intense and the nurse told me they wouldn't get any worse. If they did, she would take the Cervadil out.

By 11pm that night, the contractions were very intense but no one really thought they were (except for me of course). I tend to internalize when it comes to pain so with my husband on the hospital bed next to me, I would breath through each contraction and just try to keep my cool. I kept telling myself "April, this is nothing compared to what's coming so don't be such a punk". My husband began to realize that I was really in pain and he helped me breath through the contractions. My nurse decided to come in and check me and to my surprise I was 4 centimeters dilated! My first words to J.J. after that were "CALL MY MOM".

I was in so much pain at that point and they moved me into a delivery room. I got my epidural and have to admit it was painful but once it took affect --- HEAVEN!! I went to sleep from 2:30am until 7am and when I woke up, my water had broken. About an hour after my water broke, the nurse checked and I was fully dilated and ready to start pushing.

By this point, I decided that I wanted to put on some makeup for some reason. Don't ask me why! But I'm so glad I had been able to sleep a bit and get some strength for what was coming next-- the REAL work.

I started pushing at 9am and at first, it was kind of hard because I didn't feel the "urge" very strongly. I decided not to click my epidural button anymore and let the pain actually work toward something. That did the trick! I started to gain momentum and the pushing started really progressing. I could feel the baby lowering and as he did, the urge became even stronger. At this point, I was mentally in a place of "I CAN DO THIS" and I kept telling myself "April, you were made for this!". My husband, mom and mother-in-law were in the room and I just kept hearing "WOW April you're doing great" and those encouragements kept me going. Around 10:30am, it started getting really, really hard! I've been told that pushing a baby out feels like the biggest "#2" of your life but I beg to differ! It did not feel like I was doing a #2 at all.. it felt like I was pushing a human being out of me! LOL.

For me, this was probably the most painful part. One of my friends described it best as "The ring of fire" and that's exactly what I felt. At this point I had to go somewhere else mentally to get through it. I could barely hear the people in the room now and all I could do was pray. "God, help me" is what I kept repeating and I started singing songs in my mind. I remember feeling like I was about to give up and screaming pretty loud when I heard my amazing nurse Lisa's voice. She said something along the lines of "April, look at me" and I did. She told me not to give up and that I could do this. This woman was such a great nurse and she saved me! I didn't hear anyone's voice but hers. She looked at me and then looked at the clock and said "So do you want your baby to be born at 11am?" I remember feeling a sudden burst of energy right at that moment and responding "let's do this."

Aiden Kyle Picon was born at 11:01am. It turns out he had the umbilical chord wrapped around his neck 3 TIMES and this is probably why I hadn't felt him moving as much. It was such a relief to see him and know he was safe. I immediately started crying and remember my husband kissing my head and saying he loved me. Then I waited to hear Aiden's cry and it was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. He was here and somehow, I had done it! Lisa (my nurse) came up to me and she said "April, you are A LOT stronger than you think you are."

.. and that is what I learned from this. I have what it takes to be a mom and I am STRONG. I am going to love and protect Aiden for as long as I am here on this earth and this taught me that I can do it. God gave me strength that day and I know now that I am going to rock at this mother thing! I'm just sayin ;)

XO,